Do you have a narcissist in your life and you have no idea how to manage him or her?
By the end of this video, you'll know exactly how to manage that narcissist in your life
and shut them down so that you can actually at peace in your life.
I'm Rebecca Zong, top 1% attorney and the bestselling author of the books Negotiate
Like You M.A.T.T.E.R. and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide, and I share all
my strategies and tactics on this channel so make sure you hit the subscribe button,
hit the little notification bell so that you can be notified every time I upload a new
video and you don't miss any of my tips or tricks.
Now if you are dealing with a narcissist in your life, whether it's a friend, a romantic
partner, a business partner, a neighbor, a coworker, a boss, an employee, whatever.
They are probably driving you crazy.
I get it because I've had to deal with my own share of narcissists in my life and there
were times that I could swear that they were actually trying to drive me crazy.
What they really want to do is look as good as possible, and you're either a vehicle to
help them do that or you're not.
If you are a vehicle to help them look as good as possible, then you're useful.
If you're not, then you're not.
And that's really how cut and dry it is, unfortunately, when it comes to narcissists.
So that's why in the beginning if they see that you have value, then they're as wonderful
as they possibly can be to you, and as your value starts to slowly erode for them, so
does their behavior toward you.
So as you uncover their scheme and you start calling them out on their behavior, their
behavior and their treatment of you actually becomes worse and worse.
And at some point you may become the enemy because really what they're trying to do is
look as good as possible and you're either helping him in doing that or you are not.
Okay, so with all of that joy and lightness in mind, what can you do to manage this narcissist
that may be in your life?
So step number one is not to criticize them.
You just don't want to directly criticize them.
You may want to point things out, things like that.
But if you are wanting this narcissist to actually be somewhat pleasant to you then
you definitely cannot criticize in any way.
They can't take criticism, even if they smell, the little scent or aroma in the air of something
that may be perceived as a criticism, they're going to come back on you like nobody's business.
And personally, I don't, I'm not one to pander to people, I don't really like having to do
that.
And so what I just tend to do is try to avoid the situation altogether.
I don't say, "Oh, you're so wonderful."
But I also try to stay away from criticizing.
I mean the bottom line is you want to try to work this person out of your life, but
you have to learn how to deal with them because there's going to be another narcissist that
comes along unless you really learn how to deal with this.
So I would just say try to stay away from directly criticizing this narcissist or you're
going to ... they're not going to take the criticism as a constructive feedback and incorporate
it and make changes.
So you might as well just stay away from criticizing them.
It's not going to make any difference anyway.
If you're recognizing these traits so far, give me a nailed it in the comments.
Okay.
So the second thing that you can do is not to ignore the narcissist completely.
They hate being ignored.
And I wouldn't say play into every single a bit of attention that they want, but this
is ... on managing a narcissist, believe me, as I said earlier, I'm not one to pander.
I hate that kind of stuff and I really dislike it from narcissist and especially covert narcissists.
But sometimes you have to deal with them.
So this is how you manage their personality, right?
And you're managing them in a way so that you can survive so that it's the most pleasant
it could possibly be for you.
So number two is not to ignore them completely.
They can't stand that, they hate, they're going to come back at you 10 fold, they're
going to drive you absolutely insane.
So maybe what you do is you just give them enough of an answer so that they can feel
like you got something, if they got something out of you, but not so much that you feel
like you're pandering to them.
Just remember that the narcissist is one of the most insecure people on the planet, and
so without their ego, they feel like they cease to exist.
So giving them some of what they want, will help you go a long way toward getting what
you want as well.
If you're actually negotiating with a narcissist for any reason, I actually have a couple of
videos on this.
One is how to negotiate with a narcissist.
The other one is how to negotiate with a narcissist ex.
And I will drop links to both of those videos below.
Okay.
And number three thing that you can do is stay disengaged.
It's so hard because they're constantly manipulating you.
They're constantly trying to give you bait so that you take the bait, that you will get
emotional and then they know that they have you.
Once you get emotional, they know they have you.
And they're constantly trying to manipulate you into their layer of control, and so by
staying disengaged, you stay out of that layer of control.
Okay.
So remember, manipulation is their game, and by not giving them 100% of what they want,
you will help to shut them down or at least minimize their behavior.
And if you are negotiating with a narcissist, you are definitely going to want to have my
Crush My Negotiation prep worksheet.
It will help you walk in, feel confident, feel powerful, give you everything that you
need from where to begin all the way to a win.
And I will drop a link to getting that free prep worksheet in the comments below.
So make sure you grab that.
And if you like this video and it was helpful for you, please give me a like, give it a
share, drop a comment below, let me know what you liked, what else maybe you have questions
on and I will definitely respond to you.
And makes sure that you hit that subscribe button and that notification bell so that
you don't miss one single tip or trick.
Thanks for popping by.
I hope to see you again, and remember that today is a perfect day to start negotiating
your best life.