- Oh, man, I can't wait to see Land Before Time 14.
- SHUT UP!
- This summer, prepare for Spider-Man...
again.
- Another Spider-Man? Dude, didn't they just make one like 2 years ago?
- Yeah, you see, Hollywood ran out of ideas. So now they're just making unnecessary sequels.
- Oh,
God. I wonder what they're gonna do next.
- Help!
Over here!
- We got a live one here!
Get over here, boy. Oh, you must be freezing. Oh, oh.
- Thanks, man. Name's Jack.
- But I thought you froze to death and drowned out there.
- Ah, nah.
It's the only way I can get rid of that clingy bitch. "Never let go, Jack." I mean, that's pretty creepy, right?
- Hella, bro.
- My name's Woody.
- You're the best, Woody.
- Never mind. I'm taking Woody to college with me.
- (laughs)
- (cries)
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh,
Andy.
- Oh, I love college.
- Do you have any toys?
- Oh. Yeah, I got one right here.
- There's a
snake in your pants.
- Seriously? I'm an adult now. I can live on my own.
In fact, I'm alone every
day.
- Come on.
Ah, f--k this. (gunshot)
-Damn you, liver failure!
(dying choke, flatlining)
- Tom was just an ordinary guy who started one of the biggest social networks ever.
- Hey, you look familiar.
- Does this ring a bell?
- Um...
Nope.
- Tom?
From myspace?
- What the hell is a myspace?
- But that website sucked ass. Now he's homeless.
- I'm so hungry.
- I still can't believe you killed Jesus.
- Hmm. I was just following orders.
- I don't die that easy.
- Jesus! Please forgive us.
- I forgive you, my son.
But my Tommy Gun don't!
(maniacal laugh and a gunshot)
(muzak playing)
- Not again.
- And do you, Jacob, take Bella's baby as your wife?
- I know! I love Bella's baby so much!
- Stop right there, molester!
(multiple gunshots, groaning)
- So let me get this straight.
All you have to do is take something that everyone knows, make a completely unnecessary sequel to it,
and then you make a crap ton of money off of it?
- Yeah, pretty much.
- Hmm.
- To see a bunch of alternate scenes and bloopers,
click the link in the description below!
- Made my belly button swell.
Mmm...
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