[THEME - HEINZ KIESSLING, "TEMPTATION SENSATION"]
(SINGING) They broke my legs, but they
didn't break my spirit.
But I don't feel no pain, because I found cocaine.
Cocaine!
[HORSE NEIGHING]
(SINGING) Oh, pizza man, pizza man, I got pizza here.
Who wants pizza, man?
I will dice you into a million little pieces
and put those pieces in a box, a glass box
that I will display on my mantle.
Some people say it's better than busting a nut.
What is your spaghetti policy here?
Everybody's dying, bitch.
Let's get you some fruit.
Slaughtered about 200 of them.
[LAUGH]
You flushed your shoes down the toilet?
Why would you do that?
Flushing things gives me control.
I'm eating because I'm very uncomfortable.
I-- I-- I like to bind.
I like to be bound.
I-- [SCOFF] I--
I-- that's not important.
Don't ask me questions!
I'm not taking questions!
The golden god is not taking questions!
I am the golden god!
Did you bang my wife?
There's not a single goddamn desk in that office.
There is no Carol in HR.
- Oh, get a job? - Yeah.
Just get a job?
Why don't I strap on my job helmet
and squeeze down into a job cannon (SHOUTING)
and fire off into job land?
Jesus, Frank.
Je-- oh, Jesus, Frank.
My life is a lie.
But did you eat the stickers that are all over it?
Yeah, it was gross.
Of course it's gross.
It's a sticker, bro!
I eat stickers all the time, dude!
Oh my god.
Look at me when you're talking to me!
[HORN HONKING]
Oh, shit.
The steaks are here.
The golden god!
I am untethered, and my rage knows no bounds!
What the hell is that?
You know what it is, bitch.
Bang.
[GROANING]
Bang! Bang!
Bang!
[SCREAMING]
What just happened? Give me the milk.
Sorry, we're not bluffing.
No, you're supposed to stab one of them!
You stab one of them.
[GROAN] I got to take care of this.
[MOAN]
(IRISH ACCENT) I'll tell you what's happening.
One day you're young and pretty, and the next,
the years of drinking and abuse have robbed you of your youth.
OK, let's go!
Let's-- let's play some basketball, right?
You are the green man.
Green man is saving your life right now, bro.
Just go with the flow.
I'm the trash man.
I am God.
(SINGING) And I am available to any interested men who'd
like to get my number after the show.
Keep singing, bitch.
You're not going to have a face by the time I'm done with you.
Colonel Cricket.
We met the other day.
You spit in my face.
Oh, yup. Yup, there it is.
Mm-hmm.
[LAUGH] Indeed.
Are you fat?
You probably are because you're watching TV.
Or internet.
BOTH: Fight Milk!
Fight Milk!
I'm storming in.
I was storming in.
What are you, a man-cheetah?
- Yeah. - Cool.
- You like it? - Yes.
Oh.
(ENGLISH ACCENT) 'Ello, love.
I'm your new butler.
Albert Covington's the name.
Is your mum about?
[CAWING, SCREECHING]
Back and roll with me.
Back and roll the team.
Whoo!
[CAWING, SCREECHING]
I don't have beef with you.
You don't have beef with me?
I was a priest before I got involved with you guys.
Unbelievable.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[HISSING]
What are we going to sing instead?
What should I sing?
Uh, what's on the back there?
It's the same-- same song.
Uh, and what's on the very-- very back page?
Nothing.
Ah, then that's what you'll be singing.
Oh-oh, botched toe.
I botched that one.
Oh, that's a botched job. - Uh.
That's bleeding.
I need some trash to plug up the cut.
So you're telling me that you can't read English
but you can speak and read an entirely different language.
Uh, I can read it.
I can't speak it.
How can you read something you can't speak?
It doesn't make any se--
I don't know, the mystery, the magic.
Ooh, that felt good.
Was that sexy?
Pussy.
Hey, guys, wh-- what's the deal with those
hands-free headsets that everybody's wearing
in their ears, right?
[GAG] It's like, hey, everybody look at me.
I'm one part robot and three parts asshole.
[GAG]
Jesus Christ!
I'd like some welfare, please.
Where do I put my feet?
Wherever you want.
I want to put them on the stool.
It's your turn to take the bedpan out tonight.
(SCREECHING) No, no, Frank, I did it last time.
It looks totally like a dick.
I thought, well, all right, let's go with the dick thing.
It's more masculine anyway.
[SIGH] Good point.
I mean, shit, if you want it to be a bicep,
it needs more veins.
You get dick because you are a follower and a thief.
Sometimes you got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.
You g-- g-- you got to crack a couple eggs to make an omelet?
Yeah, you got to crack an egg.
Oh, is that your new f-- so you're throwing
down life lessons now, huh?
I'm throwing down eggs.
Ah, class is in session.
The teacher's teaching class now?
I'm-- I'm cracking eggs of wisdom.
Oh, hey, Dee.
[SCREECHING]
I do not give a shit about your problems, Dee, OK?
I'm still pumped up from that ass whooping I just handed out.
You see that? [SCREECHING]
[MOANING] - Mm.
Mm-hmm.
[MOANING]
Is he all right?
[MOANING]
Yeah, he's OK.
Hello?
Mac?
Dee?
Frank?
I made my friends disappear.
Shh, just let me.
- I-- - Don't start talking.
[ALL SHOUTING OVER EACH OTHER] - I can tell--
I can tell you're going to start talking.
- You're saying-- - The pause is too big.
We-- - I'm just--
I'm trying to be--
How much cheese have you eaten today?
What's your favorite hobby?
Uh, magnets.
What do now?
Sometimes things just sort of end.