Nostalgia is a powerful force, able to warp people's perceptions.
But you know what they say: you can't go home again, something that anybody who's tried
to watch their favorite childhood shows as an adult can confirm.
Sometimes it's best to just leave well enough alone and not revisit the past, as proven
by these TV shows that have become unwatchable with age.
Full House
If you were like most kids in the late '80s, you were probably parked in front of ABC's
family-friendly TGIF block every Friday night.
And your parents probably hated every second of it, because Full House's saccharine morality
and terrible puns were just flat out hard to stomach.
“Remember that sausage and lima bean casserole I made?
I called it my ‘Sunday Surprise.’”
“We called it our ‘Monday Surprise.’”
“I was still getting surprised on Tuesday.”
A hundred terrible catchphrases later...
"You got it dude."
...we're reminded just how awkward and unfunny the original show was, especially now that
the series' continuation, Fuller House, has gotten past the first season on Netflix.
"Have mercy."
Xena: Warrior Princess
Xena: Warrior Princess is mainly remembered for the way it challenged female stereotypes
and the discussions that raged over its lesbian subtext.
And it also gave the world Lucy Lawless, for which we offer our heartfelt thanks.
However, the importance of the show has kind of papered over the fact that it's...not actually
very good, with iffy production values and clumsy directing.
Not to mention random tonal shifts, like hyper violence suddenly giving way to musical numbers.
We'll always love Xena the cultural phenomenon.
But the show itself?
Not so much.
Highlander: The Series
Twenty years ago, Highlander: The Series was about as good as it got for high fantasy.
Now?
We have Game of Thrones.
And once you've seen that, or any other modern television epic, it's hard to go back to Highlander's
outdated special effects, repetitive immortal-of-the-month scripts, and one-note acting.
The show kept telling us there could only be one.
Well… this ain't it.
Saved by the Bell
While '90s spinoffs Saved by the Bell: The College Years and Saved by the Bell: The New
Class have always been pretty unwatchable, the original show was once considered essential
television.
Digging out the NBC high school sitcom for your kids to watch today isn't advisable,
however, as many of the lessons are painfully dated.
“Haven’t you ever heard of the women’s movement?”
“Well sure.
Put on something cute and move it into the kitchen.”
If you want your kids to experience cool high school entertainment, just buy them some Archie
comics and spare them this horribly out of touch television.
Walker, Texas Ranger
The fact that Chuck Norris has become a living parody of this character is almost — but
not quite — enough to prepare you for a return visit to the unapologetically manly
Walker, Texas Ranger.
While Norris is clearly a skilled martial artist, he struggles with pretty much everything
else asked of him here.
And he's not the only one.
“And how you doin’ little pardner?”
“Fine, and it’s little visitor now.
Adadamdvhidohi is how you say it in Cherokee.”
“Oooh, well pardon my French, but uh...I’ll be damned.”
“Walker told me I have AIDS.”
How bad is Walker, Texas Ranger?
One of Conan O'Brien's most beloved comedy routines is simply playing clips from the
show.
That about says it all.
“My Walker, Texas Ranger lever right here.
Let’s give it a shot and see how it works.”
“Amigo!”
Baywatch
At its height, Baywatch was one of America's most highly coveted exports, commanding over
a billion weekly viewers from more than 148 countries.
But looking back at the show today it's plain to see that the skin routinely on display
was literally the only appeal.
With nowhere near enough drama to warrant an hour-long slot, Baywatch fills the gaps
with copious amounts of running, normally presented in slow motion to not only capture
the females’ bouncing chests in all their glory, but to make up for the fact that there
isn't much else going on.
Critics at the time hated it.
It may have taken nearly two decades, but fans are finally catching up.
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