Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be, say it with me,
to create a business and life you love. And today is Q&A Tuesday. Today’s question comes
from Harold and he writes:
“Hey Marie, love what you do. Thanks for all the advice and clarity. I’m a highly
intuitive person. I’m pondering a decision that on all sides points one way logically
and intuitively it points the other way. Now, I hear the saying to always go with your gut,
my question is, is it always best to go with what feels right? Thanks, Harold.”
Great question, Harold. You know, I think we’ve all been in situations where something
looked really great on paper but for whatever reason, we couldn’t shake that funny feeling
inside that said, “Nuh uh, don't do it.” You know, whenever I get into a tough spot
like that, for what it’s worth, I always wind up going with my gut. But it is wise
to have a process to work through to help you in situations like this, where logic is
saying one thing and your intuition is telling you another.
I’ll share a great, strategic decision making process with you in just a few minutes, but
first I wanna tell you a little story about a time when I went against logic and the expert
advice of others to follow my own instincts. So back when I was writing my book, Make Every
Man Want You, I was torn between trying to sell the book to a big publisher or self publishing.
Now, I did a lot of research and I asked several New York Times bestselling authors for their
input. And I even paid for a course on book publishing.
I’ve gotta tell you, Harold, everyone told me not to self publish my book if I ever wanted
to get taken seriously as an author. In fact, I was told self publishing is the kiss of
death.
And I’ve gotta say, logically I agreed. Self publishing would cost me a lot of money,
there was a lot of risk involved in the process in terms of quality of the end product, and,
like it or not, self publishing carried an amateur-like stigma. Plus I had this phrase
“kiss of death” looming in the back of my head. But I couldn’t shake the feeling
in my heart that for some crazy reason, I was supposed to self publish.
So I went ahead with my gut feeling and I decided to self publish my book. And I’ve
gotta tell you, it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Not only did I learn a ton
about project management and production, I gained a lot of confidence, I made great money,
I changed a lot of lives, and I wound up selling that same self published book to a big publisher
and today my book is in 16 languages worldwide.
To be clear for anyone considering it, I’m not saying self publishing is right for every
person, but in this instance it was right for me. And over time after making enough
tough decisions, I’ve learned to always trust my gut. But I do get it, Harold. Sometimes,
like now, you’re just not so sure. And when you’re really torn between logic and intuition,
there’s one thing I recommend to help yourself make the best decision for you.
You have got to write it all down. You might be asking, why? Because when you get all the
possibilities, the pros and cons, the worst case scenarios, and who else your decision
will impact. When you get all that out of your head and down onto the page, you’re
gonna be able to evaluate the situation a lot more clearly and, ultimately, you’re
gonna be more confident in your decision.
Let me repeat this: whenever you’ve got an important or difficult decision to make,
make it on paper. Just thinking about it in your head or even talking about it with other
people will likely just get you more confused and more unsure. Now, to help you out, here
are 5 strategic questions you need to ask and answer about your situation.
Number one, what’s the result or outcome you most want in this area of your life? So
what’s most important to you? What are you really after here and why? Number two, list
all your options to move ahead. If it’s just two, that’s fine. But I want you to
challenge yourself to think outside the box and consider outrageous, even farfetched alternate
options if that’s relevant for your situation. Now, this is where innovation and creative
solutions can really spring up. Number three, upsides and downsides for each option. List
as many as you can think of here. This is your classic pro and con list. Number four,
worst case scenarios for each option. This one’s vital because we often overestimate
worst case scenarios in our heads, but when we really take time to write them down we
see it’s rare that there’s any decision we can’t change or recover from. This helps
remove fear. Number five, who else will this impact? For each option it’s useful to think
beyond yourself and consider how your choice may impact your relationship with others.
Your team, your family, your friends, your customers, etcetera.
This might seem like a lot of work, Harold, but important decisions can radically impact
the quality and direction of your entire life. And these 5 questions will strengthen your
decision making muscles and help you strategically and intelligently work through any tough situation
you find yourself in. So let’s land this plane on a Tweetable.
“Sometimes, going with your gut is more than a snap decision.”
Now, by the way, if you haven’t seen our other episodes, one’s called Four Ways to
Sharpen Your Intuition, the other, How to Tell the Difference Between Fear and Intuition,
make sure you check them out. I’m also gonna put links to them below.
Now I would love to hear from you. Have you ever felt torn between your sense of logic
and your sense of intuition? Any tools or practices that have repeatedly helped you
intelligently and strategically work through some kind of dilemma?
As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so get
your buns over there and leave a comment now.
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