Jordan Cheyenne, one of those youtuber "moms" was caught on camera when she was forcing
her son to cry for THE THUMBNAIL OF A VIDEO she was going to publish.
- Come closer for the video, come closer!
- Act like you're crying - I am crying
- like this.
No, like this.
For the video.
Like this.
Put your hand up.
Put your hand up like this.
Let them see em off.
Let them se em off.
Look at me, look at me.
Look at the camera, Look at the camera.
Ok, it's over.
And we know that she was forcing him because he said the words "I'm really crying", which
is the sole proof we need to confirm that he felt pressured into it.
What's more, this is not the first time she has exposed her son's emotions on camera,
as you can see in this clip from two years ago:
- Oh, it's ok if you want to cry.
It's OK.
It's OK sweetie, it's OK.
She's gonna be OK.
She's OK, is she your favorite puppy?
She's part of the family, huh? you sad? it's OK, sweetheart, you don't have to deal tears,
it's OK, it's gonna be OK.
You're so sweet, you're such a good brother...
But beyond making these kind of people famous, I think the problem goes much farther and
wide than that.
This is a classic case of a narcissistic mother, there's no doubt about it.
But a narcissistic mother doesn't have to be a youtuber to make your life miserable
in front of an audience.
That's why in this video I'm going to use this "mom" example to describe the red flags
that you should watch for to confirm if your mother is a narcissist, and why it's sometimes
so hard to spot it.
In this video, you will discover:
- How narcissistic mothers love to play the victim in front of an audience,
- How she makes sure to keep you emotionally illiterate, and
- How she manipulates you into triggering your emotions, so she can play the victim
again and repeat the vicious cycle.
Welcome back, my Body Language Buddies! my name is Jesús Enrique Rosas, I'm the Body
Language Guy, and it would be great if you join us... by just liking this video, subscribing
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Let's get down to it!
So, this is where it all begins; she loves playing the victim for an audience.
To inspire pity in others, she loves to be the center of attention and making you uncomportable,
upset or manipulating your emotions to give others the impression that she's a struggling
mother with a "difficult" son or daughter.
That’s one of the things I really don’t like about YouTube family channels.
THat’s a bunch of narcissistic men and women that only want to attract attention by harvesting
children into views.
I don’t have any other way to put it.
We are watching a modern day version of The Truman Show over and over again and of course,
those children have absolutely no say in their own exploitation.
But as I mentioned, your mother doesn't have to be a Youtuber to have an audience.
This kind of manipulation can happen, for example, at a family reunion.
All of a sudden, she makes a scene, she bursts into tears and you are the one responsible
for that.
You remain confused because you're absolutely sure that you did nothing wrong.
The biggest red flag is that she will change attitude almost instantly when she confirms
that she can no longer get what she wants.
For example, if the audience is no longer around or you don’t allow yourself to fall
for her charade.
Sadly, children CANNOT understand these red flags, because they simply don't have the
emotional awareness to understand what's going on.
And narcissistic mothers start that manipulation of their children at a very young age with
the seed of guilt.
Children grow up responsible not only for the happiness of their mom but also the opposite:
responsible of she not being sad, or angry, or upset.
It's like an emotional chain between your actions and your mother's reaction.
If you find yourself constantly asking yourself the question, "How am I going to explain this
to my mother", even for good things that happen to your life, then, yes, your mother might
be a narcissist.
And this is how we get to the source of that problem:
If you were born and grew into that toxic relationship, is much more difficult to be
aware of it, because mothers play a critical role in their sons and daughters' emotional
development.
Narcissistic mothers gaslight their children into becoming emotionally illiterate.
Imagine a small child that doesn’t understand what to expect when their mother reacts in
one or another way.
Also, those mothers will negate your emotions saying things like “Don’t cry like that,
it was not a big deal after all”, and at the same time you will notice that she shows
the same emotional reactions, but for an audience.
For example, maybe you feel betrayed by a friend at school, and you told your mother
and you started to cry.
If she says "Don't cry, it's not a big deal" she is negating your emotional expression.
I understand that most mothers and fathers do not have the emotional tools to understand
that you have to dig into the root of the emotion, so not every mother that says "don't
cry" is going to be a narcissist.
But...
