Limbo is an uncertain period of time
or a state of uncertainty or non-resolution
where a person is awaiting an important decision,
action, or resolution.
It is an intermediate state or condition.
When you are in a state of limbo,
you will feel stuck,
as if there is absolutely no progression.
and one of the hallmark experiences that comes with limbo,
is the feeling of being powerless.
Because limbo is such an inherently negative state to experience,
it is easy to assume at face value
that everyone doesn't like limbo.
But actually,
some people do.
Some people feel safer in a state of limbo
and some people use limbo
as a passive-aggressive way of gaining power.
Disclaimer (pause to read):
Limbo
There are some reasons
why a person might have a positive kickback or payoff
as a result of creating or maintaining
a state of limbo.
Let's look at those reasons now.
#1. people who are terrified of losing control
and of losing options,
love limbo.
They love the personal freedom inherent in limbo.
To decide, often implies cutting off options.
to commit makes them feel trapped.
They fear the feeling of being trapped
in a decision that they might regret.
No matter how much it tortures the people around them,
a state of limbo, where everything is up in the air
creates a sense of personal freedom for them.
#2.
People who feel like they're trapped in a lose-lose scenario,
often use limbo as a strategy of avoidance.
For example, you find yourself in a situation
where deciding either way or taking an action either way
both leads to negative consequences,
the person themselves feels like they can't or don't wanna face.
And so, limbo as a way of postponing
or avoiding that situation altogether.
When this is the case,
a state of limbo creates a sense of personal safety for them.
At the very least, it postpones consequences
and postpones pain.
Therefore limbo can serve as a temporary sanctuary
where one can hide away from the risks
one might be making or taking
if they say something, do something
or decide something.
#3.
Limbo can be a way of passive aggressively
gaining power over other people.
Let's say you're in a situation
and you see that the progress of some situation
depends entirely on you.
That's a pretty powerful position to be in.
For example, if you're using limbo
as a way to gain shadow power resolve or certainty,
your progress depends on you providing information
or on you doing something,
or on you making a decision,
or on you initiating or creating resolution.
This means the other person is at your mercy.
You're the one in control with the ball in your court,
and this is where you wanna keep it.
So, you intentionally stay passive.
Limbo then, becomes a hook
keeping other people powerless
and trapped and waiting and stuck
with you in the power position.
This dynamic can become super abusive.
#4. People who like to avoid responsibility
because they have resistance to responsibility, in the first place,
especially those people who don't wanna take any responsibility,
when taking responsibility would make them seem like the "bad guy",
tend to use limbo as a way of avoiding that responsibility
and avoiding being "the bad guy" in a situation they find themselves in.
At some level, every person knows
that if they don't make a decision,
the decision will be made for them.
And when you are using limbo as a power strategy,
this is exactly what you want.
You want the other person to make the decision for you
or take that action.
Why? because then they're the one to blame for it.
Then, they're the one responsible for any fallout from it.
The idea behind this one
is that if they don't make a decision
or if they won't do something,
the pressure will build up and build up
until the other person decides something or does something.
By being committed to limbo,
that pressure to take responsibility
and make a decision or do something,
is on the other party.
It can be the other person's fault.
The other person could be the one to blame
for whatever is decided or done to create forward movement.
They can see themselves and be seen as the victim.
and the other party will have to see themselves
and be seen as "the bad guy" in the situation.
Regardless of whether this is actually the case, or not.
Using limbo as a means of gaining shadow power
is a very dirty chess game
with serious implications
in a universe that is based on the law of attraction,
what I like to call the law of mirroring,
and also,
managed by the law of cause and effect.
Whether conscious or subconscious,
it enhances weakness of character.
As a result, it's not good for you
or for anyone around you.
In order to let go of this strategy,
first and foremost,
you are going to have to tap into your bravery.
Limbo is the result of your unwillingness
to face, feel and deal with something in your life.
It is about fear and avoidance.
Bravery is the antidote.
And bravery is like a muscle you need to learn to exercise.
Admit that you are afraid,
and admit to what you are afraid of.
Bravery does not imply the lack of fear,
it implies that you are very conscious of the fact that you're afraid,
and yet you are moving forward,
and deciding something, or taking an action
or doing something
with that fear.
Bring your fear out into the open and into plain view.
By looking at it, examining it,
writing about it, talking about it,
finding out whatever it will take
to resolve that fear.
