The Church functions as a spiritual clinic, like a hospital.
In the hospital, it is not the doctor that is sick. He might be sick, as well, of course,
but the patient is the one who is sick, the one who is in the bed. He is the one receiving the healing treatment.
And the Church heals the human person. It does not restore God to us, but restores us to God.
It does not make God a friend of man but rather makes man a friend of God.
This is a very important point because this is what differentiates the “Church” from “religion”.
Religion tends to ingratiate God to make him a friend of man.
The ancients used to be afraid of the gods,
they would make sacrifices in order to appease the god not to destroy them.
This was the result of religion. The Church is exactly the opposite.
The Church has as a given that God is Father and Love to all,
and addresses man who is fallen and sick, and applies the healing therapy on the fallen man.
Man is the one who is the enemy of God and not Vice Versa.
This is a great difference between the Church and religion.
Therefore, the object of focus is the human being.
What is then Confession?
From the moment that we are all baptised we are clothed with Christ through baptism.
Through the Holy Chrism we receive the power and life and we become alive in Christ,
we are fed with the body and blood of The Lord, and in accordance to this, we should have had no need for repentance,
since we had been clothed with Christ and we received power and we are being fed with the Body and Blood of Christ,
we should be on the straight path, not needing anything.
However, our human nature is different, it is changeable, it becomes distorted, it has its weaknesses, it trips and falls and has so many problems.
It has the entire sickness of our fallen nature.
Hence, it has the need for doctors, it needs the hospital. It needs to enter the hospital and receive a healing treatment.
The hospital is the Church, the sick person is each one of us, the spiritual doctor is Christ. He is the one who provides the treatment,
but the one who stands physically in His place is the Spiritual Father, who stands in the name of the Church, and not as a representative of God
– we do not have representatives of God –
but he stands as our brother and father, who has himself also gone through this process of healing, or who is ahead of us in the spiritual struggle,
or at the least knows the healing therapy as described by the Fathers,
who were themselves healed and then wrote the therapeutic manuals and handed down, as a precious inheritance, The Spiritual Father must know this inheritance well and he must himself have gone through this training accordingly.
Therefore, in the sacrament of Confession we do not essentially develop a relationship with our spiritual father,
but we develop and establish a relationship with Christ.
This is very important. The spiritual father is the means through whom we are led to Christ.
It would be a huge mistake, it would be a heresy, it would be idolatry, it would be demonic possession, it would be the worst kind of blasphemy against both God and man, if the spiritual father were to place himself ahead of God and cultivate the worship of himself.
This kind of thing would be the greatest distortion that could ever be done and it is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit and blasphemy again every human being.
If someone has fallen into this trap, truly this person has been demonically possessed.
This is a very dangerous thing, it is a very fine line for the spiritual father who needs to heal you, but he must lead you to Christ, he should not keep you close to himself.
This is also a very fine line for the one who confesses, who needs to realize that the spiritual father is only a means to Christ. One should understand that Christ himself is what we should be looking for and not a good relationship with the spiritual father.
You may ask, of course, “isn’t it natural that a connection, a relationship of love and respect may develop between you and your spiritual father?”
Certainly, it is a natural consequence that a relationship will develop with the person to whom you entrust all the secrets of your life, and who stands next to you in every fall, in every difficulty, in every pain of every minute of your life. It is natural that a spiritual connection and strong bond is established.
I want to clarify here that there is a difference between what is a “spiritual father” and a “confessor”. Everyone who performs the sacrament of Confession is a “confessor”. But the “spiritual father” is only one.
Just like the Apostle Paul says “For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.” (1Cor 4:15)
Therefore, we only have one spiritual father, the one who through the Grace of God has given birth to us in the Church. The one who performed the mystery of our birth and regeneration into the Church.
But, of course, our spiritual father at some point will pass away, or we may move somewhere else, or at some point, we may not be able to see him, and as Christians, we need to have confession.
Then we may go to any priest confessor to confess our sins and receive the forgiveness and the support, but it does not mean that these priests are all spiritual fathers to us.
We should then have this distinction in mind that there is a difference between the Spiritual father and the confessor, although sometimes they may coincide and the spiritual father may also be our confessor, especially if he had a role in our spiritual regeneration.
In any case, the relationship will not be healthy if Christ is removed from in front of us and the spiritual father takes His place.
I realize that what I am saying is a very delicate subject, but we need to point it out.
Just like a mother who gives birth to a child, and as long as it is a baby it cries and wants its mother,
hugs his mother, sleeps in his mother’s arms, is fed by his mother, she holds and cuddles it. But you can’t imagine a twenty-year-old person being treated like that by his mother.
You realize that no matter how much love is there, a twenty-year-old or forty-year-old will not be in the bosom of his mother to be cuddled.
In other words, the mother holds the child, helping it to walk, as long as it is not able to walk.
Her purpose is to help you to grow up and walk by yourself. It is important that you reach a point that you are completely independent of your mother.
