♪ ♪ ♪
ABRACADABRA!
HOCUS POCUS!
BIM BAM!
BY THE POWER OF DRISCOLL!
>> ( COUGHING )
OH.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
GETTING LIMBERED UP, FLEXING THE
OLD MAGIC MUSCLES IF YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN.
>> MR. MAGNIFICENT.
>> IT'S ACTUALLY MR. MAGNIFICENT
THE MASTER OF MYSTERY.
>> SIT THERE.
>> James: OKAY.
>> FINISHED?
>> James: YUP.
>> OKAY, WELL, I WILL BE YOUR
ACTING MAGIC OFFICER FOR TODAY.
AND ACCORDING TO THE BOOK OF
MAGICAL LAW, PASSING THIS TEST
AND EARNING ONE'S LICENSE IS A
REQUIREMENT OF ALL WIZARDS AND
WITCHES WHO WISH TO LEGALLY
PRACTICE MAGIC IN THIS COUNTRY.
CAN FIRST I INSPECT YOUR WAND
PLEASE?
>> James: CHEEKY.
( LAUGHTER )
YOU'LL HAVE TO BUY ME DINNER
FIRST!
I'M KIDDING.
WAIT A SECOND, WONDER WHERE MY
WAND COULD BE,
PERHAPS... IT'S IN HERE...
I DON'T KNOW THAT'S JUST A PACK
OF CARDS.
WHAT JUST --
>> WHAT'S THAT?
>> James: MAGIC WAND.
THIS IS A WAND.
>> James: REALLY?
LOOKS LIKE A TWIG.
( LAUGHTER )
>> OKAY.
FOR THE NEXT PART OF THE TEST
I'LL NEED TO SEE YOU PERFORM A
SIMPLE CHARM OR JINX.
NOTHING TOO COMPLICATED.
ALTHOUGH I'M SURE THAT WON'T BE
PROBLEM FOR YOU.
>> James: WELL, BUCKLE YOUR SEAT
BELTS AND PREPARE TO BE AMAZED!
( LAUGHTER )
DA DA DA DA.
DA DA DA.
DA DA DA DA.
DA DA DA DA CHIA, DA DA DA DA
CHIA.
BABA BABA, DA DA DA DA.
( LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE )
WOO!
>> RIGHT, I CAN SEE THIS IS
QUICKLY BECOMING A WASTE OF MY
TIME.
NEXT UP I'LL NEED TO SEE A LEVEL
THREE TRANSFIGURATION SPELL:
TURNING AN INANIMATE OBJECT INTO
A LIVING ANIMAL.
ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.
MUTATIO ANIMUS!
( CLAPPING )
>> James: VERY IMPRESSIVE, BUT
I'M AFRAID AMATEUR HOUR I THINK
IS OVER.
TIME FOR THE REAL SHOW TO BEGIN.
♪ ♪ ♪
ONE SECOND PLEASE.
>> WHERE-- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
♪ ♪ ♪
( AUDIENCE CLAPPING )
♪ Y'ALL READY FOR THIS ♪
♪ GET DOWN ♪
♪ READY, READY, READY FOR THIS ♪
♪ YEAH
YEAH
♪ YEAH
YEAH
♪ YEAH
♪ ♪ ♪
( LAUGHTER )
>> STOP!
STOP WITH THAT!
>> James: WHY?
>> YOU'RE A JOKE.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT HERE,
BUT YOU CLEARLY DON'T KNOW ANY
ABOUT REAL MAGIC.
>> James: ( GASPS )
HOW DARE YOU!
I DEMAND AN APOLOGY!
>> APOLOGY?
YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO THAT
POOR DOVE!
>> James: YEAH, THAT IS A SHAME.
>> I MEAN, ANYONE CAN DO WHAT
YOU'RE DOING!
YOU'RE JUST PRANCING AROUND LIKE
THIS!
DANCY GIRLS!
OH, DANCE!
WHAT THE--
>> James: WELL, THAT WAS
EMBARRASSING.
( LAUGHTER )
>> REALLY?
WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S
EMBARRASSING.
YOU'VE FAILED!
>> James: WHAT?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WORK I PUT
INTO THIS?
I GOT THESE TWO, AND ON A DAY
RATE!
( LAUGHTER )
>> I DON'T CARE, YOU'RE A
DISGRACE TO MAGIC AND YOU
DESERVE ABSOLUTELY NO PART IN
THE WIZARDING COMMUNITY.
NOW GET OUT!
>> James: I WILL DO NOTHING OF
THE SORT.
IN FACT, I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO
YOUR MANAGER.
GO AND GET DUBLYDOBS, DOBLY,
DUBLY THE MAN WITH THE BEARD!
WEIRDY-BEARDY GUY.
HE'LL KNOW REAL MAGIC WHEN HE
SEES IT.
>> OH, YEAH?
HOW'S THIS FOR REAL MAGIC?
SWINUM!
( AUDIENCE REACTS )
>> James: OKAY, TURN ME BACK,
TURN ME BACK, NOW.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
COME BACK!
HEY, GIRLS, PICK ME UP!
PICK ME UP!
GIRLS!
COME BACK!
THIS IS A NIGHTMARE.