JAMES IS HERE BECAUSE OF "X-MEN: APOCALYPSE" WHICH IS COMING OUT
ON FRIDAY.
I HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE.
I LOVED IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> COULD I FIX MY TIE IN YOUR CAMERA.
>> Stephen: GO AHEAD.
YOU LOOK VERY NICE.
>> THANKS VERY MUCH.
I'M REPRESENTING.
>> Stephen: YOU LOOK VERY POSH.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: I'VE INTERVIEWED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE FROM THESE
MUTANT MOVIES, AND I TRULY ENJOY THESE MOVIES AND VERY GOOD
ACTORS LIKE YOURSELF, BUT IF SOMEONE HAS BEEN TRAINED IN
METHOD ACTING, HOW DO YOU CONNECT TO A TRUTH OF A
CHARACTER WHO IS A SUPER HUMAN MUTANT?
LIKE WHAT, DO YOU POSSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON WITH, LIKE PROFESSOR
XAVIER?
>> I LOOK A LOT LIKE HIM.
>> Stephen: THAT'S TRUE.
Y SAW THE MOVIE.
YOU DO LOOK A LOT LIKE THAT GUY.
>> I DO.
NO, WELL, I CAN READ MINDS AS WELL.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> I CAN READ MINDS.
>> REALLY, THAT'S CRAZY BECAUSE I CAN READ MINES, TOO, HOW DID
YOU-- >> OH...
>> Stephen: REALLY?
THAT'S CRAZY, BECAUSE I ALS >> Stephen: I HAVE AN IDEA,
SINCE WE BOTH HAVE SHOULD TH SUPER HUMAN POWER, WHY DON'T WE
USE OUR POWER TO READ SOME MINDS TOGETHER.
>> YOU WANT TO GET INSIDE THEIR HEADS.
>> Stephen: IN A SEGMENT WE'RE GOING TO CALL "AUDIENCE MIND
READING.
( APPLAUSE ) WE'RE GOING TO POINT THE CAMERA
AT SOME AUDIENCE MEMBERS AND THEN JAMES AND I WILL USE OUR
TELEPATHIC ABILITIES TO AND THEN JAMES AND I WILL USE
OUR TELEPATHIC ABILITIES TO READ THEIR MINDS.
READ THEIR MINDS.
>> DO YOU FINGER YOURSELF WHEN YOU DO THAT AS WELL?
WHEN I ENTER YOUR HEADS, I FINGERS MYSELF.
>> Stephen: YES, SURE.
>> DO YOU IT.
>> Stephen: I DO IT TWO FUNGER.
I DO TWO FINGER.
AUDIENCE PREPARE YOUR MINDS TO BE PROBED.
IT WAS IN THE DISCLAIMER YOU SIGNED BEFORE YOU CAME IN HERE.
AND BEGIN.
>> YEAH, NO, I THINK I'M PICKING SOMETHING UP.
OOOH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
THERE HE IS.
OH, HE'S FINGERING HIMSELF, TOO.
HE'S THINKING, HE'S THINKING.
"LAST NIGHT I HAD ANOTHER SEX DREAM ABOUT FLO, THE PROGRESSIVE
LADY, AND I WONDER IF SHE HAD THE SAME DREAM ABOUT ME?
>> Stephen: I PICK UP THAT THOUGHT ALL TIME FROM PEOPLE.
YOU KNOW WHAT DOES IT FOR ME?
THAT GEICO DPEKO.
KIND OF SEXING.
I'M PICKING UP SOMEONE'S BRAIN THOUGHT.
SHE'S THINK AGO HE'S THINKING.
SORRY, THE HAIR THREW ME.
HE'S THINKING, "I AM BECKY WITH THE GOOD HAIR."
YOU GOT ANOTHER?
>> YEAH, YEAH, ONE'S COMING IN HERE.
THIS ONE'S THINKING, "IF WE BECAME TRAPPED IN THIS THEATER,
I WONDER WHO I'D EAT FIRST."
YEAH.
"PROBABLY THAT GUY."
THAT MEANS HE'S GOT GOOD PROTEIN COB TENT.
>> Stephen: GOOD MARBLING.
HERE'S ANOTHER, A VERY STRONG SIGNAL.
I'M HEARING SOMEONE THINK, ," I HAVE THE BEATLES SONG 'HEY JUDE'
STUCK IN MY HEAD, BUT IF I THINK ABOUT THE TUNE, IT WILL PROBABLY
COST THE SHOW A LOT OF MONEY."
I'M SO GLAD SHE DIDN'T THINK OF IT.
YOU CAN'T DO MORE THAN THREE NOTES OF THAT SONG.
>> AFTER YOU SPENT MONEY GETTING ME ON THE SHOW, YOU HAVE NOTHING
LEFT.
HONESTLY, TENS DOLLARS TO GET ME ON THIS.
OH, SUGAR ALLEY!
EAVE GOT A STRONG ONE.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU SAY, SUGAR ALLEY?
>> SUGAR ALLEY.
>> Stephen: SUGAR ALLEY?
AGAIN, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PORN MOVIE.
SUGAR ALLEY.
WHAT'S SUGAR ALLEY THINKING?
>> SUGAR ALLEY IS THINKING, "HOW COME ONLY HUMANS TURN INTO
GHOSTS?
I'D LOVE TO SEE A GHOST GIRAFFE."
>> Stephen: THAT SOUNDS SPOOKY.
THAT'S SPOOKY.
I'M GOING TO SWITCH MY FINGERING.
I HAVE A FRESH ONE.
>> YOU SHOULD WRAP UP NEXT TIME YOU SWITCH FINGERS.
EVERY TIME YOU SWITCH FINGERS, WE SHOULD BE SAFE.
>> Stephen: DOUBLE BAG IT?
OKAY.
THIS ONE'S THINKING, "I'M GOING TO NAME MY NEW BABY STAR WARS.
THAT WAY WHEN I ASK PEOPLE, "HEY, YOU WANT TO SEE THE NEW
STAR WARS" THEY HAVE TO LOOK AT MY BABY.
>> WAIT, WAIT.
>> Stephen: WAIT, WAIT.
>> I'M GETTING A SIGNAL.
SHE'S-- OH, HERE WE GO.
WHAT IS SHE?
COME ON NOW, COME ON NOW.
COME TO ME.
THERE YOU ARE.
OH, THAT'S NAUGHTY.
NO, SHE'S THINKING-- NO, WE'LL DO THAT LATER.
SHE'S THINKING-- SHE WAS THINKING, BEFORE THAT, BEFORE
THAT, SHE WAS THINKING IT'S WEIRD HOW OKAY AMERICANS ARE
BUYING HAMBURGERS FROM A CLONE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I LIKE HOW YOU SAY
CLOWN.
>> Stephen: OH, OH, OH, HOLD ON!
THIS IS THE MOST POWERFUL SIGNAL I HAVE GOTTEN.
NO ONE KNOWS I HAVE TATTER TOTS HIDDEN IN MY BEARD.
WOW, THAT WAS-- >> THAT WAS.
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY, THAT WAS TRULY --
>> THANK YOU.
I HOPE NO ONE FEELS VIOLATED.
>> I DON'T THINK ANYBODY FEELS VIOLATED.
EVERYBODY GOT SEEN TO.
>> Stephen: WAIRKT WAIT, I'M GETTING ONE MORE.
WAIT.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE "X-MEN: APOCALYPSE" IN THEATERS
EVERYWHERE MAY 27.
>> AND I'M GETTING ONE, IT'S YOU, IT'S YOU, IT'S YOU.
YOU'RE THINKING JAMES McAVOY, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NICK SWARDSON.