If you’re trying to repair a long distance relationship, then this video is for you,
because I’m going to talk about how to win back your ex when he or she lives hundreds
or even thousands of miles away.
I’m Brad Browning, relationship coach and author of The Ex Factor, a guide to getting
your ex back.
If you’d like to see more of my free videos or get in touch with me directly, please visit
my website at www.BreakupBrad.com.
OK, now, let’s talk about how to get your long-distance ex back….
The first thing you need to understand is that being hundreds of miles away from your
ex complicates things quite a bit compared to a ‘normal’ situation.
Yes, you can still get him or her back, and I’ve worked with hundreds of clients in
long-distance relationships that have successfully won back their ex…. but it’s usually easier
if you live in the same city, so keep in mind that, depending on the details of your specific
situation, you may have a difficult road ahead.
But, I don’t want to discourage you, because there are some things you can do in long-distance
scenarios to help your cause.
In this video, by the way, I’m only going to talk about long-distance relationships….
if you haven’t already, you should still consider watching my other videos -- especially
the free full-length video presentation on my website -- to get details on the general
principles and strategies you should be using to win back an ex.
Now, where to begin will depend on how long its been since your breakup and how serious
your relationship was.
If it’s only been a few days or maybe a couple of weeks since the breakup, the first
step is to go through a period of “no contact”.
This means completely ignoring your ex for around a month or so.
The point of this is to show your ex that you’re moving on, you’re not going to
wait around and hope that your ex changes his or her mind, and hopefully make your ex
think that there’s tons of other people eager to take your ex’s place at your side.
Remember that, no matter how badly you want to reach out to your ex and tell them how
you feel and beg for another chance, there simply aren’t any words that can change
your ex’s mind… especially if they live hundreds of miles away.
Attraction and romantic bonds are organic, natural things…
you can’t make your ex fall back in love with you using words, it has to happen on
its own.
During the no contact period -- and even after that, once you begin to talk with your ex
again -- you should be using social media, mutual friends, and any other means at your
disposal to subtly convey messages to your ex.
For example, since you want your ex to think your life is great and you’re already recovered
from the breakup, you might consider posting some photos of you and some friends (preferably
friends of the opposite sex) on Facebook.
Or, chat up a mutual friend and casually mention that you’ve been dating a few other people
and that you’re really enjoying the single life.
Don’t make this attempt to incite jealousy or convey a message to your ex obvious…
it needs to be subtle.
But it’s definitely important to let your ex know, subtly, how awesome your life is
and how quickly you’re moving on.
When it’s time to start talking to your ex again, I recommend beginning with a really
casual, fun, and brief message (either text message, Facebook message, Skype message,
even an email).
In my Ex Factor Guide program, I’ve included a ton of examples of messages you can send
to your ex to get him or her thinking about….
so if you’re struggling to think of what to write your long-distance ex, you might
find the program helpful…
you can sign up at my website, BreakupBrad.com.
Whatever you decide to say in your first message, keep it really short (no more than a few sentences)
and make sure it’s fun, upbeat, and interesting….
try to be funny, reference and inside joke, or something like that.
Don’t try to bring up anything serious, don’t start any drama, and absolutely DO
NOT say pointless and uninteresting things like “hey how are you” or “how’s life
these days”....
you want to get your ex to remember how much fun life was when you were there to talk to
them every day, and hopefully get a reply.
That’s all you want from this first communication with your ex after the period of no contact.
You’ll probably need to do this a few times over the course of a month or so, making sure
that you keep the conversations funny and interesting.
Depending on how your ex responds and how things go from there, it will hopefully eventually
lead to some curiosity and interest on your ex’s part, and help him or her let go of
some negative memories and forget the reasons they decided to break up with you.
When you’ve done all this, the time will eventually come to either meet your ex in
person, or arrange a Skype call or Facetime meeting online with them.
In-person is way better, but you should only EVER visit your ex’s hometown if you have
a legitimate excuse for being there… if your ex lives on the other side of the world
and you don’t know anyone else in the area, then it will be way too obvious that you’re
just trying to get back together.
That’s not what you want, so it’s always best to think of a legitimate excuse for being
“in the area”, which will allow you to invite your ex out for coffee to “catch
up” while you’re in town.
If you have to use Skype or an online web chat instead, then the same principles apply,
but it’s going to be a lot more difficult.
Keep your meet short and sweet.
Make sure you’re friendly, upbeat, and positive about your life.
Nobody wants to get back together with a person who is depressed or unhappy, so make sure
that you have a good job and things are looking up (at least portray this to them).
Ask how their life is going, but make it seem like there is nothing wrong in your life at
the moment.
