- [Interviewer] What's something you wanna say to her?
- I definitely have liked you for a long time.
- [Interviewer] Is that something that you would be
willing to tell her?
What do you do right now?
(gentle music)
Do you have any texts from any crushes?
- Of course.
- Yeah, I do.
- Yes, I do have one lately.
- I do.
- She is a shorter, older woman.
- [Interviewer] How much older is she?
- She is 22 and she is the most attractive woman I've seen.
She puts a smile on my face every time I get to talk to her.
My favorite text from her is from January 16th.
"WTF, why are you so sweet?
"Literally the nicest guy I've ever met."
This was the day I would stop by her work
to give her flowers.
So I just said, "Would it be cool
"if I dropped it off at your front door?"
And she mentions how, "I've been quarantining.
"Do you think you can give it to my sister?
"I'd love to set it up in my room.
"I love them so much.
"Thank you, ZJ, this made my whole month."
Definitely felt like euphoric.
Like dang, I made this girl's whole month.
- He's a friend that I met in eighth grade, actually,
when I first moved to California from Chicago.
We've always just been close friends
and everybody has known us as close friends,
so it would be kind of weird if we were in a relationship
and that's kind of like where we're stuck at right now.
I obviously know that he likes me,
but I would not want him to know
that I like him because like, it'd just be weird.
He has no game whatsoever.
So he does not know how to talk to girls.
He texted me and said, "I've seen you on Spotify."
I said, "What do you mean?"
He goes, "Top 10 hottest singles."
And I left one open. (record scratching)
That was like the worst pickup line
I've ever heard in my life
and I just had to not listen to that.
- He has the patience to like listen to me
when I'm having, you know, hard times,
like mental health-wise or just like a hard time at home,
like he's always been there for me
and I really appreciate that,
even though I like just met him.
I'm not gonna lie.
Like it gets awkward because sometimes I can feel
like you know, I don't think he's as into me
as I am into him.
He's made it clear
that he doesn't really want anything right now.
And I'm like not here to like push the envelope.
"I just wanna say you're an amazing dude
"and I'm glad you're one of my closest friends."
And he said, "Thank you, Coco.
"You're just as amazing."
And then he said, "PS: you keep forgetting
"your earrings at my house.
"I'm pissed."
That was it.
- [Interviewer] Do you think she knows
that you have a crush on her?
- I feel like she should get the message,
you know me asking to hang out multiple times
and I don't know if she feels the same way back.
The first time we hang out on campus, she told me,
yeah, she was like, "Bring your skateboard
"so I can ride on it."
So I let her ride my skateboard around.
I actually took a video and I sent it to her.
When people, "Oh, can I ride your skateboard?"
It is just like a different feeling.
It's like, whoa, like you wanna ride my skateboard?
And it was her, and I was like, "Oh, okay, sure."
So here's the video.
I sent it to her.
And then I say, "You're a natural LMAO"
with three laughing emojis.
In all cap she said "LMFAO."
And she said "MF, I was struggling."
Yeah, that was it.
- So I actually met him in my drawing class.
He has really pretty eyes.
So I instantly was like, oh, who is this guy?
We kind of just were like talking.
We kind of connected one of my favorite
like anime shows at the time.
I asked for his Instagram when we were walking out
and then we just started chatting.
I asked him, "Hey, what you doing today?"
And he said, "Uh, I don't know,
"probably hitting up the gym or some."
I said, "Damn, for real on a Friday?"
And he said, "Yeah, we're about to get lit.
"What about you?"
And I said, "I was gonna see if you were available to hang."
He said "So down.
"What are you trying to do?"
I said, "I can pick you up
"and we could get some food or sump"
And he said, "Yeah, sure.
"It's so dope that you drive.
"I'm def a better driver though."
I was like, "Yeah, yeah, sure."
And then we hung out later that day.
I don't know, we just make jokes
and we make fun of each other.
And I just think, I don't know.
It's just like a fun interaction whenever I'm with him.
- He's originally from my area,
but he moved near San Francisco I think about a year ago
to go to university.
It turns out, like we've known each other before,
but like knew of each other,
but we never physically like met before,
like it's mostly been online.
- [Interviewer] Does he know that you have a crush on him?
- I mean, there are times where we flirt with each other,
but I think he only comes off more friendly in a way.
My favorite text exchange from him
is he sent me selfies of himself
and I put, "Oh my god, you're cute."
And he says, "Thanks, you're so pretty.
