(poppy punk music) ♪ Do you have the time ♪
♪ To make two carpool lines ♪
♪ One pickup is at three and one is at four ♪
♪ Carpool is the worst ♪
♪ And mom likes to be first ♪
♪ Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it ♪
♪ You're waiting for them with some snacks ♪
♪ The line is long, you're in the back ♪
♪ Gas prices going up ♪
♪ Traffic is backing up ♪
♪ You're basically Uber ♪
♪ But don't get paid ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
(upbeat punk music) - P.C., Are you kidding me?
♪ Yeah I heard you cry aloud ♪
♪ 'Cause we are going out of town ♪
♪ And you told your child to pack his suitcase ♪
♪ This what you found ♪
♪ 14 t-shirts, 7 hoodies and no socks ♪
♪ Why does he need hoodies ♪
♪ It's 103 degrees ♪
♪ And he didn't pack a toothbrush ♪
♪ And no pairs of underwear ♪
♪ You've done literally everything ♪
♪ And he had one job ♪
♪ Yeah, your whole family let you down ♪
♪ Because we all pack like clowns ♪
♪ Going outta town ♪
(energetic pop-punk music)
♪ That's the the sound of your kid in the back ♪
♪ He's going to the pantry for some snacks ♪
♪ The crumbs are everywhere in the sofa cracks ♪
♪ You got healthy groceries ♪
♪ He doesn't eat his lunch but he'll eat these ♪
♪ With nacho cheese and empty calories ♪
♪ Mom tried so hard ♪
♪ She made these chicken lettuce wraps ♪
♪ But our kids end up eating just unhealthy crap ♪
♪ On holidays ♪
(gentle punk music)
♪ Summer camps, she tried them all ♪
♪ But sign up it was back in the fall ♪
♪ They fill up when September ends ♪
♪ Yeah you had to sign up a year ago ♪
♪ If he wants to learn Taekwondo ♪
♪ But they fill up when September ends ♪
♪ Looks like you found a camp ♪
♪ But it's way across town ♪
♪ It's in a church parking lot ♪
♪ Across from the fairgrounds ♪
♪ So set a reminder and don't forget ♪
♪ To sign up September 30th ♪
♪ 'Cause they fill up when September ends ♪
♪ Another Saturday you could be with your friends ♪
(emotional punk music)
♪ You're at a tournament it's midnight when it ends ♪
♪ You missed a girlfriends dinner ♪
♪ And you missed a brunch ♪
♪ There's a kid on the other team you want to punch ♪
♪ Your kids are so adorable ♪
♪ They played so well, all right ♪
♪ But right now you have zero social life ♪
♪ Zero social life ♪
- These are always really funny
'cause you always kind of surprises me with what he is doing
but I'm kind of into the eyeliner pen.
I'm kind of bizarrely into this
- Maybe 'cause I look younger
and when I don't have eyeliner, I look like-
- I don't know.
It's like a little bad boy.
Anyway, super into that.
Penn just sang about how I wanna punch
a kid on the other team.
That comes from real place. (Penn laughs)
I get really irrationally angry at children
who participate in youth sports
and just make bad calls or...
I have discovered that about myself
is that I have the potential to become one of those parents
that I'm like, "I know you're eight, but..."
Then I leave.
I don't say anything. - That's true.
- I don't ever actively threaten-
- There was that one time with the referee.
- Well that was a ref, that was an adult.
I've never threatened a child.
And I didn't threaten an adult.
- You're right. You're right.
- I mean the kid should have been kicked out of the game
and they didn't kick him out.
So it was like, "Ref, these are our children!"
I got a little hyper.
Anyway, have a great summer.
(upbeat pop music) ♪ Check out our merch ♪
♪ Check out our book ♪
♪ Check out our blog ♪
♪ It's at theholdernessfamily.com ♪