The power of saying NO! Stick around to the end of this video, as I'll reveal excellent
reasons that make saying NO just so powerful! Welcome to The SCG Show! This video is
officially sponsored by BetterHelp! Get 10% off your first month in the description down below!
Through my therapist I learned about the "Personal Bill of Rights." What is that? Well it's the idea
that we all have rights as human beings... sometimes we either forget or we don't realize that we have
these rights because probably we were not taught them as children growing up, and unsurprisingly in
that long list of rights, are the rights to say no to several things and under certain
circumstances. For example "I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't meet.... I also have
the right to say no to anything when I feel I'm not ready or it's unsafe." We forget we have rights,
and the rights to never succumb to unnecessary stress, pressure, drama or unrealistic demands or
standards set by other people. But why do we forget? Well we can easily become manipulated by toxic
domineering people over time, as they chip away... we become more submissive. For example if you've got
a very controlling difficult person, you're less likely to say no to them over time, as you fear how
they're going to react and respond... which is never pleasant. Personally I had very good parents but
they did encourage me and push me to be a people pleaser They'd say "never say no to people... always
be on your best behavior... make sure people like you... you want to be included and never left out..."
Granted I worked tirelessly to be the teacher's pet, liked by all the kids at my school, and
everyone in the famil.y I had no idea how to say no, it wasn't in my vocabulary as a child
and growing up. I needed that powerful word more than ever! So please say no, and say no more often!
There is enormous power in saying no, especially in a modern age where narcissism and toxic people are
more entitled selfish, and take more advantage of good-natured people like yourself than ever before!
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You and only you are solely responsible for your own boundaries.... no one else like your
parents, friends... nobody! You are the captain of your fate, the master of your destiny. That wall you put
up it's really on you... meaning by saying no and learning the power behind it, you could be the one
to determine what you will and won't tolerate. Now personal boundaries are simply the lines and walls
we draw up for ourselves, in terms of the level of comfort around other people...if you're not careful
trust me on this, people will use and abuse your personal boundaries as often as possible! You'll
be like a doormat and people will walk all over you all the time. My late father although
assertive when he needed to be, was in extreme circumstances a person who could not say no.
In his office he had "an open door policy" even when he was working hard or in a meeting, anyone
from members of staff, family members, people off the street, would drop in and speak to him and
he'd help them and advise them, anything! "I'm here to help" that was his motto, but sadly he got used
and abused by many people... people who lied to him... people with fake sob stories of hardship and
suffering... who just wanted to waste his time and their own time. As he was getting older you could
see the more stressed he became, and in one day and alone he got no work done at all for himself,
because he was bombarded by people coming in one after another asking for help, his time. assistance.
After he died these same people thought they could treat myself the same way, but I said no. I
valued my boundaries and am solely responsible for them... as a result these people scattered elsewhere
to see who else they could frustrate, take advantage of, get some money, a free meal whatever.
That is the power of saying no, you are responsible for your own walls and boundaries you put up.
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If you asked anyone who's a people pleaser or someone desperately
insecure for the validation of anyone and everyone they'll tell you the following =
"Saying no is not in my DNA... I just can't say no I wish I could say no... I'm too afraid to say no...
If I say no I'll get bullied..." I've learned as I've gotten older the more you say no, and the more
you face the fear and anxiety head on... the more confident you become... more assertive you'll be, not
aggressive and by facing the fear you'll naturally apply it to your vocabulary and way of life.
In 2019 I said no to a gambling addiction. I was addicted for 14 years, and with that I made a
solemn vow to never gamble again, but by doing so I also said no to casinos begging me to come back,
friends as well, to all the events I was subscribed to. They were like brothers to me these people and
they said "if you say no to gambling, you say no to us!" I did, and as a result I've been clean and sober
and it's changed my life for good. I said no to a narcissist who I was in a toxic relationship with.
For years we dated, which was draining, exhausting and miserable, and by doing so I had the courage
strength and wisdom to walk away for good... saving my life and future. "If you say no to me" she said
"you never loved me!" I did and like I said it, was one of the best decisions of my entire life.
It doesn't matter who you say no to, or what your reasoning is behind it... it's all about
facing the fear... you have most likely been raised like I was to believe saying no is
almost like an illegal act or breaking the law. No some people don't deserve to
get their way, and you should never feel guilty or anxious for standing up for yourself at all!
Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video. I've personally used BetterHelp and found it to
be so effective for turning my life around for the better. BetterHelp is therapy online which offers
weekly sessions via phone video and live chat. You get matched with a therapist according to where you
are, what you're looking for and what you need help with, and if it's not a great fit you can
switch therapists easily! Therapy is a great way to take care of ourselves mentally just
like we try to do so physically through diet and exercise. Online therapy can teach you valuable
life coping skills and can support you amazingly when tough times occur. Click the link below or
visit betterhelp.com/scgshow for 10% off your first month of online therapy today!
Go ahead and take that first step to turning your life around with BetterHelp!
The power of saying no highlights the fact that you truly value your life.
As I've already mentioned. people will if you're not careful take advantage of you/
Sandra was a yes girl to everyone in her life, her toxic parents, toxic friends and her toxic partner.
No matter where she was, what she was doing, she would have to succumb to the gaslighting
manipulation and pressure of those people... her parents would insist "come and pick us up from
the airport, I know you're busy and working but we're your parents, you need to put us first!"
Her friends would say "we're going to this place, we want you to drive us because you don't like
to drink! Don't be boring and hurt us and turn us down!" Her partner would insist "I want you to
cook and clean around the house, because you do a better job than I would! Why should I even bother?!"
Sandra just couldn't say no, she had to please others, she had to do what was asked... she was like a
slave to these outrageous demands, these outrageous standards, and with that she stopped valuing the
most important thing to her = her life. Her mental health went downhill, her health struggled too,
With that finally after snapping of years of abuse and manipulation, one by one she instilled healthy
boundaries. "No!" said Sandra no to everyone and everything in her life. "I'm going to put myself
first, I only have one life" she said and she was right. She walked away from that partner,
she made new friends and kept her parents at arm's length. The same applies to you. You have one life
Say no because you value your one life... I mean you do value your life, don't you?
Let me reveal a clear misconception = Years ago when I first started saying no more often, I
remember thinking the following to myself. I said "I guess this makes me so selfish and nasty as
a person saying no all the time." No well that was actually a clear and obvious misconception, because
truthfully saying no does not make you evil...it doesn't make you bad, toxic, negative or selfish...
It is not illegal to say no to people, it is not against the law to say no to your parents, the
world is not going to come to a halt or fall apart because you've said no either...
Guess what - life moves on! People eventually move on.... just things will be different now
And if you're the one saying no it's for the better.... eliminate the doubt, the guilt and of
course the insecurity attached to you saying no, and recognize and realize that in some cases like
mine gambling for example it really is the only option. So please stop feeling bad about yourself,
stop acting and thinking so harshly and critical of yourself, and learn to please say no because
ultimately it is one of the most powerful things you need to do to survive in the modern world!