welcome back my friends to the big book podcast my name is howard and i'm an alcoholic sober
since january 1st 1988 one day at a time this is the 59th episode of the big book podcast and i
hope you found this audio version of alcoholics anonymous to be both meaningful and enjoyable
in this episode story number 11 in part one of the stories section
of the second edition of the big book published in 1955
it's entitled home brewmeister and was one of only five of the original 29 stories in the
first edition to make it into the second edition its author clarence s got sober in early 1938.
along with a dozen other sober alcoholics from cleveland he would make the 40-mile drive to akron
each week to attend the oxford group with dr bob and the other original members of the akron group
at that time a majority of the cleveland contingent were catholic according to clarence
s when the roman catholic church learned that these men were attending the protestant-based
oxford group it threatened excommunication if they continued to attend clarence informed dr
bob and the members of the yet to be named akron group that catholics in the cleveland group would
have to stop coming which might result in their drinking the initial reluctance of the akron group
to sever ties with the oxford group created a rift between the cleveland and akron groups
as a result of that rift clarence and several others put together their own group in cleveland
in may 1939 they named the group alcoholics anonymous after the title of the newly written
big book and modeled it upon the 12 steps therein some aaa historians consider this to be the very
first aa group not affiliated with the oxford group along with the big book it soon became the
model for groups everywhere eventually the akron group also split from the oxford group to focus
solely on a a and become an organization that is truly not allied with any sect denomination
politics organization or institution though it may not be referenced in his story clarence's personal
influence on the aa pillars of inclusiveness and universality have certainly earned him a
place among the great early a.a pioneers and now part one story eleven home brewmeister
an originator of cleveland's group number three this one fought prohibition in vain
strangely enough i became acquainted with the hilarious life just at the time in my own life
when i was beginning really to settle down to a common sense sane domesticity
my wife became pregnant and the doctor recommended the use of port or ale so i bought a six gallon
crock and a few bottles listened to advice from amateur brewmeisters and was off on my beer
manufacturing career on a small scale for the time being somehow or other i must have misunderstood
the doctor's instructions for i not only made the beer for my wife i also drank it for her
as time went on i found that it was customary to open a few bottles whenever visitors dropped in
that being the case it didn't take me long to figure out that my meager manufacturing facilities
were entirely inadequate to the manufacture of beer for social and domestic consumption from that
point on i secured crocs of 10 gallon capacity and really took quite an active interest in
the manufacture of home brew we were having card parties with limb burger and beer quite regularly
eventually of course what with all the hilarity that could be provoked with a few gallons of beer
there seemed to be no need of bridge or poker playing for entertainment
the parties waxed more liquid and hilarious as time went on and eventually i discovered that a
little shot of liquor now and then between beers had the tendency to put me in a wacky mood much
quicker than having to down several quarts of beer to obtain the same effect the inevitable result of
this discovery was that i soon learned that beer made a very good chaser for whiskey that discovery
so intrigued me that i stayed on that diet almost entirely for the balance of my extensive drinking
life the last day of my drinking career i drank 22 of them between 10 and 12 a.m and
i shall never know how many more followed them until i was poured into bed that night
i got along fairly well with my party drinking for quite some time but eventually i began to
visit beer joints in between parties a night or so a week in a joint and a party or so week
at home or with friends along with a little lone drinking soon had me preparing for the existence
of a top flight drunkard three years after i started on my drinking career i lost my first
job at that time i was living out of town so i moved back to the hometown and made a connection
in a responsible position with one of the larger companies in the finance business up to this point
i had spent six years in the business and had enjoyed the reputation of being very successful
my new duties were extremely confining and my liquor consumption began to increase upon
leaving the office in the evening my first stop would be a saloon about a block away however as
there happened to be several saloons within that distance i didn't find it necessary to patronize
the same place each evening it doesn't pay to be seen in the same place at the same hour every day
the general procedure was to take four or five shots in the first place i stopped at
this would get me feeling fit and then i would start for home and fireside 13 miles away
on the way home numerous places must be passed if i were alone i would stop at four or five of them
but only one or two in the event i had my mistrusting wife with me
eventually i would arrive home for a late supper for which of course i had absolutely
no relish i would make a feeble attempt at eating supper but i never met with any howling success
i never enjoyed any meal but i ate my lunch at noon for two reasons first to help me get out of
the fog of the night before and second to furnish some measure of nourishment eventually the noon
meal was also dispensed with i cannot remember just when i became the victim of insomnia but
i do know that the last year and a half i never went to bed sober a single night i couldn't sleep
i had a mortal fear of going to bed and tossing all night evenings at home were an ordeal as a
result i would fall off in a drunken stupor every night how i was able to discharge my duties at the
office during those horrible mornings i will never be able to explain handling customers
dealers insurance people dictation telephoning directing new employees answering to superiors
