So, way back in the 90s there was this show called Sabrina, The Teenage Witch
based on of course the Archie comic series of the same name
it was more or less just like a sitcom about witches or whatever
but now with Riverdale being such a huge TV hit for who knows what reason. I mean, come on
you guys watching Season 3, like what the heck is that even about?
Anyway, interest in the Archie comic/Riverdale universe or whatever is at an all time high
so, naturally bringing back Sabrina seems like a no-brainer
about a week ago, Netflix released The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
and y'all know what that means -
lets take a walk.
but before that really quick (ad)
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OK BACK TO THE SHOW
the show starts out with Sabrina giving us a little introductory monologue
"In the town of Greendale where it always feels like Halloween...
there lived a girl who was half-witch half-mortal
who on her 16th birthday would have to choose between two worlds ."
Ah yes, the choice that every young girl must eventually make :
do you go emo, or do you go horsegirl?
so Sabrina's out with her friends, watching some scary movies when she bumps into one of her teachers
at the movie theater.
"Miss Wardwell, we have a tradition of going to the movies and then
to doctor Cerberus' to dissect whatever we just saw."
"Do you wanna join us?"
[laughter] wut...
What 16 year old would ask this?
i mean can you imagine what this would even be like?
you know, i think the zombies are really an allegory for the human struggle to find a place in an
ever-changing world that will inevitably leave us all behind
what d'you think Miss Wardwell?
He left me for 18 year old Starbucks barista, like who even does that?
*serpentine noises*
But anyway, she declines.
now on the way home, Miss Wardwell runs into some girl just walking out the woods by herself
nothing weird about that, right?
"everyone knows about the witch hunt in Salem, but there was one right here in Greendale"
"how do you know so much
about witches?"
"because i teach at the ... school"
"is one of your students named Sabrina?"
"do you know Sabrina?"
"no, but i knew her father"
well that's an awkward moment to hit puberty, now, isn't it?
after this, Miss Wardwell gets stabbed in the neck
which thankfully is still slightly better than hanging out with Sabrina over there, you know what i'm saying
anyways, so the main story going through this whole series is that on her sixteenth birthday
Sabrina will have a - dark baptism
meaning she'll have to leave all her human friends behind and go to - not Hogwarts.
but Sabrina, just like anyone I guess, she likes her school, likes her friends
she knows she's half human, so she kind of feels torn about whether she should or she should not actually go through with it.
but before she can be baptised however, she must first pick a *familiar*
which is basically a spirit that looks like an animal
"Sabrina you need to pick a familiar, before your dark baptism. The Council sent the Registry
Vinegar Tom would happily welcome another dog"
"about that, and seeing I've been practising a summoning spell I found in the demonomicon
and what if I put it out there that I'm looking for a familiar and see if anyone wants to volunteer?"
owkay wait a second
so you're telling me that some 16 year old girl is gonna walk out to the woods, alone and just-
see who wants to hang out? (umm yeah)
let's see here
i found this spell in one of my Ansel spell books, so let's give it a shot
bull jack, horse man, rick and morty only swipe right if you're under 14
wait a second *explosion*
Hi i'm Bob from Accounting
you want some liquorice?
anyways so she goes into the forest and use the witch version of tinder, to see what happens
"spirits of the forest i pronounce my intentions to thee...
come forth and seek me and equal we will be"
*bell rings ominously*
now this forest scene here is a good example of how like i guess the show was filmed with some kind of weird like
anamorphic lens or something.
cause like everything just looks a little off, you know
it feels like everything's a dream or something
at first i thought this was kinda cool, it's like artsy and different but-
by the end of the episode i was like almost seasick
anyway so after this Sabrina's friend Susie gets insulted by a few members of the football team
but she wont tell Sabrina any other names
now Sabrina of course wants to help but the principal of the school's not making things easy
"Susie doesn't feel safe here, in your school. She is living in constant state of fear."
"If that is true then you, as her friend, might suggest to Miss Putnam that she find another school."
so this puts Sabrina in a tough spot.
but i mean, come on Sabrina you got magic. surely there must be something you can do here
just then, Miss Wardwell 2.0 shows up to save the day
"Principal Hawthorne isn't an ally if he were to take a sabbatical say i suspect you and your friends would
come up with some way to help Susie."
"The problem is Hawthorne doesn't take sabbaticals."
