I just have a short follow-up question um so I've been doing that going back to
the eye when I feel agitated um trying to find it within myself and I always realized that it
that it's very closely associated with my body so I look very closely to my body and I realize
it it kind of feels like it's just made out of clouds it doesn't have it's not really there
however it it so quickly goes back to what I'm used to perceiving it [Music] um that the feeling
of whatever came up is not really able to entirely dissolve so I was wondering if you could yes yes
so I understand so every time you close your eyes and you go back to the actual felt experience
of the body the the old Concepts and belief and the associated feelings to dissolve and you you
feel the body is a cloud of sensing appearing in space made of that space and then the the older
conditioning comes back very strongly it overrides your experience is that that yes so so just um you
see every time you go back every time you do this meditation that you've described every time you
close your eyes I'm a newborn infant it's this first experience I've ever had my body is just
this tingling amorphous cloud of sensing appearing in my openness every time you do that you erode
the old habit of believing and feeling yourself to be something solid dense Limited
so yes the old when you then open your eyes again the old habit comes back quickly because you've
been rehearsing it and practicing it for so many years so just having recognized yes if
I go deeply into my experience my body the felt sense of my body is just a cloud of sensing just
that experience having had it once or twice is not enough to erode this very well-born habit
but every time we do go back there we we weaken that habit
we disempower it at least to a degree and so we keep going back there we keep
going back there we keep going back there and gradually over the over the months this old
habit of the old beliefs and feelings that spring back so quickly they lose their power
they begin to show up less and less
so I understand the situation you're in you've under you've seen something you've understood
something but the old habits are still so strong that they're overriding your understanding
so it's just because those old habits are so deeply conditioned in us we've
been practicing them for so long but it takes time
so you do you suggest that when I do that um that I keep doing it until it's entirely dissolved
because that I I don't have that experience that it entirely dissolves it just at a certain point
I just get frustrated by um this kind of ping pong you mean when you're sitting in meditation
content contemplating the body you it does uh the old feeling doesn't entirely dissolve
yes and it keeps getting back to me feeling as the body
even when you're you're in in meditation
recognize for whatever um and just well I can say in time but a few moments later
um it kind of brings back to a child yes so that keeps like happening so okay so
um one thing you could try is that instead of just exploring this when you're sitting
quietly on a chair with your eyes closed that's relatively easy you close your eyes
your newborn infant it's the first experience you've ever had the body you lose the labeled
body you even lose this in the label sensation it's just a field of sensing you you can go
there yes is that you have understood yeah that's easy with your eyes closed sitting
quietly at home alone do the same thing walking down the High Street with your eyes open
you can barely see your body at all you occasionally see your legs walking but
apart from that you can't see your body what is my actual experience
now do I feel myself something solid dense moving down the street or is there just a
vibration a sensation moving through space do the EXP in order to bring this understanding out of
out of your bedroom into the High Street in into more challenging circumstances with your eyes open
try to do the same contemplations in in more challenging circumstances
well it's already happening when I'm just having my eyes
closed you know the the going back and forth between uh okay okay and
well that's good that's fine just keep with your eyes closed when you go back to the old habit
keep questioning it is that true what's my actual experience that brings you back to your own your
your actual experiencing the old habit comes your eyes are still at the old habit but my body is
solid and dense is that actually true where's the evidence go to the sensation of your legs on the
chair that seems to be evidence of weight but it's just an intense sensation a headache is an intense
sensation do you feel it weighs something no why because you don't seem to impose the belief on it
go to the experience the legs on your chair like you experience a headache it doesn't
weigh anything yes it's intense not as intense as a headache but it has a certain intensity but
Liberate the the intensity of the sensation from the concept of weight
keep going back to your experience it's every time
you go back to your actual experience you erode the power of your old beliefs
until at the moment your beliefs Trump your
experience but in time your experience begins to override your beliefs
that's very helpful thank you