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Dear Thay,
I'm very grateful for your teaching that is helping me over time,
learn ways to transform my feeling that I am a victim.
I realize that I am transmitting the thinking and behavior of being a victim
from my Jewish and my Native American ancestors who sufferred greatly.
And from this practise, I have learned to cultivate understanding
and I believe, have loving my heart for people who have hurt me
but my question is, perhaps, how you might advice
that I can act and behave in a way that I do not behave as a victim.
And sometimes it is just a simple thing, I regret that even times,
here in the retreat, around many wonderful people that are my friends
but I feel like I have maybe some disconnection.
It is easier for me to just walk away and not look at them.
And then later I think, perhaps I am behaving as a victim
because I want to walk by them or say hello.
And perhaps, if you please advice me
on a better way to not behaving as a victim.
The key of the problem is how to see the suffering in them.
Of course there is suffering in these people.
If they are happy, they would not behave like that.
Behave in such a way that make you suffer
and feel you are the victim.
So, look and see that they are victims of their own suffering.
And so far, no one has been able to help them to suffer less.
You may be the first person who can help them.
That is process, looking deeply to see the suffering in them,
to see that they don't know how to transform the suffering
that no one so far has helped them to transform the suffering
and they continue to suffer
and you only suffer with them.
If you have that kind of insight and compassion in you
and you behave not as a victim but as a Bodhisatva.
Instead of trying to run away, you want to stay and help.
because you know you have the capacity to help.
Compassion goes together with happiness.
A scientist have found out that the energy of compassion can heal your body,
reduce inflammation and pain in your body.
Not only compassion can heal the mind, but also heal the body.
When you are happy, you are peaceful,
you have more energy
and with happiness as energy and compassion as the other kind of energy,
you are ready to stay and to help them suffer less.
If you have had the experience of helping other people, you have the confidence
that in this way, you can help
and you will not have the idea of running away.
Thank you.
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