Say THIS & Sound Stupid
[0:00:00] Say this and look stupid.
In today's video, phrases and words that make you look like an idiot.
So, let's start things off with the word “plethora.”
Do you have a plethora of piñatas?
Do you know what plethora means?
And if you don't, don't worry.
Neither did Jefe in the classic movie, The Three Amigos.
We've got El Guapo making fun of Jefe because Jefe did not have an understanding of that
very complex and rarely used word.
And here's the point.
If you're using an overly complex work to try to make yourself look smarter, more superior
to others, this is going to backfire on you.
So, this was proven in the aptly named 2005 study, Consequences of Erudite Vernacular
Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with using long words needlessly.
So, what the researchers at Princeton discovered is when someone purposely used words that
were overly complex when they could have chosen something that was simpler, people's opinion
of them actually dropped.
So, the point here, don't think that bringing in words that nobody has heard of, that nobody
knows is going to make you look smarter.
Most likely, it's gonna backfire.
Next up, we’ve got the word “actually.”
So, the problem here is when you use this at the beginning of a sentence when you're
responding to somebody, it makes it sound like you're criticizing them, you're being
defensive, that you're coming up with an excuse.
So, imagine if one of your coworkers asks you “Hey, are you ready to get started working
on that project?”
Now, what's the feeling being conveyed here when you say “actually, I'm not”?
In my opinion, this seems a bit defensive and why wouldn’t you just simply say “no,
I'm not ready”?
What was the point of saying actually?
It just made you look defensive.
It kind of turns off the other person.
It's not necessary.
Next up on the list, the word “honestly.”
So, I've been guilty of this.
Honestly, let me tell you what happened.
So, when you say this, think about it.
Are you meaning that all the times before this you were lying to the person?
If you have to state that you are being honest this one time, what does that say about all
the other times that you've spoken and you've said something?
Again, we're oftentimes putting these words in there without even thinking about what
they're implying.
Next up, we've got no offense.
So, when you hear no offense, what do you think is gonna come next?
That person is going to offend you.
They're gonna say something that is going to disagree, something you don't wanna hear,
something that's gonna be critical.
And when you hear that's coming, what do you do?
You tighten up.
You set up your defenses.
You know this person is gonna say something that you probably don't wanna hear.
Another thing with saying no offense is you oftentimes say this in front of other people
and then you go into that criticism.
Publicly criticizing somebody and preempting it with no offense, really this is a failure
of leadership.
I think that you should take the person back into a private area and then make it about
you.
I have concerns.
Can we talk about this?
Are you open to feedback?
That's a lot better and it's a lot more direct than starting it off with no offense.
Just sayin’.
Thank you for clarifying that you said what you just said and that you let me know that
you just said it.
What's the point of saying just saying?
Okay.
We know this.
Maybe there's a little bit of emotion that you're trying to get across.
Pointing out that, you know, hey, I'm kind of removed from this.
Don't blame me.
The point is what you're saying makes no sense.
Just sayin’.
Next up, we’ve got the word “like.”
A very common crutch word that many of us fall to you.
I know I have.
The problem here, you sound like a valley girl.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was late for work like it was just— Everything was falling out of place.
I missed the bus like what could I do?
I got on the phone and I like tried to call somebody.
How many times are you gonna say that?
And you're already late for work.
And now, we're here in the way that you speak.
Maybe I'm your boss's boss talking to you and my impression is not gonna be good.
This is not a sign of high intelligence.
You may be the smartest person in the room.
But if you use the crutch word “like” all the time, you are not gonna come off that
way.
Similar to the crutch word “like”, we’ve got the crutch word “uhhh.”
And this isn't even a word.
This is just something that we say when we're thinking about what to say next.
The problem here is that it takes our intelligence or our perceived intelligence level and it
drops it significantly.
People that default, that fall into these crutch words again and again are rated as
less intelligent, as less of a leader.
So, you gotta be careful here.
You do wanna know when this is happening and this is the scariest part, is that many of
us— and I know I fall into this— we don't even notice when we're doing it.
