- It's time for the first reaction video of 2019.
I'm excited, I just came back from Costa Rica,
maybe you could notice the tan.
Nurse Jackie Episode 1, Season 1.
Be-whoop!
(bright house music)
- [Jackie] What do you call a nurse with a bad back?
Unemployed.
- No! - Ba-dum-bump.
(laughs)
- Are those tomatoes?
(slow classic music)
Literally cherry tomatoes.
I like cherry tomatoes.
Nope, those are not cherry tomatoes, she's doing lines.
- [Jackie] Can you show me two fingers?
Peter, two fingers?
- Hey doc, you should get an iPhone.
- You think so?
- All right this doctor's absolutely awful,
this doesn't happen in hospitals,
if it does, people should be losing their medical licenses.
The patient is clearly mentally unstable,
or has some sort of altered mental status,
because he's in and out of the conversation,
he can't hold up two fingers,
and his doctor is like, checking his Blackberry
and talking about a vacation to St Barts.
Come on bro!
And first of all, who has a Blackberry?
I used to.
- He's got a bleed, I'm telling you right now.
- [Doctor] He's totally lucid, 100%.
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- See, what did I tell ya
- (laughs) That's not how we determine
someone's neurological status.
We do something known as the Glasgow Coma Scale,
which gives you a score from 0-15,
depending on how alert you are.
Besides that, we do a complete neurological examination.
We don't just look at someone, make a knock knock joke,
and just assume they're good.
(sad and gentle piano music)
- [Nurse] Acute Subdural Hematoma.
The brain puffs up so fast, it rips the blood vessels,
and you bleed to death inside your skull.
- The skull is a closed environment,
and when you bleed into the skull,
that builds up extreme pressure,
now that pressure exhibits what we call Mass Effect
onto the brain, and puts even more pressure
and causes your brain cells to die.
Horrible that this patient had to loose his life like this,
for what, cause a doctor had an ego
and wanted to look cool in front of the nurse?
- You should not have died. - I agree
- Peter Michael Donovan.
- Wait is she forging his organ donorship?
- It may be a shame but it will not be a waste.
- If she forged his organ donor certificate
on the back of his license that's crazy.
I have no words for that.
- We worked 911, not a scratch on us,
Peter's job is to ride a bike, and he get's killed.
- Riding a bike is incredibly dangerous,
when I worked at a level 1 trauma center,
we would see bike accidents happen all the time,
and unfortunately, many of these people don't wear helmets,
and essentially, what happens is they come in,
horrible brain bleed, and its often too late for us
to even intervene in the hospital,
and they loose their lives.
- I tell you to order a scan, you order a goddamn scan,
because if you don't do it I'll just go to the next doctor,
and the next doctor after that, and in the mean time,
that kid died, and it is all on you.
Wh- is this happening, not happening I can't even tell.
- Oh shit, oh crap, I- I'm so sorry, oh God.
No, when I get nervous I act out
with inappropriate sexual touches, it's like turrets.
- It's over, okay it happened and now its over,
so there's that.
I don't like chatty, okay, I don't do chatty, I like quiet.
Quiet and mean, those are my people.
- I've worked with nurses that were mean like this,
and I will say that secretly inside,
despite this mean exterior,
they have the biggest and sweetest hearts,
they care about people, and the only reason they're so mean,
is because they wanna protect their patients.
They don't put up with nonsense,
so I defend you mean nurses.
- [Jackie] We got you inside, it's all right.
- Got some John getting off cutting up hookers
in the back of a limo, dumped her in the alphabets.
- Why did he have to cut me so bad?
- Did they get him?
- Nah, be on the lookout for Vincent Van Gogh
and his fancy-fucking suit.
She got the blade away from him, cut his whole ear off.
- Good girl, okay, put it on ice.
- You never wanna take an organ like that
that is very sensitive and put it directly on ice,
you wanna wrap it in a wet cloth, and then put that on ice,
because the ice can actually damage the tissue,
almost like creating frostbite.
- [Nurse] Puke away from the ear Zoe.
(laughs)
(screams)
(chuckles)
- Typical day in the hospital.
- What do you doctors have against healing people
for Christ sake?
[Doctor] Ha, see that right there, healing, helping,
fixing, it's fantastic.
That's why you're a nurse.
- I'm not digging the stereotype right now.
Doctors help people, when we go get lunches
or dinners together,
we talk about what we could have done better,
we try and learn from our cases,
so I'm taking this to heart right now,
and bad Nurse Jackie show writer.
- 4 minutes til brain damage.
- 2 til she passes out.
- [Lady] Excuse me, we need some help here.
- [Jackie] I got it, you're buying lunch.
