(Music. LOGO)
Hellooo, everybody!
Tomorrow’s Valentine's Day, which means today we're talking about sex.
'Cuz why not? Sex scenes are very common in fiction. They're also the bane of many
author’s existence. Because people by and large, don't know anything about sexuality or anatomy.
Fear not foolish mortals, I'm here to save the day! I am breaking down my top ten tips
for writing sex scenes. Specifically, how to not screw up your sex scene. Because there are some
really awful sex scenes out there, and you don't want to contribute to the trash pile, do you? A
few disclaimers. First of all, this video is about sex, if you couldn't tell already. That means I'll
be talking about sex, sexuality, and genitalia explicitly. If you are remotely uncomfortable with
any of these topics, get the hell out of here! Second, most if not all of the points in this
video can apply to any kind of sexual pairing: male and female, female and female, male and male,
non binary, polyamorous—whatever, it's all relevant. And third, I have a lot of content
to cover because writers be fucking up they're sex scenes. Thus this video is going to be loooong.
But don't get too excited, size doesn't matter. Without further ado, here are the basic things you
need to know before tackling your fictional romp in the hay, aka the video that will ultimately get
me flagged and demonetized. Number One (1): Types of sex scenes. Writers get overwhelmed when they
go to write a sex scene because they don't know where to start. Fortunately, there are several
different types of sex scenes to choose from based on your genre, or your intention for the
scene. Keep in mind some of these categories I'm about to list are based on accurate terminology,
and others are terms I completely made up for the sake of this video. First up, Graphic Sex.
This is a sex scene that is described in explicit raunchy detail. For example: He's thrust his hard
cock into her dripping (cat meowing noise). The intention of the graphic sex scene is to
turn the reader on, and it's most common in erotic fiction. Second is Harlequin Sex. This
sex scene uses metaphors, analogies, and imageries to describe sexual acts. For example: His luscious
lips worshiped Jean-Claude’s man sword, leaving passionate kisses along the throbbing steel. The
intention of the Harlequin sex scene is to appeal to the reader's imagination. And it is most often
seen in specific sub genres of romance. Third up is Emotional Sex. This is a sex scene that gives
virtually no details regarding anatomy or actions, and instead focuses on the feeling and emotion of
the moment. For example: She took her to bed where they discovered one another, their hands tracing
the curves of their bodies as they explored their undying love. The intention of the emotional sex
scene is to appeal to the readers emotions, and it is most popular in fiction aimed toward a teenage
audience or for writers who don't want to give the saucy specifics. Fourth up is Middle Ground
Sex. This sex scene is a combination of the ones I already listed, most often graphic sex
and emotional sex. For example: She rode his cock, reveling in the lust pulsing within her, burning
through her veins. The intention of middle ground sex is to be sexy without going over the top,
and it is most popular in the romance genre, as well as any genre geared toward an adult
audience. Fifth up is Innuendo Sex. This is when sex is hinted at using abstract metaphors leaving
the reader to wonder, did they or didn’t they? For example: Their souls combined and their love
reached new heights soaring to the clouds above. Are they fucking? Are they high? Who knows! The
intention is to get the characters laid without stating it, and it's most often used by writers
who want their characters to screw, but feel weird about it. And the sixth option Fade To Black. This
is when the author states that the sex is going to happen, but then they end the scene before
anything explicit happens. For example: Chad took his hand, following him into his bedroom for the
first time. The intention is to show the readers, yes fluids were exchanged, without giving any
details. This is popular in novels aimed toward a teenage audience, or in books where the sex isn't
really relevant to the story. Number Two (2): Genres. Some people think the only genres that
can feature sex are romance and erotica, but some people are idiots. Sex scenes can be featured in
any genre targeted toward a mature audience. There is sex in fantasy, there are sex in
historical fiction, sci-fi, mystery—whatever. Sex is an everyday part of life, so it's not uncommon
for boinking to become relevant to a story. Provided your book is written for adults and
it makes sense for the plot, you are welcome to write a sex scene. Number Three (3): Young adult
and new adult. “But Jennaaa! Can I write a sex scene in my young adult or new adult novel?” Yes,
you can, but it depends on the kind of sex scene. Young adult novels are about characters ages 13
to 18 as they navigate teenage struggles. It may shock you, but some teenagers have sex,
which means some young adult novels feature sex. However, there are a few things to consider before
adding a sex scene to your young adult novel. First is the target audience. Young Adult books
are primarily targeted toward readers the same age as their characters, which is 13 to 18 years old.