In the same way, the spiritual father gives birth to his spiritual children and nurtures them in Christ that they may grow up,
so that when the time comes and he does not exist anymore they may not feel that they lack anything and not feel like they don’t know what to do because their spiritual father is gone.
they should not say "what shall we do now? shall we change religion because our spiritual father is gone?"
These things aren't right! They are foolish! Τhey are childish. Such behavior, is a sign that they have not matured,
just like an adult who may cry because he is not with his mother anymore, an indication that the relationship with his mother was not healthy.
The natural thing is to be able to distance yourself from your mother and move on as an adult. You can remember her but not with tears.
The correct spiritual father is the one who, without any prejudice, helps his spiritual children grow and mature as themselves.
In other words, he does not want to make them like he is, but to be themselves,
as each one is because we are not all the same. Each has his or her own personality, one this way, the other that way.
Each one becomes wholesome in Christ and remains who he is.
We cannot all become the same thing. In a garden, for example, we have many different trees. As the Apostle Paul says,
God can change the wild olive tree to a domestic olive tree, the wild chestnut tree to a tame chestnut tree. He does not change the olive tree into an orange tree.
He doesn’t make everything into mandarins. In the same way, not all human beings can be made to be the same. Each person has to find their own personhood and complete their own personality in Jesus Christ
and remain wholesome, a free and perfect man in Christ. This is the beauty of the Church.
How frequently should we confess? The frequency of confession depends on how much one preserves their personhood.
On the other hand, however, one should be careful that the frequency of confession is not unhealthy.
There are people who do not want to have full responsibility for their actions and even the things which they should decide by themselves they try to load them onto their spiritual father.
They will ask, for example, “which one should I marry?” Well, am I the one who will marry him? You are the one. Put on your glasses and go take a look at him!
If he is good, take him. She comes back, “I saw him” “Eh, what happened?” “I didn’t like him.” “Eh, don’t marry him.”
Then she goes and says to him: “The elder told me not to marry you.”
Then I said to her: “Come here young lady, did I tell you not to marry him? Isn’t it you who said to me that you did not like him? Am I to tell you to marry someone you don’t like? If you don’t like him, don’t marry him.
What do you want from me?” She says: “Shouldn’t I be obedient to my spiritual father?”
Here we are. Untangle yourself out of this if you can. The one chases you to shoot you because you deprived him of his bride, and she is supposedly doing obedience to her spiritual father!
This is not how these things work. The spiritual father is not supposed to tell you who to marry. This is not an issue of the spiritual father. As it is also not an issue of the spiritual father if one should get married or not.
One come and asks “Should I get married?” “Yes, get married!” “Should I not get married?” “Don’t get married!” What should I tell you? You cannot abdicate your own responsibilities.
God Himself gives you the freedom to decide about your life. Should the spiritual father come and remove that freedom and tell you what to do?
This would not be right. But the spiritual father can help you make the decision. For example, “I want to get married but I am embarrassed to go speak to a certain girl.” You can help him overcome his fears and encourage him to do what he needs to do.
Whats the worst that can happen? At most she might reject you.
If he is a person who is afraid of marriage, not because he is seeking a life of quiet, but because he is fearful of the married life, then you can help him and encourage him to do what he wants to do. You do not put in his mind what you want him to do.
But you (as the spiritual father)cannot put in his mind what you want him to do.
An other one asks: “What should I study?” “Study that which you like, anything you want!” “Where should I go study?” “Go wherever you want to study, but wherever you go, be careful not to sin, not to deny God, not to forget your faith, not to defile yourself,
but if you want to go to America, or Japan or China, go wherever you want!” I am not going to tell you where to go to study.
We should understand these things very well. And you need to understand these things, as well. But, you know, what is happening to us today is similar to what happened to the early Christians.
The pagans heard that they were eating the body and blood of Christ and they started calling them “cannibals”.
They couldn’t explain to them, that yes, we are eating the body and blood of Christ, but we are not eating flesh, this is a mystery, we are not really cannibals.
When we give to the people this picture that “I will do what my spiritual father says,” someone can say “See, this is brain washing.
They removed your personhood and you have become pawns of your spiritual fathers. Here is what confession does to people, This is what Father Athanasios does!”
I heard these things. I don’t mind. But, when Confession is meant to offer you the possibility to become a wholesome, free human being, look how, because of your own small mindedness,
you give a wrong picture both to yourself and to others.
And these kinds of things have happened to us many times because of people’s foolishness, who think it a pious thing to say “I will do whatever my spiritual father says.” (Or the "elder said" or who ever)
Imagine, if you are a married woman and your husband says let’s go for vacation or on a cruise and you tell him “if I have the blessing of my spiritual father, I will come.”
Isn’t he right if he throws you out? Is this an answer to give to your husband? Or, is there a spiritual father who deals with such topics?
Or, does a spiritual father have the right, or who gave him such a right to interfere in the life of another person in such a way? The level of the spiritual father is different, his relationship is different and his purpose is different.
Just as it is dangerous to be a spiritual father, it is equally dangerous and important that you also have the right stance in Confession. Let’s not make such tragic mistakes and carry them also further down, and then become the cause of scandal to other people, and they will be justified, of course.