"I wanna save a bunch of photos of you
"in the chat so send a bunch."
I'm not gonna show his school,
but that's him with his glasses.
Just his smile.
It brings out like the joy that he sees in himself.
- I was talking to this guy for, I think three years.
And we've just been on and off, you know, hanging out,
talking every day for like three years.
And like, he went to college last year in September
and we were still talking,
but he was like setting boundaries or whatever,
'cause he's going to college.
So, you know, you don't wanna be tied down
when you're going to college, I guess.
Within like a month of going to college
he got a girlfriend.
I thought I should tell you myself that I have a girlfriend
and wanna set that boundary for the future,
given our history together.
And that was the last time we talked.
- [Interviewer] Since then, he's no longer dating someone?
- Okay, so he swiped up on my story and he was like, "Whoa."
It was about a TikTok that I made
that like took me forever to make,
so I was like, "That TikTok took me legit an hour to make."
And he said, "I believe you."
And I said, "So why are you allowed to text me
"all of a sudden?"
He said, "I was never not allowed to text you.
"Sorry for being MIA."
And I said, "Damn, I for real got ghosted.
"But I actually did miss talking to you.
"What's new in your life?"
He said, "I know, me too.
"I'll text you."
And then that was the end of that conversation.
- On her story she had something that said,
like had a boy and a girl driving in a car.
And then I think the dude said,
"Oh my god, I love Steve Lacy."
And she's like, "You too?"
And then it cuts to them,
like making out in the back of the car
and like getting all steamy and stuff.
And I said up on her story saying, "Relatable."
And she said, "Favorite song?"
I said, "Right now, 'In Front of Me.'"
- [Interviewer] Do you think you'll ever
tell her how you feel?
- I think I need to, but every time I talk to her,
like I said, I get like, just like a jolt of energy.
And it's like, I feel so much better after talking to her.
I think I really, really realized it
just 'cause I have where my palms are really sweaty.
That's really affected my love life,
when you want to like hold hands with a girl.
One day we were walking to the parking lot
listening to music like we always do.
She said, "Give me your hand."
I was like, "What?"
She was like, "I heard you talking about yours earlier.
"Like gimme your hands."
And then she gave me my hand
and then like she held my hand as we're listening to music
and we're kind of just swaying back and forth
talking to each other.
And she was like, "This isn't bad, right?"
And just like the feeling that I got from that,
and I was like, man, like, she really cares
about me and my problems.
And like, I really care.
I was really interested in what she had to say
about her insecurities,
so I can understand her more as a person,
'cause like I really like value her, you know?
- [Interviewer] What's something you wanna say to her?
- I definitely have liked you for a long time.
- [Interviewer] Is that something that you would be
willing to tell her?
Would you do it right now?
- I feel so awkward about it.
- Right now?
- [Interviewer] Yeah.
- That sounds like it would take a lot of balls.
- I said, "I think I have a crush on you."
Keep it a little high school reminiscent, you know?
- I told him, "Hi, I would love to take you on a date
"once you're back.
"Let me know."
Fingers crossed, it doesn't come out awkward.
(notification beeping)
(gentle music)
"Hi, what are you doing?"
I just said, "Yo, I'm on Jubilee.
"You should say hi."
It was a really bad response.
"Chillin' like a villain." (record scratching)
- [Interviewer] Wait, can we have you?
(phone ringing)
- Right here is good.
Oh man, I can't believe I'm doing this.
Hopefully she answers.
- [Crush] Hello?
- How was your morning?
- [Crush] Fine. - Fine.
- [Crush] It's kind of hot.
- Yeah, all right.
Um, let get to the point.
What's your schedule looking like
in the next weekend or two?
- [Crush] Weekends?
- Yeah, like when are you free?
- [Crush] Honestly, whenever.
- Whenever, all right.
Um, you trying to hang out sometime?
- [Crush] And do what?
- Just hang out like we always do.
- Yeah, we can.
- All right.
I think it's about time, you know, we try new things,
let go of the past and all that.
- [Crush] That might be a good idea.
- I think that's a good idea.
All right, see you around.
- [Crush] Okay.
- All right, love you, bye.
- [Crush] Okay, bye.
- No love you back.
Dammit!
I was trying to reel in the love you back.
Oh!
That was hard.
Like I think that's the most I've been like upfront.
- [Interviewer] That was great.
We're like, were you confident?
- Was it?
I was faking, boy.
I was faking, I was so nervous.