The best thing I can advise you here is slow down.
It's okay to speak a little bit slower.
When you're speaking with someone one on one or you’re giving a presentation, don't be
afraid to slow it down and know what you want to say.
Now, let's talk about the word “irregardless.”
It's not a word.
Yes, I know what's in the dictionary somewhere, but it's not a proper word.
What you probably need to say yes regardless and that's what you wanna say.
Don't say irregardless.
[0:05:00] When you say regardless, it's, you know, I
really don't care about the consequences and that's what you mean.
So, irregardless, don’t say it.
Now, let’s talk about the words “literally”, “actually”, and “basically.”
These are intensifiers.
We use these words to add emphasis to what we're saying.
The problem is that they're easily overused.
So, if you use literally all the time, that's the word you default to, you need to actually
be doing it and it needs to have been done.
So, if you say “okay, I'm literally falling asleep here”, that meant that you have fallen
asleep.
And if you’ve fallen asleep, how are you talking?
And that's not really truly the case.
So, you’re lying?
You wanna make sure you're using this word correctly.
Similar to literally, actually is overused all the time.
What you're saying here is that this is 100% true.
So, when you say “actually, it was the most amazing night ever”, are you doing that—
you just wanted to add emphasis or really was it the most amazing night ever?
Because when you add that there, you are saying this was better than any other night.
And if that's not the case, then technically you’re lying.
And now, let's talk about basically.
A lot of people default.
They say this at the beginning of their sentences.
If you're saying this and you're explaining things in basic terms, why did you need to
state that you were gonna explain them in basic terms?
And if you’re using it just because it's a crutch, the issue here is it makes you look
really nervous.
It makes you look unsure of yourself.
Now, this next one, I personally make this mistake all the time and that is the use of
“I personally.”
Why do I need to state that I'm personally saying something which you can clearly tell
I am stating it?
Again, it's one of those crutch words we default to, we fall to when we’re looking for words
to fill space.
And if you're looking to get better, you're looking to improve, my best advice to you
is to record yourself.
Slow down, think, find small areas that you can improve, and then practice.
And really, that's what it is.
I know I've become a better speaker creating these videos and you can start to master the
language.
You can start to put this information in into practice by simply taking action.
So, have you ever used the phrase “could care less”?
What you meant to say is couldn't care less.
Because if you could care less, guess what?
You could actually care less.
So, the amount you care is a bit higher than couldn't care less.
Because if you couldn't care less, that means that you have hit rock bottom.
The point of saying this is that you don't care.
That you’re not worried about this.
Just make sure that you're saying the right thing.
With all due respect.
So, when you say this, the funny part about this is that you really don't respect that
person.
You're frustrated with them.
You wanna just speak your mind, but you don't wanna be held accountable for it.
Here's the deal, is that by saying with all due respect does not absolve you from the
consequences of your words.
And when you say this, we all know what it means, that this person you just don’t see
eye to eye with, you’re frustrated, and you don’t respect them.
So, how do deal with this?
Don’t start it with that.
That's gonna make the other person defensive.
Again, pull them into a private conversation.
Studies and studies have shown whenever people are behind closed doors, they're not having
to act for a crowd, they're not having to look good in front of others, they're more
open to seeing another person's point of view.
And don't try to press it on them.
You want people to trip over your point of view, your truth.
And you wanna help them see it and help them realize the point.
You're not gonna be able to force someone to see something, but you can help them realize
the truth.
Let’s nip this in the butt.
That's not what you meant to say.
You wanna say nip this in the bud.
Nip this in the bud refers to cutting something off before it has the chance to grow.
It refers to plants.
And the idea here is a little bit of work early on can save you a lot of hassle later.
So, now you know what not to say, check out this video to learn what to say.
I’ve got 21 phrases that every man needs to say more often.
Guys, I've been told this is one of my best videos ever made.
So, go check it out.
It's a great video.
And really, I talk about the things that a guy should say to be able to express himself
and also to really have a direct and a big impact on other people.
[0:09:19] End of Audio