That means a majority of your readers are going to be minors, and some of them are going to be REALLY
young. Additionally, graphic sex featuring two barely pubescent teenagers is really creepy. Thus,
if your young adult book feature sex, it will almost always be a fade to black, or an emotional
sex scene. The author lets us know the deed happens, but we don't hear any of the specific
details. As for new adult, all restrictions are off. New adult novels feature characters ages 19
to 25. They are adults, the audience in theory is adult, which means you can write whatever kind of
sex scene you want. Number Four (4): Sex scenes that aren't as sexy as authors think. There are
specific sex scenes we see a lot in fiction, because they seem really romantic and primal.
Problem is these sexual acts aren't quite as common or sexy in the real world because they
involve a lot of issues that authors completely ignore or forget. First up we have beach sex. Lots
of people write about sex on the beach because it's romantic as hell. But here's something to
consider: saltwater, in holes! Another thing to consider: sand, in holes! Butt hole, vagina—I
don't care, either way we're talking extreme pain and a nasty infection. If you're gonna write about
beach sex, maybe elevate your characters above the sand and water, say in a cabana. Second up is wall
sex. We see wall sex in a lot of books because it comes across a very hot and spontaneous. Problem
is, wall sex requires a significant amount of streangth, both from the pounder and the poundee.
Unless both characters are ripped, trained warriors, it's gonna be really hard to believe
that they can sustain wall sex for the entire session. If your characters aren't bodybuilders,
you can have them start against the wall and then finish on the bed. Third up, shower sex! Shower
sex is popular in fiction because what's hotter than sex? Wet people having sex. The problem is
exactly that. Showers are wet, which means there's a fall risk. Additionally, shower water is very
rarely distributed evenly which means someone is going to be drowning beneath the showerhead, while
the other person is off to the side freezing their ass off. When writing shower sex stick to very
simple, easy positions that are easy to manage and distribute water. Lastly, we have synchronized
coming. There are many sex scenes out there where both parties come at the same time. And writers
do this because it's sexy and easy. They came, the sex is over, I can stop writing! Problem is,
while it's possible to synchronize your orgasms, it's very uncommon and usually takes practice. You
are more than welcome to write a synchronized splooge or two, but if all of your sex scenes
end with them coming at the same time, no one is going to believe it. And please keep in mind sex
in a bed is awesome! And if you can't make that sexy, you might need to educate yourself on the
subject matter a little bit more. Number Five (5): Virgin sex. There’s a trend when it comes
to writing the loss of virginity, specifically if the virgin in question is female. Penetration is
either incredibly painful, or violently bloody. Or if we're in hell, both! This is concerning because
one people think this is normal, and two are these authors just really bad at sex? So allow me
to educate you on the female anatomy. The reason authors write about painful bloody sex is because
of misconceptions regarding the hymen. The hymen is a membrane that surrounds the vaginal opening.
Emphasis on: surrounds. It is NOT a flesh sheet that covers the vagina entirely like unfortunately
placed cling wrap. If it was, why then are virgins able to produce discharge, get wet, menstruate,
or wear tampons? Didn't think about that, did ya? It's okay neither did 90% of the authors who
write about sex. Think of the hymen as a collar or rubber band around the vaginal opening. With
pressure, it can stretch. Apply way too much pressure, way too quickly, and it can snap.
Which will then lead to pain and bleeding. (Jenna stretching the hair-tie) Oh my gosh,
just snap! This hair tie is too strong for this demonstration. The thing is, the hymen doesn't
have to snap during the first time. If a penis or another phallic object is inserted with care
and ease, it'll probably be a little uncomfortable and tight, but it won't be a horrific bloodbath.
Now keep in mind, even if a partner is gentle, the hymen still might tear a little bit, which
will cause a little bit of pain and a little bit of blood. But the emphasis here is on the word:
little. There are also ways to make penetration easier on a woman, whether it's her first time or
millionth time. The vagina is self lubricating, it tends to get all slippery when the woman is
aroused. Additionally, the vagina expands during arousal making room for pound town. Basically,
the easiest way to help a partner have painless penetration is to turn her on. Also lube is a
thing that exists! Long story short, if the sex is extremely painful or bloody, that either means
one, her partner is jackhammering her like a complete asshole. Two, she's not remotely turned
on in which case why is she doing this? Or three, she might very well have a medical condition that
should be checked out by a doctor. Number Six (6): Enthusiastic consent. Consent is not the absence
of a ‘no’ it's the presence of a ‘yes’, and you absolutely must include it in your sex scene,
unless you want readers to be absolutely disgusted. “But Jennaaa, consent isn't
sexy.” You're not sexy, because you're stupid. A lot of people hear ‘consent’ and think it
means (Moronic Voice) “Hello, may I have sexual intercourse with you?” “Why yes, let's pleasure
one another's genitals.” Consent can be written in a variety of ways, because it happens in a variety
of ways in the real world. Consent can be explicit in a sweet way, like this. “I can’t stop thinking
about kissing you.” “I’d really like it if you did.” Consent can be explicit in a naughty way,
like this. “I want to fuck you so bad.” “I want to fuck you too!” “Let's fuck each other!” Consent
can even be clear, irrefutable body language, like this. “Hey, Sabrina.” “What's up Gabby?”