You need to validate your fear,
instead of judge yourself as wrong for having that fear in the first place.
If you judge your fear,
nothing's going to come out of that except for more fear.
This means, there's a really valid reason
why you're feeling the way you're feeling.
Regardless of whether or not
you're actually perceiving accurate consequences
that might come as a result
of something you might decide, or say, or do.
It's valid for you to feel that fear
because you're perceiving those consequences to exist.
The next thing you need to do is to get very very clear.
When you are using limbo
as a subconscious power strategy
or even a conscious one,
then you will actually use confusion
as a way of disguising the fact
that you're using limbo as a power strategy.
A better way of saying this is
you're going to use confusion as a way of disguising
your unwillingness to face and deal with
whatever situation in your life
you feel like you can't deal with and can't face.
If you're stuck in limbo, you will keep trying to distract,
postpone, defend, analyze, rationalize and explain the situation.
You do this so you can expend energy
without having to make a decision or take an action.
Essentially, whether you realize it or not
you're actively spinning your wheels
so as to avoid moving forward.
So the question you need to ask yourself is,
How are you confusing yourself?
and... How does doing so benefit you?
Be brave enough to see the personal payoffs
that staying stuck in limbo
and keeping other people in limbo
is giving to you.
From there, you need to make a conscious choice.
Either consciously choose to stay in limbo,
knowing very powerfully the reason why you're doing it
and also the consequences for doing so,
or...
get the hell out of it.
From there, face and examine and identify
how to approach and resolve the fear you have in your situation
and then, face examine and identify
how to approach and resolve the problem that you're afraid about
in and of itself.
Whatever you do, do not ignore,
do not deny, do not run away from
the problem that you are facing.
Serious rule of thumb there.
Don't go into avoidance mode.
Also, don't postpone the problem.
You'll find that a lot of people who are stuck in limbo
who become aware of the limbo that they're stuck in
tend to slip into this place of being like:
"Okay, I just need to "figure myself out"
or to resolve the fear,
before I move forward",
and actually that just is one more excuse to stay in limbo,
and to keep other people stuck there.
Get in the habit of playing things out.
If you are using the subconscious or conscious strategy of limbo
as a power strategy,
then, most likely,
you're playing a short term game.
You're not playing out
what the consequences of staying in limbo will be.
This means, you need to become aware of long-term repercussions.
Not just short-term repercussions.
So, the first thing that you need to become aware of
is the long-term repercussions of staying in limbo.
Literally close your eyes and just watch what happens.
In a month, two months,
three months,
four months,
five months, six months,
a year,
two years,
five years, ten years...
play it out as far as you can,
then do the same thing with any decision or action
you might take in the scenario that you're in.
What you will notice is the outcome will inevitably be
either the same or, what's more likely
much worse
if you stay in limbo,
than if you take an action.
Because limbo is really about the fear of commitment
and the fear of consequences
and the fear of making a decision
and the fear of being seen as "the bad guy",
I have a collection of videos
that you would benefit by watching.
The first is:
Indecision (Decisions And Indecisiveness)
The second is:
Why You Should Consciously Choose Your Consequences
The third is:
How To Get Over The Fear of Commitment
The fourth is:
Self-Concept (The Enemy of Awakening)
And the fifth is:
How To Get Over The Fear of Responsibility
When you are creating or maintaining a state of limbo,
you must know that life will not stop
and stay stuck for you forever.
Your life will be decided for you.
That means you're gonna be powerless to whatever happens.
And so,
you need to ask yourself the following question:
Do I care so much about feeling like the good guy
or about not having to take responsibility
for something going badly,
or about having the upper hand,
or about avoiding unwanted things,
that I am willing to let my life happen to me.
You cannot thrive in your life if you stay passive.
You cannot thrive in your life
if you decide to stay at the effect of your life.
The life satisfaction you seek
only belongs to people who are willing to be at the cause,
instead of at the effect of their life.
So, exercise your bravery and be proactive.
So, face what you need to face,
make the decision that you need to make,
take the action that you need to take
and resolve what needs to be resolved.
Have a good week.
If you like this video,
be sure to share it, like it and also subscribe to my channel
so you can see more content like this.
But I want to personally thank you for taking the initiative
and having the bravery to step into the space of awareness
not only for yourself, but for the benefit of those around you.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte www.tanyaduarte.com