IN OTHER NEWS -- KENTUCKY CLERK AND
HUCKABEE-PROCLAIMED SECOND COMING OF M.L.K. KIM DAVIS WENT
BACK TO WORK TODAY TO DO WHAT AMERICANS DO BEST -- AVOID
ACTUAL WORK.
>> KIM DAVIS TOLD THE MEDIA SHE WILL NOT AUTHORIZE LICENSES ON
HER FIRST DAY BACK.
>> ANY UNAUTHORIZED LICENSE THAT THEY ISSUE WILL NOT HAVE MY
NAME, MY TITLE OR MY AUTHORITY ON IT.
INSTEAD, THE LICENSE WILL STATE THAT THEY ARE ISSUED PURSUANT TO
A FEDERAL COURT ORDER.
>> Larry: SO YOU'RE TELLING ME KIM DAVIS IS COLLECTING A
GOVERNMENT PAYCHECK IN ORDER TO SIT AROUND AND LET EVERYONE ELSE
DO ALL THE WORK?
I THOUGHT WE CALLED PEOPLE LIKE THAT WELFARE QUEENS...
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY!
UNFORTUNATELY, LIKE A BIGOTRY HYDRA, YOU CUT OFF ONE HEAD AND
MORE SPRING UP.
THERE ARE 12 OTHER CLERKS AND JUDGES IN KENTUCKY,
NORTH CAROLINA AND ALABAMA COPY-CATTING KIM DAVIS'
STRATEGY.
ONE CLERK EVEN RODE HIS BIKE ACROSS THE STATE IN SUPPORT OF
HER.
RODE HIS BIKE? GOOD LORD!
I TELL YOU THIS -- THERE IS NO WAY IT'S MORE EFFECTIVE THAN HOW
I CHOSE TO SUPPORT FOR "THE STRAIN" BY
SPACE-BOARDING DOWN THE WEST SIDE HIGHWAY.
THAT WAS NOT EASY.
SO KIM DAVIS IS NOT ALONE, AND THAT'S AWFUL BECAUSE, DESPITE
WHAT SHE SAYS, THIS ISN'T ABOUT RELIGIOUS LIBERTY.
IT'S ABOUT USING RELIGION AS AN EXCUSE TO DENY SOMEONE ELSE'S
CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS.
(APPLAUSE) >> Larry: ALL RIGHT?
AND THAT'S WHY IT WAS SO AWESOME WHEN I FOUND OUT THESE GUYS WERE
GETTING INVOLVED.
>> THERE WERE QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS GROUP OF HEAVILY ARMED MEN.
THEY CALL THEMSELVES OATHKEEPERS.
P.D.
>> THIS IS JUST ABOUT KEEPING PEOPLE SAFE.
>> Larry: UM...
I THINK JAMES BLAKE COULD USE YOUR HELP.
AND THE BROTHER THAT LOOKS LIKE JAMES BLAKE.
(LAUGHTER) OKAY.
SO THESE OATHKEEPERS ARE A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO COME HEAVILY ARMED
TO AWKWARD CIVIC CONFRONTATIONS WITH THE INTENT OF PROTECTING
THE CONSTITUTION.
THEY'RE KIND OF LIKE THE WHITE BLACK PANTHERS.
I MEAN, TECHNICALLY, THEY'D BE WHITE PANTHERS, WHICH WOULD
TECHNICALLY BE SNOW LEOPARDS.
(LAUGHTER) I MEAN, I COULD GO ON, BUT WE'D
JUST GO INTO A LINGUISTIC SPIRAL AND THIS BIT WOULD NEVER END.
LET'S JUST CALL THEM WHITE LIONS.
OKAY.
SO THESE ALBINO TIGERS HAVE TAKEN IT UPON THEMSELVES TO
PROTECT KIM DAVIS BECAUSE "SHE" IS THE VICTIM HERE.
NOT THE PEOPLE WHOSE ACTUAL CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS ARE BEING
TRAMPLED ALL OVER.
