Can we talk about something?
What is the deal with clowns why the heck are they so scary.
Like who decided that Alright let's make a list about clowns that sounds like fun.
You know what’s even scarier than clowns?
Not hitting that subscribe button and turning on the notifications as well.
10.)
Stitches
Stitches starts out as your everyday run of the mill dirt bag birthday clown.
He doesn't seem to believe in the fraternity of clowns that he has sworn into and treats
his job as kind of a slog.
After arriving late to a kids birthday party he attempts to entertain the kids but they
choose to ridicule him instead playing pranks on him like tying his shoelaces together and
throwing footballs at him.
The pranks go a little far as stitches trips and falls into a dishwasher and drives a knife
into his face.
He attempts to get the children but dies from his wounds.
But this is not the end of stitches the clown of no.
Shortly after the his death one of the kids from the birthday party sees a group of clowns
performing some sort of ritual at stitches grave.
The clowns notice the kid and chase him away.
6 years pass and and Tommy the kid whose birthday party stitches died at is having another party.
Well they get an uninvited guest in the form of stitches the clown.
Newly resurrected and with otherworldly powers the clown proceeds to stalk the kids that
were at the birthday party which caused his death.
In the end stitches and tommy have a showdown which ironically involves tying stitches shoelaces
together again and tripping him forcing him to smash the magic egg which had brought him
back to life.
Tommy escapes and 6 months pass when we see that the leader of the clowns known as the
motley; is trying to reassemble stitches egg so that way he can come back once more and
get a second chance at revenge.
09.)
Jack Attack and Der Klown
The demonic toys franchise is one of those guilty pleasure horror movies.
You know the ones where they are made on a shoestring budget with questionable actors
and effects.
Basically anything from 1985-1995 when horror was in its down turn and you would only find
new horror movies as direct to video releases at a blockbuster.
Well long story short demonic toys is one of those.
It is akin to the puppet master movies as a group of tiny toy creatures kill people
as they work towards a nefarious goal.
In this case to resurrect their demonic overlord and rule the world.
There are plethora of toys including a foul mouthed baby doll, a carnivorous teddy bear
and a truly terrifying jack in the box named jack attack.
Jack attack has the head of a clown and the body of a jack in the box and is equipped
with razor sharp teeth.
He primarily attacks people as they get lulled in by his jack in the box song and pounces
to shred them to the bone.
He is a tiny but deadly monster who is not to be taken lightly.
Now his cousin from the movie Krampus der clown operates the same way but if much much
larger.
Der clown is a traditional german clown jack in the box.
But what makes this guy terrifying is that he can unhinge his jaw and swallow a person
whole.
In fact der klown swallows multiple people whole and they can be heard screaming for
help as he jingles and jangles his way around looking for more victims.
The jack in the box has allows been just an unnerving toy and after seeing these 2 clown
who live in jack in the boxes it is safe to say no one should ever go near one of those
things again.
08.)
Killjoy
Killjoy is the titular clown from the film of the same name.
He is a demon of revenge who can be summoned through a ritual to hunt down those who have
wronged the summoner.
But like in every case when someone tries to bring a demon to earth to help them achieve
something.
They get a little bit more than they bargained for and Killjoy goes on a rampage killing
any and everyone around them.
In the the film a boy named michael who is involved in black magic attempts to summon
killjoy into a clown doll he owns so that he can use killjoy to kill a group of gangsters
who have taken the girl michael has a crush on -video cut -
The plan backfires and michael is killed by the gangsters and killjoy does not appear.
A year later Jada the girl michael loved is confronted by a homeless angel informing her
that michael was killed and his soul is what has become killjoy.
Jada decides to free michaels soul and go on the hunt for killjoy.
Eventually she stabs the clown to death only to be horror movie swerved when it is revealed
she has to kill the doll that killjoy is connected to.
So she goes out and finds the doll and kills it freeing michaels soul.
