- Hey, this is Matt Boggs, and today we're gonna talk about
why you are intimidating to men.
You're the woman who, men have probably told you
that they're intimidated by you,
you're the women where, your friends
or your family are saying
"the reason why you haven't met that special someone
is because you're too intimidating to men,"
and rightfully so, right?
You're the woman who, you own your own business,
you're smart, you've got the degree,
you've made your own money, you own your own place,
like you are a badass, you are smart, intelligent,
beautiful, fit, right, you've got it going on,
and you are, hell no, you are not gonna water yourself down
just to make some dude feel better about himself, right?
Nor should you, actually, water yourself down,
and, I'm gonna challenge you in this video,
this video might be a little bit in your face,
because here's what I'm gonna challenge you with:
is the concept of intimidating.
What if there was no intimidation?
What if there was really, only validation seeking,
and/or judgment, because here's often
what happens for people,
when people say, "oh, you're intimidating,"
it's often the dynamic that works like this:
is the woman is actually seeking validation on the date,
so she will show up on that date,
and puff herself up and talk about how badass she is,
talk about the business that she runs,
talk about how smart she is,
she'll want to do the things for herself,
and push the man, people who are intimidating,
what they do is push other people down,
to make themselves feel better,
so there's a high-low dynamic in that situation,
or, someone ends up criticizing someone else
or judging someone else, and we all know on dates
you're assessing whether or not
they're gonna be a great fit for you as a life partner,
but that's different than judging the other person,
so you're either validation seeking,
or you're closed and judgemental,
so if someone's asking you
or telling you that you're intimidating,
ask yourself "hmm, am I seeking validation,
or am I judgemental and a little bit closed off?"
Because here's what I've come to find over the years,
is that the people who are the most successful
on this planet, the people who have reached
the highest levels of business,
the highest levels of their industry,
they're actually not intimidating,
that when you hang out with these people,
they have a unique ability to lift everybody else up,
that when people leave the presence of someone
who is ultra successful, and in all areas of their life,
that people feel better just by being around that person.
Let me give you an example of this,
when I was in my mid-twenties, I had the great privilege
of meeting his holiness, the Dalai Lama,
and it was small group of us, twenty of us,
who were gonna meet the Dalai Lama,
he was gonna greet each of us individually,
and then we were gonna have a question
and answer period with him, and so as we're getting ready
for this meeting, they're telling us,
I was Italy, at the Pope's summer palace,
and they're giving us instructions of,
you know, what it's gonna be like,
and how there was a ceremonial process
with how he was going to greet each of us,
and I can feel my heart is pounding,
my palms were all sweaty,
spirituality is a deep passion of mine,
I work on that in myself,
and here I am meeting one of the most spiritual people
on the planet and so I'm super nervous,
and my paradigm starts to fire,
and says, "dude, who are you to meet the Dalai Lama?
You shouldn't be the one meeting the Dalai Lama,
there are way more people
who are way more qualified than you,
to be meeting the Dalai Lama in this moment,"
and so I'm starting to feel like unworthy,
and full of doubt, and right then the doors opened up,
the Dalai Lama's entourage comes in,
followed by the Dalai Lama, and he went down the line
and greeted each and every one of us,
and my heart's pounding, my palms are sweating,
and as he comes to me, the most amazing thing happens:
he looked in my eyes and all of my anxiety,
feelings of inferiority, feelings of unworthiness,
just melted away, and I could see
the compassion in his eyes, I could see the joy
and the love in his eyes,
and he was greeting me as an equal,
he was greeting me as a child of God,
he was greeting me, was like his soul
was acknowledging my soul in that moment,
and I was filled with love and joy in that moment,
it was an extraordinary experience,
and this man greeted each and every one of us
and was fully present in that moment.
Now, imagine how busy this man is,
and yet he made each one of us
feel like we were the most important person
on the planet in that moment.
It was a transcendent experience
and what it helped me realize
is that those who are really successful lift others up,
those who are really successful,
and have really nothing to prove,
help other people feel more valuable,
and so I challenge you, if you're the woman,
where you're told you're intimidating,
I challenge you to be more open when you're on your dates,
and I challenge you to leave the other person
feeling better than they did before they met you,
leave them lifted up, leave them inspired,
whether or not you want to date them or not,
see them as a child of God, see them as an amazing soul,
fill them with love when you're in their presence,
and leave them better than before they met you,
and you'll notice that your friendships will increase,
you'll notice that your connections will deepen,
you'll notice that you will actually increase
the love in your life on all levels,
and I would love to hear from you,
what question do you have,
that if you had the answer to that,
it would help you increase the love in your life,
it would help you move forward?
Go ahead and post that in the comments section below,
and if you're not subscribed to this channel,
take a moment, click that little subscribe button,
and hit the bell so that you get the alerts
because this is an amazing community,
dedicated to increasing the love in your life
and helping you live your very best life.
Thanks so much for watching, I'll see you soon.
(upbeat music)