what do you get when you take a random
assortment of different characters put
them all in an old mansion on a dark and
stormy night with a fortune acclaim
throw in some murders a little mystery
and you get 13 dead end to drive so it's
just another one of those murder mystery
games like clue
not exactly include the object of the
game is to find out who's the killer
where they did the killing and what
weapon they used in 13 Dead and drive
the goal is to actually kill everybody
it's a kids game where you actually kill
people
whoa this looks like it's gonna be
complicated how about if we just play
clue this is better than clue you guys
know I'm pretty fond of Candyland
playing 13 dead-end Drive it's a perfect
night it's all thunder in [ __ ] you'll
play Candyland when it's a raging storm
outside got lanterns all set up I did
this all for you guys there's a lot to
set up look at all this rubber bands
clips it even has a separate instruction
manual it's just to put it together this
is gonna take a long time it is if you
don't quit [ __ ] around come on guys
help me out
alright ready to begin here's the plot
the wealthy and Agatha has passed away a
group of people gather around for the
reading of her will such as the
chauffeur the gardener the chef the
doctor even the cat whose aunt is she I
don't know you saying these people can't
all be related who cares
she leaves her inheritance to one of
them we see who it is by removing the
card on the painting then everybody else
tries to kill that person whenever
someone's murdered the inheritance goes
to the next in line let me ask you this
how does aunt Agatha know that people
are gonna die listen men people like
people in advance gonna die yeah like it
like it was even if every person have
like a will Laura yeah okay everybody
has their own will the next person is
yeah yeah how does a cat have its own
will and not the goal is to be the one
to escape while you're the person on the
painting okay you gave me four cards so
basically these four people are mine
yeah keep those cards secret but I
wouldn't kill my own people so these
poor people are working together I guess
you could say that yeah how do you kill
people oh you wanna know with the
bookshelf
the fireplace the steps the statue or
the chandelier let's say the
fortune-teller steps on the trap space
and you draw the right trap card you
spring the trap
that fortune-teller didn't see that
coming why would you intentionally step
on a trap space because you move them
there you move his characters and he can
move yours hang on so you can move
people that aren't yours yeah how do I
move his if I don't know who he has guys
just look at the portrait the character
on the portrait that's who you kill but
that's me
you're not supposed to tell us that so I
want to not be the one on the portrait
no you need to be the one on the
portrait to win then who do I kill the
one on the portrait whoa whoa how do you
win just get to the door while you're on
the portrait how do I get to the door if
I'm on the porch that's the portrait
card well I have that car that's the
character card there's a character on my
card it's the trap card this oh you have
the detective so I'm the detective no
whenever a detective card comes up that
means the detective moves one space who
moves the detective whoever gets the
card so I'm the detective no nobody's
the detective what happens when the
detective gets to the front door you win
who the person on the portrait what if
you get to the door first you win what
if you're not on the portrait then you
kill everybody else be the last to
survive so who's the murderer you but I
have four characters so they're all
killers no no no not the characters you
you you control everybody
this isn't clue it's not a whodunit game
so there's no culprit
everybody dies by accident and I thought
I had bad luck everybody controls
everybody okay it's like we're the gods
of fate we have this little imaginary
world that we're in command of got it as
M makes no sense
and yeah I gotta get out of here oh come
on guys this is a great game what do you
got yeah guys that's something better to
do then thirteen dead and drive the [ __ ]
is going on oh you guys aren't going
anywhere does this what does this relax
it's just a game that's the only way to
do it right it's the old dark house
murder mystery cliche haven't you guys
ever seen house on Haunted Hill oh no
we're trapped right we're all trapped I
guess we're all gonna have to spend the
night here I'll even think that phone
works that the lines are all down
because of the storm
what the hell [ __ ] technology
which guy anyway got a lock and if I'm
getting to the door they know who some
of my characters in the way it's all
about being needed were before your
portraiture hangers otherwise official
by the way I can't move my character
you're do I have the privilege of
killing
there's gotta be a secret passageway
around here somewhere you look over
there I'll look over there
oh [ __ ]
Mike someone tried to kill me did you
see that no I didn't see anything but I
found the other way
oh he looks like an attic hat how do we
get to an attic from the basement this
house doesn't make any sense always in a
different room
yes
the hangman why does James have all this
this guy's in prison right
oh I see you guys came back to finish
the game very well
Oh detectives almost here
ah he got me I'm dead dead dead dead
dead dead
well well next up
whereas a [ __ ] Mike you're under
arrest for the string of murders known
as the hangman killings you did it here
with the rope no like the way the Rope
feels when Ted's around her neck choking
the life at hanging them like a
marionette giving you the puppet masters
surge of power get away from me relax
it's just a game I just want to show you
how the killing was done I just want to
show you how the killing was done that's
all it's just a game it's just it's just
a game
it's just relax I put it front
oh [ __ ] now [ __ ] now I didn't do it
meet the wacky blasters a weird and
finally following antivirus or did you
lighten title Sally
the red dragon called dark fires been
searching the kingdom for you scorching
the land wherever he goes be the first
player to get both your hikers to the
top of the trail and on to lookout point
quiet down
yeah we're trying to sleep