Translator: Leonardo Silva Reviewer: Mile Živković
You know, when my son was 12 years old,
he came from school and I heard him say,
"I hate George Bush."
(Laughter)
(Man in the audience) Yeah. Wayne Maines: I didn't know what to say -
(Laughter)
But I said the wrong things
because that day I learned, after winning two Maine Human Rights Commission cases,
we had just lost our court case in Superior Court
that would have brought true equality to the state of Maine.
Something snapped inside of me,
and I yelled, and said, "What did you just say?
I don't ever want to hear you say you hate the president of United States!
He's our commander-in-chief. It's the hardest job in the world."
I realized I had gone too far.
I saw the look in my young baby's eyes,
and I said, "Jonas, I'm so sorry
that I took my stress and frustration out on you.
Jonas, there's just too much hate in the world.
Let's try not to use the word 'hate' in our home.
You can disagree with the president's policies,
but please do not hate the man.
Jonas, I love you so much."
He said, "Yes, Dad," just smiled and went off with his sister.
There's been so much hate, and fear, and pain in our journey.
This is just some of the drama
that we had to deal with for five and a half years,
and still deal with today.
We didn't ask to be in the spotlight.
The Christian Right and a grandfather
unfortunately recruited his young grandson,
who came into our school and went in the girls bathroom with my daughter,
and said, "My grandfather says
we don't have to have any faggots in our school."
"We don't have to have any faggots in our school."
Nicole came home in tears.
She didn't even what the word meant.
It's a kind of hate and fear that my family started to live.
They don't know my family.
They don't know all of the transgender people and children that we know,
such proud Americans who are working hard every day
to teach their children to be proud Americans,
to go to school, and work hard, and grow.
That morning, when the kids -
The next morning, I had to talk to my children, my wife and I,
about hate, and fear, and evil,
and freedom of speech, and safety,
in a way that most parents cannot fathom.
And then I told them and my wife told them to be proud of who you are,
that in America you get to fight for what you believe in.
And then, I used these words that I had learned in school and in life,
"honor," "justice," and "equality,"
powerful words.
It wouldn't be too later that I had to learn
that you can't just say these words.
It takes action to make them come true.
And I learned that from my ten-year-olds, and my wife,
and so many other people that helped us.
Eleonor Roosevelt says the future belongs to the beauty of their dreams.
Every child in America should get to believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Every transgender person should get to believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Because of the fears of others,
our dreams and my family became nightmares.
I worry about Nicole and her friends' safety every day.
I worry about what being in court for five and half years would do to my children
when they get older.
I worry that transgender people can be fired in 23 states or be denied housing,
just because they are transgender.
And, man, I've got to tell you, I am so worried about this election.
I am so worried that our leaders will continue to display hate and anger
in ways that I never thought possible.
I worry that they won't have the courage
that I have seen children display every day to do the right thing.
You know, I understand fear.
I learned from my children what courage really means.
I had to face my own fears.
I'm just a poor kid from the other side of the tracks.
I did everything my mother and father told me to do
to get to the other side.
But I worried every day what the neighbors thought,
I worried about my clothes, I worried about my vocabulary,
I worried about my actions.
Well, I made it to the other side of the tracks.
I'm a safety professional.
I'm a nationally known incident command instructor.
I'm damn good at my job.
My job is to protect people, but I let my own fears
[make me] fail to protect my own children.
But, when I dug deep down in my belly and my soul
and finally asked myself what I was afraid of,
those old fears, my childhood fears, were still in my belly.
And, once I could verbalize those fears to my wife and to my children,
that I was ashamed
that my son wanted to be a girl -
No, I was ashamed that my son is a girl.
I never had two sons. I've always had a son and a daughter.
And, when I was able to do that,
that's what you get now -
I got my head on straight.
(Applause) (Cheers)
Transgender families and transgender children
deal with things that you can't even fathom.
My wife quit her job at the police department
and moved our kids to Portland, Maine, in 2009,
and we lived in hiding.