Everything returns to normal and we are treated to a classic horror movie hook ending where
her boyfriend turns into killjoy with no explanation allowing the terrifying evil clown another
chance to take life to his clowny hearts content.
07.)
Twisty the Clown AHS
Twisty the clown may be the most disgusting looking clown on this list.
Just gross looking.
As one of the favorite characters in American Horror Story Freak Show Twisty immediately
struck a chord with viewers.
His attire is that of a 40-50s era clown covered in dirt and mold.
He makeup is runny and poorly placed.
He wears a giant smile mask covering the lower half of his face.
The background to twisty is a sad as he is terrifying.
When he was born he was dropped on his head causing a minor mental impairment.
This would keep him close to home and working for his alcoholic mother at jupiter novelties.
In 1943 he decides he doesn't want this life and goes off to be a clown.
He is so good at his job that the freaks in the freak show get jealous and start a rumor
that he is a child molester effectively ruining him as a clown.
He returns to his family business dejected and defeated to find his mother has died and
that no one wants to buy things from a child molester.
This sends twisty into a depressive state where he tries to kill himself blowing off
his lower jaw and surviving.
After which he decides he will make kids love him again by protecting them from their evil
parents.
Twisty would later go from being a murderous clown to an evil freak show spirit haunting
seasons of American Horror Story to this most current cult season.
Twisty’s horror is a combination of his gruesome visage, sad story, and potential
for a real life occurrence.
06.)
Kent Mccoy - Clown
Before Spider-man homecoming Director Jon Watts made a horror movie which was spawned
out of a fake trailer.
That movie is Clown.
The conceit of clown is that Ken Mccoy's son is having a birthday party and they have a
clown cancel on them at the last minute.
Unsure as what he can do to make it right for his son’s party Kent goes into the attic
and fortuitously finds a clown costume in the attic.
He puts it on and gives an amazing performance for his son and the guests at the birthday
party.
Here is where it gets interesting.
Kent can’t take the clown makeup and costume off.
They are fused to him like a parasite.
He attempts many things to remove the costume up to and including self mutilation but cutting
his red nose off.
It is revealed to him that this is not a clown costume but the skin and hair of a demon who
in the past would murder and eat a child for every month of winter and that the demons
could not be killed but subdued and would leave the skin and hair behind waiting for
some unfortunate soul to put it on.
As the film runs Kent becomes less Kent and more demon clown killing and eating children
and attempting to do so to his own son.
In the end Kent’s wife meg saves their son jack and their unborn child from demon clown
kent and smashes his head in with a hammer.
With the demon and kent now dead the skin and hair come off of him waiting to be worn
by another.
05.)
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
This is a film that is near and dear to my heart.
It is one of the best drive in b-movies of all time.
The makeup and costumes are phenomenal and the story is as excellent as it is outlandish.
Basically space aliens land on earth in a small town and their flying saucer when landed
looks like a big top circus.
Also all the aliens look like clowns but grotesque ones.
These clowns are also cannibals who take humans and trap them inside giant cotton candy cocoons
and drink their blood with giant novelty twisty straws.
Yeah it's friggin bonkers.
But there are some genuine scare moments.
Like when one of the clowns get arrested and off screen kills everyone in the police station
and decides to puppeteer the chief of police.
Or when a group of people at a bus stop are watching one of the clowns do shadow puppets
but eventually the shadow puppet turns into a t-rex and eats all of the people at the
bus stop.
Killer klowns is a gem and if you haven't seen it we wouldn't even be mad if you left
the list half way to go watch it.
Its seriously that good.
In the end we have our heroes prevail by taking out the leader of the alien clowns and destroying
their mother ship.
The end shot of the film hints that maybe a couple clowns survived as our heroes are
all hit in the faces with cream pies as the movies amazing theme song plays.
04.)
The Clowns from the movie Clown House
Clown house is a bizarre horror film from the dude who made jeepers creepers.
Well before he made jeepers creepers.