"He's scared of spiders, you know."
armed with fascinating new discovery, Sabrina goes off to get help from a cousin, Ambrose.
and together they cast a spell to, as sabrina puts it-
"I don't want to kill Principal Hawthorne. I just need to give him a good scare."
makes sense right? I mean the principal's scared of spiders,you know
just make like a spider drop onto his face or maybe he opens a box of lucky charms and SUPRISE
all the marshmallows are spiders now or something funny like that right?
oh dear
you know i'm pretty sure the principal doesn't need to be specifically scared of spiders for this to work like-
i'm not scared of spiders, but i'm scared of a million spiders. okay?
crawling in my mouth and all kinds of weird places
like literally anyone would react the same exact way in any context.
anyway so after this is all over, Sabrina goes to her bedroom and hears someone inside
"sabrina..."
"who are you?"
"show yourself"
"i heard you calling in the woods"
see now it's like i always say, ok, never trust a profile picture you know like everyone has those dog
and cat filters on their face and everyone just miraculously loves hiking?
which really just means "I own a pair of Timberland boots"
so you think you found a good one you know what's on the up and you invite them over to hang out and then-
*BAM* spooky shadow monster
happens every time
but then it just turns into a cute little cat and now we all forget about the slender man thing we just saw.
now throughout the episodes Sabrina keeps going back and forth about whether she does or does not wanna
actually become a witch
especially now that she's worried about her friend Susie and the football players, she's got her other friends, she's
got her boyfriend, like-
it's a tough spot
so Ambrose advises her to eat an apple from an old tree
which i mean like obviously *laugh* what else you're gonna do, Sabrina? come on
Sabrina does this and has a really creepy vision
she goes home to talk to her aunts and before she can say or do anything, "this" happens
"This is our niece Sabrina."
"Your aunts tell me you're having doubts about your baptism
that you may in fact not be signing your name in the Book of the Beast"
"uhh..''
"let us see what i can do to convince you"
ohhhh what's gonna happen to Sabrina?
is she gonna become a witch? or is she gonna choose friendship and love?
i guess we'll just have to watch the whole show to find out
you know watching just this first episode like, i feel like they kind of made the show about the wrong character
i get that it's aimed at the younger crowd, you know, they're trying to peel off some of that RIverdale audience
or whatever like, i get it
but i just want a whole show about Ambrose cause almost every other character i've met so far
is just kind of annoying.
i mean sure, it's just the first episode obviously as the show goes on, things might change like
sure
okay
but it kind of just feels like i'm watching Goosebumps, you know
i do have to say though, just like with Riverdale, the costumes and set design and just kinda the
overall like aesthetic or whatever, it's really well done, like this is a very pretty show.
and to be fair it's interesting enough that of course i'll keep watching like you know, but, i guess we'll see
hey everybody, thanks for watching. so, of course we have a new Sabrina shirt in the store
link is down below in the description. so, looks good to you, or you just wanna support the channel or both?
you know, i don't know whatever, it's there for ya.
you know, starting to watch the new Sabrina show, it's like
it's better than i thought it was gonna be
i wouldn't say it's like great or anything, but i mean it's miles better than what Riverdale is now, that's for sure
but it's just not quite what i expected to be, which is fine, like you know i'm still gonna watch it obviously
but it's like, starting to watch it like it kind of has the same thing that Insatiable had going on where its like
sometimes it's like really kind of like
not kiddy but it's really like
joke-y humor and then all of a sudden it's like super dark and mature and you're just like "how do I...
how do i balance these two things in my mind?" you know
it's definitely not a bad show
you know, i'm just starting out on it. i barely have time to watch anything except what i'm making a video on,
but um I'm gonna watch it all the way through. I'm gonna do a video about the whole show when I wrap it up
or whatever, you know. Like I said, I think it's fine, it seems good. it's a little weird sometimes. i'm just like-
"wha.." like "wut's that thing?"
and like I said, even though it's the first episode, almost all the characters to me are kind of annoying at least
right now, like i don't know them that well because it's only been like one episode or whatever
but you know, Ambrose is just like really cool. like, i want to know what's his deal, what's the whole story with that
like, what... just everything. I want a whole show just about Ambrose.
and like, then you know the main character Sabrina, even just in the first episode like, she's just so...
i don't know, like she's like obnoxiously righteous. i don't know if that makes sense, but like
i don't know, she's a 16 year old girl with magic powers but like, she's just so like, it's hard to explain
but she's just like so weird about it to me
i have to watch the whole show to really get my thoughts together but it's just so far, i don't really like
any of the characters very much, except Ambrose, so we'll see how that goes
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