You also need to add a little bit of a sexual
element to it.
No, don’t try and have sex with your ex... if the opportunity presents itself, then you
may want to do so as physical romance is important, but it’s unlikely you’re at that point
yet.
However, you’ll want to flirt a lot with your ex.
Hold eye contact for a little bit longer.
Touch them a lot in a playful, flirtatious way.
Talk about sexy things and maybe drop a ‘naughty’ inside joke or innuendo.
If they’re being receptive to this, then really push it, but make it seem fun and do
it almost in a joking way.
Remember, you don’t want to be talking about the problems you’ve had in your relationship
in the past.
Talk about the NOW and talk about the FUTURE, nothing else.
At the end of the day, you need to start building attraction again.
After all, this is the essence and the backbone of relationships.
So when you’re with your ex again, everything that you do must be focused on creating sexual
attraction with him or her.
That’s why in-person meetings with your ex will always be a lot better than online
chats or phone calls.
But, however you end up talking with your ex, remember that building attraction is the
key to getting them to want you back… and you don’t build attraction by talking about
the past or bringing up old drama.
Attraction develops naturally when you’re having fun and you have good chemistry, so
that’s the goal of all encounters with your ex.
What you do at this point will really depend on how the in-person meeting went, what your
ex’s current status is, and how easy it will be for you and your ex to rekindle things.
If you want to talk about your specific situation, please visit my website at www.BreakupBrad.com
where you can find my contact information and send me an email… or use the comments
below to ask a question and I’ll do my best to respond.
I really do urge you to try and stay realistic through
all of this… no long-distance relationship can survive indefinitely; there needs to be
a light at the end of the tunnel where you and your partner will live together and be
together every day.
And keep in mind that it’s a lot more appealing for your ex to get back together with you
if you’re only an hour-long drive away… if an ocean and thousands of miles separate
the two of you, then your ex probably won’t be eager to start over again knowing the same
issues will continue to plague your relationship.
That’s it for now….
I know there are many things I wasn’t able to cover in this video, so please get in touch
with me to chat further.
You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel for more videos like this one.
Please also consider clicking the like button if you found this video helpful, I really
appreciate it.
So thanks again for watching, and best of luck!
See you next time.
If you and your long-distance partner have broken up, things may seem fairly hopeless.
You may be running out of ideas, and wondering if it's even going to be possible to win him
or her back and remove that "ex" tag from their status.
Granted, in some cases, it may be best to focus on moving on... but there are a few
things you can do to increase your odds of rekindling the romance and winning your ex
back, even when they live hundreds of miles away.
First off, there's one very important thing you need to understand: you can't convince
your ex to take you back.
I know that you my desperately want to reach out to your ex and tell them how much you
still love them, and you may be tempted to beg for another chance... but trust me, there
simply aren’t any words that can change your ex’s mind.
That's especially true if they live hundreds of miles away.
Relationships and romantic attraction are natural, organic things…
you can’t make your ex fall back in love with you using words, it has to happen on
its own.
So no matter how badly you may want to call and say sorry or tell your ex how much you
miss them, that won't help your cause.
Where to begin the process of getting your long-distance girlfriend/boyfriend back will
depend on two things: how long its been since your breakup; and
how serious your relationship was.
If it’s only been a few days or maybe a couple of weeks since the breakup, the first
step is to go through a period of “no contact”.
This means completely ignoring your ex for around a month or so.
The point of this is to show your ex that you’re moving on, that you’re not going
to wait around and hope that your ex changes his or her mind, making it appear as though
there’s tons of other people eager to take their place at your side.
During the "no contact" period -- and even after that, once you begin to talk with your
ex again -- you should be using social media, mutual friends, and any other means at your
disposal to subtly convey messages to your ex.
For example, since you want your ex to think your life is great and you’re already recovered
from the breakup, you might consider posting some photos of you and some friends (preferably
friends of the opposite sex) on Facebook.
Or, chat up a mutual friend and casually mention that you’ve been dating a few other people
and that you’re really enjoying the single life.
Don’t make this attempt to incite jealousy or convey a message to your ex obvious…
it needs to be subtle.
But it’s definitely important to let your ex know, in an "under the radar" manner, how
great your life has been since the breakup, and how quickly you’re moving on.
When it’s time to start talking to your ex again, I recommend beginning with a really
fun, positive, and brief message (a text message, social media message, Skype message... even
an email is OK).
Keep it really short (no more than a few sentences) and make sure it’s fun, upbeat, and interesting….
Whatever you decide to say in your message to be funny, reference and inside joke, or
something like that.
Don’t try to bring up anything serious, don’t start any drama, and don't say something
dull and meaningless like "hey, what's up?"