(gentle music)
(bell ringing)
(gentle music)
- Who was this gorgeous guy in front of me?
- Hi, I'm Carl Blue, I'm a painter.
- His eyes were staring deep into mine,
I could feel my cheeks getting flushed.
I hope he didn't notice.
- Smells like cat food in here.
(gentle music)
So, you wanna use this?
- What was that contraption?
He was introducing me to a whole new world,
and I was ready.
- Hello?
You need caulk or sealant?
- He was still such a mystery to me.
Why was he putting sheets on the floor,
and why did he give me this gift of paint swatches?
He was so complicated.
- My dog sleeps with those things.
So here's the van.
She's a beaut, huh?
- I can't believe he was showing me the inside of his van.
How many other women had he opened up to like this?
I was nervous and excited all at once.
- Why are you biting your lip like that?
Watch out, you'll start bleeding.
You gotta kind of a thick frame, husky,
so you could probably, you handle this.
- [Lauren] He's not finished painting yet?
I don't trust him.
He's dangerous.
- I knew Lauren was just looking out for me,
but I knew Carl cared about me and I felt so safe.
- It's actually great that you can scoop out
the belly lint with this thing.
(gentle music)
If you take a picture, it'll last longer.
- He was so dominating.
I had no choice but to obey.
He wanted me to document our growing relationship.
- Are you really gonna take a picture?
- It was our first photo.
(gentle music)
- All right, here's your bill.
- I didn't want him to go.
I felt a pang in my stomach,
I'd never felt like this about a man before.
The thought of never seeing him again was agonizing.
- I guess I'm just gonna...
Okay, you've not signed it,
you just put your number on here
and then hugs and kisses, okay.
Well for a girl who doesn't talk at all,
you have full on creeped me out.
This has been bizarre.
(gentle music)
- The last remnants of Carl Blue
were still fresh in my mind.
He had changed me, I'll never be the same.
(gentle music)
(upbeat music)
Hi, I'm Selena Gomez, and you're on set of my
Funny or Die sketch.
(upbeat music)
- Hi, I'm Nick Kroll,
and we're shooting a Funny or Die video here.
I got the script for a truly disgusting looking man,
and they cast me for the part.
And here I am.
It's actually great so you can scoop out the belly lint
with this thing.
(upbeat music)
I brought my natural teeth for this.
Smells like cat food in here.
What do you have, you got cats in here?
Is there a place where I can smoke cigars?
Sorry about the pee smell, sometimes I gotta rush.
Sorry I farted.
(upbeat music)