“Take your clothes off.” Remember, there is no such thing as a non-consensual sex scene. If
that's what you've written, you've got yourself a rape scene. Number Seven (7): Birth control.
If your characters are of the opposite sex, birth control probably needs to be a thing.
“But Jennaaa, birth control isn't sexy.” You know what else isn't sexy? Babies, you fucking freak.
You can have your characters handle birth control in a few sentences. It can be as simple as sliding
a condom on, problem solved. Even better, you can have your characters discuss birth control. “But
Jennaaa discussing birth control is awkward.” I hate to break it to you, but sometimes sex
is awkward. Discussing birth control can be a funny moment between your characters that turns
into a bonding experience. And remember, just because your characters exist in a fantasy world,
does not mean you're off the hook. If anything, the creation of a fictional world means you can
be even more creative with your birth control. But you still gotta cover it, or else readers are
gonna call bullshit. Number Eight (8): Sex scene discomfort. “But Jennaaa, I'm really uncomfortable
with writing sex scenes.” Then here's an idea, don't write a sex scene. If I am not interested in
writing some kind of content, I don't create books that require that content. And don't forget, you
don't have to show the sex scene, you can always fade to black. “But Jennaaa, I'm fine with writing
sex scenes and the story requires it, it's just…my family's gonna read this.” Consider this, at least
75% of authors who have written sex scenes, also have families. If we can suck it up, you can too.
Plus if you're considering writing a sex scene, it's safe to assume you're grown, yes? Dear God,
I hope you’re grown. I imagine your family is probably aware that you, an adult, are familiar
with the existence of sex. If this revelation is shocking to them, that sounds like a personal
problem that they need to work out. Number Nine (9): Asexual and graysexuas. It's become a lot
more popular to feature aces and grays in fiction, which is fantastic. However, a lot of people are
writing them as if they've never heard of a penis or vagina and are flabbergasted at the thought of
inserting one inside the other. So let's get one thing straight. Aces and grays are not aliens.They
are human beings who are aware of sexual organs, and probably have some of their own. And here's
some education for you. Asexuals are people who do NOT experience sexual attraction. Graysexuals are
the middle ground between asexual and allosexual, they experience some or minimal sexual attraction,
usually under very specific circumstances. Some aces and grays are sex repulsed, some are
apathetic to sex, but some engaging and enjoy sex. For example, maybe they're in a romantic
relationship and they enjoy pleasing their partner even if they're not getting the exact same benefit
out of it, it can be very rewarding to know that you are giving your partner pleasure. Second,
many grays DO experience sexual attraction, it's just under limited circumstances. And third,
I don't know if you know this, but sex feels good. There are plenty of aces and grays who have sex
and masturbate, not because they're horny, but because they know they're probably going to come,
and coming is awesome. “But Jennaaa, that doesn't make sense.” Have you ever eaten a slice of cake
even though you weren't hungry? You ate it, because hungry or not, you knew that bitch
was gonna taste real good. This does not mean you have to write your ace or gray characters
as sexually active. But wherever they stand on the spectrum, recognize the fact that they're probably
not oblivious to sex. And Number Ten (10): Books that absolutely have to have sex scenes. There is
only one genre that has to include sex scenes, and that is erotica. Romance novels, books with
a romantic subplot, or adult novels as a whole can include sex, but they don't have to. Sex is
required for erotica, because erotica is a sexual fantasy. That's kind of the whole point. The only
exception is if the particular erotica novel involves some kind of sexual fetish that doesn't
explicitly involve the act of sex, but still gets the reader’s motor running. So that’s all I’ve got
for you today! Sex scenes are hard. So very, very hard… and thick. Hopefully you now have a basic
understanding of sex scenes, so you don't make the same mistakes that literally everyone else
has already made. Don't forget to subscribe to my channel. I post new videos on Wednesdays and if
you want to be alerted as SOON as I upload, ring that bell. The Savior's Champion is available in
ebook paperback, hardback and signed hardback. I've got a ton of links listed below. The audiobook
is also coming VERY soon, so keep an eye out for that. And be sure to follow me on social media.
I'm on Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, and of course you can tweet me @JennaMoreci! Bye!