If you find her reacting the same way, for example, if she has a reunion with her friends
and she starts sobbing because she felt betrayed by someone that was not present at that time...
it would be an odd contradiction.
And another red flag.
Since you are a child and don’t have a clear understanding of how to react and how to read
your own emotions, you’ll naturally keep going back to her for reference.
And that reference is going to be all mixed up.
"THIS is a big deal, THIS is NOT a big deal", but she will do the exact opposite that she
preaches.
And that is really confusing for a child.
Like Cheyenne's case, the boy was really crying but she insisted to cry for the camera.
It's a way of saying "your emotions are not that important unless they are validated by
an audience"
And speaking of emotions validated by an audience, Cheyenne has a video where she was talking
about breaking up with her boyfriend.
And this sentence caught my attention:
- And ended on a very positive, happy note, and what I wanna tell you guys is that everything
that you saw in camera was genuine.
100 percent.
I really fell for him.
- ...everything that you saw in camera was genuine.
100 percent.
It's sad when you feel the need to clarify that your emotions are real.
That's exactly how a narcissistic mother acts.
She needs the constant validation of her emotions by the audience.
And that's why you see all these youtuber families fake crying in front of a camera.
It's pathetic.
Trying to learn emotional intelligence from a narcissistic mother is like having a dictionary
that every time you open it, it shuffles terms with definitions.
For example, if you are going to look for the word BEYOTCH, it’s going to mean something
today and something else tomorrow, and yet a third definition the next day.
By the way, if you want to refine your observation skills, don't forget to download my 100 body
language tips in the description of this video.
At the same time, she will keep a close record of your reactions to further manipulate you.
“Don’t you dare act, like that time when you did such and such and such”.
Or “remember the time your girlfriend dumped you, who was the only one there to care for
you?”
In that case, she’s reframing YOUR emotional turmoil to be of something of a gain for HER.
You are the one feeling, but somehow, she always ends up as the protagonist.
That's another big red flag: you feel like every time you’re going to talk about how
YOU feel, she always turns the focus of the conversation to herself.
She always finds a way.
And if you don’t follow suit and begin talking about HER emotional needs, then she’s going
to make you feel guilty AGAIN to add to the collection of events.
It’s insane.
She not only will keep you emotionally illiterate but also learn to use your hot spots so she
can make you react and be upset.
After all, she is fully aware of all your emotional weaknesses.
That's why she has an uncanny ability to trigger you.
And she will make sure that she does it in front of an audience so it's much easier for
her to play the victim, and then the cycle repeats itself.
In the case of Jordan Cheyenne, there's a great example in one of her so-called apologies:
- We're very upset, we've been crying all day...
- Christian and I have been crying literally the entire day...
- It sucks because now people are gonna thing that our emotions from today were not genuine,
when they COMPLETELY were...
This is my question, if your son had been literally crying the whole day, how come you
forced him to pose for a thumbnail?
It makes you even more tone deaf, that you didn't care about how he felt.
And what's more, you think that argument could be part of an apology!
It's really sad.
I got a comment here in Youtube that tells a story that is a perfect example of this
behavior:
"This reminds me of my narcissistic mother.
I was very self conscious growing up and she would take pictures of me without my consent
or knowledge and then, after a couple of months she would send those pictures back.
They were pictures of me in my worst angle (...) when I was over 16 I asked her to stop
taking pictures of me because I didn't feel comfortable and wanted to look my best for
the photos but she did it anyway, starting a massive argument"
As I said earlier, a narcissistic mother will use your weak spots to trigger an argument.
"That wasn't the worst part of it all; everytime she would provoke me by calling me horrible
names, hitting me and trying to trigger a reaction from me, which would be me running
to another room, crying and asking her to leave me alone.
She would come into wherever I was, pointing a camera and recording me crying and begging
her to leave me alone.
She did that to make it look like I was the crazy one because once time passed by, she
would show me the recording and ask me, "Do you remember when you were out of control?"
and laugh.
I was never out of control, she recorded just the aftermath of my tears and not what she
did".
If you need help with your narcissistic mother or father, my email is open.
You can reach out to me anytime.
And if you found this video useful, you can help me make more of them becoming my supporter
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Take care, my Body Language Buddies!