We lived in hiding in Portland, Maine, for two years,
and then we came out of hiding to fight the first bathroom bill in the country,
LD 1046.
(Applause) (Cheers)
When we were moving in,
we lived near Fitzpatrick field and I said,
"Well, maybe we can go to a football game."
So, we went to the first football game.
It was a great game. I love football.
The kids didn't really know, but they were having a good time.
You know, it's soccer, the football moms were all around us.
And then, it was half-time.
And Jonas says, "Hey, Dad, can I go to the snack bar?"
You've got realize I flinched because I had never let either one of my kids
ever go anywhere alone.
You know, I am now the proud father, I can say it publicly,
the proud father of identical twins,
one is a boy and one is a girl.
Not many dads get to say that,
but with that comes a lot of responsibility.
And I flinched, and then I realized,
"He can go.
Nobody knows who he is."
For the first time in many years,
my son could go to a football game
and be safe without me ten feet behind him.
I gave him 20 bucks, and the first thing I thought,
"I'm never going to see that again, you know."
(Laughter)
So -
we're watching the game,
the football moms are talking, "My son's better than your son,"
yada yada yada -
And Nicole goes, "Dad, sometimes I hate being transgender."
And I ain't never heard that before,
and I knew what would follow was not going to be good.
Well, the football moms heard it too, and they were moving in,
and this is something they'd never heard before.
And she said -
First, I said, "Sweetie, why do you say that?"
She said, "Dad -
Daddy,
I went to a PRISM meeting,
and we saw a movie about a transgender girl
who was killed, murdered."
She said, "Daddy, do you know that transgender people are raped
and murdered every day?"
Man -
I didn't know what to say.
And I could feel the football moms moving even closer,
and I picked her up and I put her in my arms, and I said,
"Sweetie,
you are an amazing and beautiful, young, powerful woman,
but you're not a baby anymore.
I can't always be there to protect you anymore.
Promise me you'll never go anywhere alone.
Promise me you will wait for your brother.
Sweetie," - every parent's said this -
"wherever you are, whatever time of day or night,
you call me and I'll be there."
And then I said, "Your mother and I know police everywhere in this state
who get it and they will come if I call them.
They will be there and bring you home."
Oh -
Just about then, Jonas shows up with a hot dog, and a hamburger,
French fries, and a candy apple, and whatever else -
(Laughter)
throws me a dollar and a nickel -
(Laughter)
And I say to him, "What did you get for your sister?"
He said, "She didn't say she wanted anything."
(Laughter)
The kids started watching the game. Kids are amazingly resilient.
And I was no longer at a football game.
I was trapped in another one of those nightmares.
Then, I looked out the corner of my eyes, and I had seven football moms in tears.
And I looked at them and I said,
"I have to do something!
Please, I have to do something!"
And I didn't know what to do. I said to them, "I don't know what to do."
On the way home - we walked to the game -
and I go, "I've got to get involved,
I've got use my voice. I have to do something."
And then, I started to be the person you see today,
a crying dad.
(Laughter)
I'll tell you -
(Cheers) (Applause)
My wife, and my kids, and the LGBT community
have taught me more about courage and doing something,
and they've taught me more about honor, and justice, and equality
than I'd ever thought possible.
They're only words, unless you do something and get involved,
and then they become true.
I want to tell our nation's leaders that are spewing this hatred and anger
to get off your butts!
Quit using the words -
Use words like "honor," and "justice," and "equality."
Get involved.
I'm asking you, everybody in this room and everybody across the nation,
to do what our state's highest court did.
They proved to my family and to out state
that everybody in Maine gets to be who they need to be.
(Applause) (Cheers)
It took five and a half years,
but our state's supreme justices had the courage.
And I know leaders on both sides of the aisle
that had the courage to help us get there.
A little too many on one side -
(Laughter)
but they helped us get there.
So, I'm challenging you and everybody across the nation
to get involved and to do something
to help prove to our children everywhere in the United States
that honor, justice, and equality are still words we can believe in.
So, thank you. Thank you very much.
(Applause) (Cheers)