and all the rest of it however it finally caught up with me and when it did i was a mental physical
and nervous wreck i arrived at the stage where i couldn't quite make it to the office some mornings
then i would send an excuse of illness but the firm became violently ill with my drunkenness
and their course of treatment was to remove their ulcer in the form of me
from the payroll amid much fanfare and very personal and sliding remarks and insinuations
during this time i had been threatened beaten kissed praised and damned alternately by relatives
family friends and strangers but of course it all went for naught how many times i swore off
in the morning and got drunk before sunset i don't know i was on the toboggan and really making time
after being fired i lined up with a new finance company that was just starting in business and
took the position of business promotion man contacting automobile dealers while working in an
office there was some semblance of restraint but oh boy when i got on the outside with this
new company without supervision did i go to town i really worked for several weeks and
having had a fairly wide acquaintance with the dealer trade it was not difficult for me to line
up enough of them to give me a very substantial volume of business with a minimum of effort
now i was getting drunk all the time it wasn't necessary to report to the office
in person every day and when i did go in it was just to make an appearance and bounce
right out again finally this company also became involved and i was once more looking for a job
then i learned something else i learned that a person just can't find a job hanging in a
dive or bar room all day and all night as jobs don't seem to turn up in those places
i became convinced of that because i spent most of my time there and nary a job turned up by
this time my chances of getting lined up in my chosen business were shot everyone had my number
and wouldn't hire me at any price i have omitted details of transgressions that i made when drunk
for several reasons one is that i don't remember too many of them as i was one of those drunks
who could be on his feet and attend a meeting or a party engage in a conversation with people and
do things that any nearly normal person would do and the next day not remember a thing about where
i was what i did whom i saw or how i got home that condition was a distinct handicap to me
in trying to vindicate myself with the not so patient wife things eventually came to the
point where i had no friends i didn't care to go visiting unless the parties we might visit
had plenty of liquor on hand and i could get drunk indeed i was always well on my way before i would
undertake to go visiting at all after holding good positions making better than an average
income for over 10 years i was in debt had no clothes to speak of no money no friends and no
one any longer tolerating me but my wife my son had absolutely no use for me even some of the
saloon keepers where i had spent so much time and money requested that i stay away from their places
finally an old business acquaintance of mine whom i hadn't seen for several years offered me a job
i was on that job a month and drunk most of the time just at this time my wife heard of a doctor
in another city who had been very successful with drunks she offered me the alternative of going to
see him or her leaving me for good and all well i had a job and i really wanted desperately to stop
drinking but i couldn't so i readily agreed to visit the doctor she recommended that was the
turning point of my life my wife accompanied me on my visit and the doctor really told me some things
that in my state of jitters nearly knocked me out of the chair he talked about himself
but i was sure it was about me he mentioned lies and deceptions in the course of his story
in the presence of the one person in the world i wouldn't want to know such things how did he
know all this i had never seen him before and at the time hoped i would never see him again however
he explained to me that he had been just such a rummy as i only for a much longer period of time
he advised me to enter the particular hospital with which he was connected and i readily agreed
in all honesty though i was skeptical but i wanted so definitely to quit drinking that i would have
welcomed any sort of physical torture or pain to accomplish the result i made arrangements
to enter the hospital three days later and promptly went out and got stiff for three days
it was with grim foreboding and advanced jitters that i checked in at the hospital
of course i had no hint or intimation as to what the treatment was to consist of
after being in the hospital for several days a plan of living was outlined to me a very simple
plan that i still find much joy and happiness in following it is impossible to put on paper all the
benefits i have derived physical mental domestic spiritual and monetary this is no idle talk it is
the truth from a physical standpoint i gained 16 pounds in the first two months i was off liquor
i eat three good meals a day now and really enjoy them i sleep like a baby and never
give a thought to such a thing as insomnia i feel as i did when i was 15 years younger
mentally i know where i was last night the night before and the nights before that also i have no
fear of anything i have self-confidence and assurance that cannot be confused with the
cockiness i once possessed i can think clearly and am helped much in my thinking and judgment
by my spiritual development which grows daily from a domestic standpoint we really have a home now
i am anxious to get home after dark my wife is glad to see me come in
my youngster has adopted me our home is always full of friends and visitors
no home brew has an inducement spiritually i found a friend who never lets me down and is
ever eager to help i can actually take my problems to him and he gives me comfort peace and happiness
from a monetary standpoint in the past few years i have reduced my reckless debts to almost nothing
and have had money to get along uncomfortably i still have my job and just prior to the writing
of this narrative i received an advancement for all of these blessings i thank him
this concludes the reading of home brewmeister from part one of the personal stories section
of the second edition of alcoholics anonymous i'm grateful you listened
stay tuned for our 60th episode featuring story 12 entitled the keys of the kingdom
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