(sighs)
(grunts)
- By doing the Heimlich maneuver like that,
what you're doing is you're increasing
the inter abdominal pressure, which then forces the air out,
therefore, helping you push out
whatever it is you are choking on, or this poor lady
in this case, is choking on.
- [Paramedic] 16 year old male,
shot a Roman candle out of his ass.
- Third degree burns on his scrotum and rectal area.
- Oof, he put a firework in his butt?
- [Doctor] Can we close the door?
(laughter)
- Never in my life have I examined the patient,
let alone examined a patient in stirrups
with the door open like that, come on now.
Come on now!
- I cannot even begin to imagine
what it must feel like to be you right now.
And I'm not going to cushion it,
and tell you I'm so sorry for your loss,
I know it is much bigger than that.
But I am deeply, deeply sorry.
But if its any comfort, he's gonna be a hero now.
His body is going to save lives.
- That's actually an incredibly good speech.
Concise, easy to understand, still apologetic,
without going too far.
Except the fact that obviously she lied
and forged his organ donor signature.
- Fine, can I have his heart?
- Whoa!
- I'm sorry?
- That took a turn.
- Or how about a kidney?
I know there's like this organ market
where rich people buy, pay a lot of money for body parts.
- I know, it doesn't work that way.
- $20,000 for a kidney.
Don't you think he owes me that?
For getting himself killed on that goddamn bike.
- A family member or girlfriend of someone who just died.
Give me one of his organs so that I can sell it
on the Black Market, what?
- He made me pancakes this morning.
- And you want to sell his kidney.
You know what's funny, I've never seen these pills before,
cause A I don't take them, and B
when I order them for my patients I don't see them,
they pick them up either at the pharmacy, or even at bedside
and the nurses brings them to the patient,
so I've never seen these pills.
What doctors have, is we have some great apps,
like Epocrates, that we can open, get information
about the medications we're giving.
You can check the dosing, the formulary,
adverse reactions, drug interactions,
but then you go click here for pill pictures,
and you could see, but none of these look like
the ones she was using.
What about OxyContin.
Pill pictures... none of these are red.
Oh, oh, these kinda look like what she was using right?
- That woman you cut took 287 stitches
and 10 pints of blood.
- [Patient] She liked to cut herself.
- Oh it was her idea?
- Yes, American women are very adventurous.
- She probably did it for attention.
- What do you do for attention?
- I'll be right back.
(beep) you.
(laughs)
(flushing)
- I could have saved that boy, that messenger kid.
I knew there was a bleed, I felt it.
- This is where we need to use this
as a learning opportunity to create a system
in their hospital, like my hospital has,
where anyone, whether you're a nurse,
part of the janitorial staff, doctor, resident,
can report an error like this,
that needs to be investigated by the staff
so it doesn't happen again, and even if,
let's say they had a good outcome,
and she still felt like she wasn't being heard,
she needs to come on to that system and report
what we call a near miss, and a near miss is when
a mistake almost happens, even though you catch it,
but you still use it as a learning opportunity
so that a near miss doesn't even happen again.
- Do you think there's a finite amount of pain
in the world?
Like if I take the thorn out of someone's hand,
does that pain have to go somewhere else?
- Yes, that's why there's drugs.
- (laughs) No, disagree
- I think you're a Saint, just so you know.
(shuffling)
- I like her bunny scrubs, I'm jealous,
I want a pair like that.
(beeping)
(scuffling)
- Dammit, I almost killed you.
- That's why we don't take drugs on the job.
It's pretty funny but it looks like those bags
are just saline, so I don't know how she almost killed him,
but it doesn't look like it.
That's what we call a near miss by the way.
- Wanna come over tonight?
- Not tonight okay?
- I brought you something for your back.
- Doctor Pepper.
Moon pie, I was thinking more along the lines of Vicodin.
- There's actually been a lot of scandals,
with doctors and pharmacists either overprescribing
narcotics, or maybe even getting caught stealing narcotics,
now, they're locked up in these machines.
In my hospital they're called Pyxis machines,
where you need to actively get fingerprints,
they'll scan your badge in order to get any kind of
number of medications out.
Also there's been a lot of doctors where I come from
in Brooklyn, that have been arrested and charged
with distributing these narcotics because they were just
writing scripts for patients nonstop,
100 pills, 100 pills, unlimited refills.
Those who haven't yet been caught, be wary
because we are coming for you.
- Be careful.
- (beep) you
- Whoa, welcome to New York.
(puncturing)
How did he not catch that?
No joke, I am a fan of Nurse Jackie.
It's not a doctor show,
but there's enough medical stuff
for me to comment on for sure.
If you want a funny video, check out my bloopers.
Click it, I know you wanna.
Stay happy and healthy.