SO WHAT DO THESE IVORY PUMAS HAVE TO SAY FOR THEMSELVES?
>> THE ISSUE IS STILL THAT A JUDGE TOOK AN ELECTED OFFICIAL,
A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES AND DETAINED THEM WITHOUT CAUSE.
>> Larry: WITHOUT CAUSE?
LOOK, KIM DAVIS WAS PUT IN JAIL BECAUSE A JUDGE LEGALLY HELD HER
IN CONTEMPT OF COURT.
FOR PEOPLE WHO ARM THEMSELVES TO PROTECT THE CONSTITUTION, YOU
SHOULD TRY READING IT.
>> IT'S IMPORTANT FOR OUR PRESENCE TO BE KNOWN BECAUSE
IT'S NOT AN ISSUE OF MARRIAGE.
>> Larry: NO, IT IS AN ISSUE OF MARRIAGE.
DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
THIS IS ALL ABOUT SOMEBODY USING RELIGION BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE
GAY MARRIAGE.
AND BY THE WAY, GAY COUPLES ARE LITERALLY EXERCISING THEIR
CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO TAKE AN OATH OF MARRIAGE, YOU ALLABASTER
MOUNTAIN CATS!
(LAUGHTER) TO TELL US MORE ABOUT THE THIS
GROUP, JOINING ME NOW FROM KENTUCKY ARE THREE
OATHKEEPERS -- TROY HOLZER, TRAVIS HAGSTROM AND TRENT
HALVERSON!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> EVENING, SIR -- IT'S FREEDOM
TIME!
(GUNFIRE) >> Larry: CALM DOWN, GUYS.
NO GUNSHOTS, PLEASE.
OKAY, SO WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU PROVIDING?
>> SAFETY, LARRY.
WE'RE HERE TO PROTECT THE PEOPLE.
>> Larry: WELL, ISN'T THAT THE PURPOSE OF THE POLICE?
>> NO, APPARENTLY THE PURPOSE OF THE POLICE IS TO ARREST KIM
DAVIS FOR DOING NOTHING WRONG.
>> OH, WE'LL FIGHT THE SHERIFF IF WE HAVE TO!
(GUNFIRE) >> Larry: OKAY, GUYS.
STOP IT!
(LAUGHTER) HOW ARE YOU SHOOTING MACHINE
GUNS IN FRONT OF A GOVERNMENT BUILDING WITHOUT GETTING
ARRESTED?
>> WE'RE WHITE -- CAN YOU NOT SEE US? YOU SHOULD TRY IT
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
>> Larry: SO LET ME SEE IF I CAN GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU GUYS ARE AGAINST THE UNLAWFUL DETENTION OF KIM DAVIS,
BUT GAY PEOPLE ARE BEING "UNLAWFULLY DETAINED" FROM
GETTING MARRIED!
>> TWIST THOSE WORDS ALL YOU WANT, HOLLYWOOD!
YOU KNOW WHAT THE ENEMY OF FREEDOM IS?
LAWS!
>> YEAH!
THAT'S HOW COME WE UPHOLD THE CONSTITOOSH!
AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE!
WHOO!
(GUNFIRE) >> Larry: STOP SHOOTING!
LOOK, YOU JUST SEEM LIKE GUYS WHO WANT TO DRESS UP IN
UNIFORMS, SHOW UP AT RALLIES AND JUST FLAUNT YOUR GUNS.
>> UH-HUH.
THAT IT?
NO QUESTION?
>> Larry: YOU'RE NOT EVEN WANTED.
KIM DAVIS' LAWYER SAID SHE REJECTED YOUR OFFER TO BE THERE.
>> SINCE WHEN DO LAWYERS KNOW ABOUT THE LAW?
>> WE'RE OATHKEEPERS, NOT OATH-LISTENERS.
>> FREEDOM AIN'T FREE!
LIGHT 'EM UP!
(GUNFIRE) >> Larry: OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.
THE OATHKEEPERS, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.