What to do if your husband cheats or lies. My name is Coach Adrian, and i am here
to help you stabilize your relationship or your marriage.
Thank you for tuning into HAPPILY COMMITTED. We've started this project to
help people all over the world find happiness and fulfillment in their
relationship and in their marriage. I've helped thousands of women who had to
deal with husbands who cheated and who lied. And if you're watching this video
today, I must tell you that I have a lot of empathy and compassion for what you
are going through. Trust is one of the pillars of a healthy relationship. And if
you're dealing with a man who is cheating or lying to you,
it can bring instability to every aspect of your life. So the first advice that I
have for you is that you must accept your feelings.
Don't try to suppress the pain don't try to just look away and not deal with what
has happened. It is okay for you to be sad, it is okay for you to be hurt, and it
is okay for you to be upset because of what you've gone through and if he or
someone else is telling you otherwise, it is important for you to distance
yourself until you can fully cope and recover. The second advice that I have
for you is that it's important for you not to seek revenge. When we are hurt by
someone we love we often lose control, or we want them to feel the pain that we
are feeling inside. And seeking revenge will never bring you long-term joy,
satisfaction, or stability. You don't want to create more damage and you don't want
someone else's negative actions to impact your character. Stay true to who
you are, to your core beliefs, and to your values. And don't try to hurt him because
he hurt you.
The third piece of advice that I have for you is to keep the kids and the
family out of the fight. It is very, very tempting to ask other people for their
opinion, or to share your pain with other people around you.
And quite honestly, what I've seen is that when you start to involve family
members or friends or your children in your relationship drama, it starts to
take a whole different life of its own. And it's gonna be a lot harder for you
to heal and rebuild it is best for you to deal with this in the appropriate
ways with your partner. It doesn't mean that you cannot communicate to anyone. Of
course, you need to feel supported. But don't bring other people in the drama. Do
so in a constructive way, Reach out to a coach, or to a therapist, or to one close
friend or confidant, so that you can basically share your feelings, but
without backbiting, without trying to denigrate your husband's character. At
the end of the day I've seen many people either blame their husbands continuously
or blame themselves for the cheating. And it's important for you to separate
yourself from the cheating that has occurred. A bad decision does not have to
reflect the character and integrity of this person for life. And you yourself
cannot make or take full responsibility for someone else's shortcomings. And
that's very important for you to really understand, but also accept in a
fundamental deep way.
Finally, it is important to give each other time and space to heal and to
rebuild. It is very difficult to get over cheating instantly, overnight. It takes
time. You must give him the opportunity to regain and to earn your trust. You
must give him the time and the opportunity to earn and to fight for
your trust. It is not your responsibility to fight alone to try to make this
marriage work. He needs to take accountability and he
needs to be invested in trying to rebuild a new and improved relationship
that is going to be based on trustworthiness. And if he's willing to
leave you for this other person, I highly, highly encourage you not to chase, not to
be desperate, and not to compete with this other woman. Otherwise, you will lose
self-respect you will lose your power and your attraction and you will push
them into this other woman's arms
Ultimately, you are in a very, very complicated situation. And quite honestly
it would be a good idea for you to seek help. Work with us. Come check out our
HAPPILY COMMITTED website. We have tons of programs, tools, and resources to help
you feel more empowered and to bounce back after cheating, to help you build
and rebuild the relationship and the marriage you want. Join the movement. And
let us help you find your peace of mind and a new and healthy marriage. If you've
enjoyed this video please like it and subscribe to our channel. We provide
relationship and marriage advice each and every day,
and leave your thoughts leave your comments and your questions. My colleague
coach Natalie and I are quite busy. We coach people on a daily basis all over
the world. But we do our utmost to try to help you to try to be of service and to
reply to your most pressing questions in the comments section of this video. Join
the movement. Create the relationship that you've always wanted. And continue
to fight the good fight.