The film is about a kid who has a fear of clowns being taken to a circus by his jerk
older brothers.
One of which is played by Sam Rockwell in his film debut.
Also at this circus are some mental asylum inmates that are there for some relaxation.
You know like you do for dangerous mentally unstable people.
Well a 3 of the inmates kill 3 clowns and dress up as them and target the boys at their
home.
The 3 clowns terrorize the 3 boys and cut the power to their home.
Now while this setup of a killer trying to get into someones house and hurt them is pretty
common fare for an 80s movie.
The way this film was shot allows for maximum creepy clown action as the killer clowns slink
around the house is total darkness and in some scenes complete silence.
The thought that one of the clowns may be right around the corner at anytime creates
a sense of tension that keeps the characters and the viewers on their seats throughout
the second and third acts of the film.
As the film closes the boys kill the 3 imposter clowns and the film fades to black reminding
the viewers that a person's fears are always with them.
Even when they are hiding.
03.)
Pogo the Clown - John Wayne Gacy
This one is truly terrifying as John Wayne Gacy was a real life serial Killer.
He dressed up as Pogo the clown for charity events and used the clown as part of scouting
tactic for picking out targets that he would then lure to his home.
Where he would assault and murder them.
Over the course of his serial killing spree he would abduct and murder 33 people.
He was arrested and sentenced to death on march 13th 1980 but would sit on death row
for 14 years before being executed via lethal injection.
Gacy was quoted as saying that playing pogo the clown allowed him to regress back to childhood.
Gacy was a vile man and his Clown persona Pogo will forever be one of the most frightening
clowns in history
02.)
Clown doll from Poltergeist
Ask anyone who grew up in the 80s what their scariest movie memory is.
Your odds on favorite would have to be the clown sequence in poltergeist.
In poltergeist a family moves into a new home after their father gets a promotion at work.
Over time some weird occurences of the supernatural variety happen and the family gets spooked.
In the beginning they are just odd things happening and nothing malicious.
But as time goes on the spirits aget angry and being to attack the freeling family.
This is where the clown comes in the freelings son robbie and youngest daughter carolann
are going to sleep and robbie is visibly shaken by the things happening in their house.
As he lays in his bed his giant harlequin clown doll is propped up in a chair staring
at him as he lays down.
Robbie proceeds to at the clown to make sure it is inanimate.
After he is confident nothing will happen he lays down.
He closes his eyes and attempts to sleep when he hears footsteps.
He rapidly sits up and in the background of the shot we see the chair is empty and robbie
comes to the realization that the clown is not there.
It is one of the great Oh crap moments in film history.
He goes to check under his bed on both sides and sees nothing.
When he comes back up on to his bed the clown is behind him and proceeds to attack him.
Robbie eventually gets the better of the clown as the spirits depart.
But for a few moments a simple clown doll is one of the scariest things in the entire
world.
01.)
The Joker - Batman
The scariest clown of all time is the one and only clown prince of crime.
The joker has done some many heinous and evil things to so many people that he has to be
at the top of the list.
Now while not a supernatural demon clown or a reincarnated spirit.
Mr.J has them all beat with his unbridled insanity and will to hurt people in ways that
no one has ever dreamed.
Remember now this is the guy who beat the Jason Todd Robin to within an inch of death
with a crowbar because he thought batman was taking to long to find him.
He then proceeds to blow him up because batman took to long.
He will do unspeakable things for the slightest reasons.
We could go on and on about the people he has killed.
But lets look at the film version of the Joker from 2008’s Dark Knight.
As an agent of Chaos the Joker plays with people's lives subverting who they are purely
for a laugh and because why not.
This is a truly the most terrifying aspect of the joker.
Why not.
Why not ruin someone's life it just life.
When alfred delivers the statement - video cut - we get a glimpse of a truly deranged
individual who would do anything to anyone at anytime and that is truly and deeply horrifying.
Whew we made it to the end.
Who did you think was the most terrifying clown?
Is there someone we missed?
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