For as long as white people have been colonizing Africa,
trophy hunting has existed as a way
for them to bring home souvenirs.
And you know, in a way,
I feel like us Africans are partly to blame.
We should have had a gift shop.
But while these pictures may have garnered praise
in the 1900s, these days, thanks to social media,
the only thing that they generate is outrage.
TV REPORTER: In recent years the hunting of big cats
has sent shock waves around the globe.
TV REPORTER: Outrage in this country
over the killing of a beloved lion in Zimbabwe
by an American hunter.
TV REPORTER: This photo from an African trophy hunt
has sparked outrage across the country.
TV REPORTER: That same fire reignited
when a trophy-hunting couple posed kissing
over the corpse of a lion they had just slain.
Like... I'm sorry, man.
This is, this is just disgusting.
You killed an animal for fun
and then you make out next to its dead body?
Is this, is this like a fetish?
No, I honestly wonder this.
Like, like, is this like a thing just for lions,
or do they do this every time there's a dead animal?
Like, every time they see road kill on the highway,
is this couple just like, "Honey, pull over,
I'm so turned on right now."
It's also disrespectful.
Like, imagine if it happened the other way around.
Yeah. Like, at a family funeral,
all of a sudden, just like, two lions popped out
and started humping at your dad's coffin.
Just like...
Yeah, you wouldn't be happy with that.
And what's interesting about trophy hunting
is that we all assume people do it
because they don't care about the animals,
but according to the hunting community,
they do this because they care too much.
I know it sounds contradictory, but hunters love animals.
Hunters are the ones that are giving so much back
to preserving these wild species.
A lot of people talk about conservation
but hunters are the real, um, conservationists.
Everybody thinks that the easiest part
is pulling the trigger, and it's not,
that's the hardest part.
But you gain so much respect
and so much appreciation for that animal...
Wow, that's one hell of a way
to show your appreciation and respect.
Imagine if your boss called you into his office and was like,
"Johnny, I want to let you know how much I appreciate
and respect your hard work,
and that's why it's my privilege...
(laughter)
And by the way, did you notice how
that other woman arranged her lions?
Like, did you see that?
I don't care if you hunt or not, that-that's just creepy.
Like, look at that. It looks like
she shot the lions and then said,
"Make it look like they're about to have sex,
and then make that deer look like it's watching."
(laughter)
Now, oh, another argument trophy hunters use
is that they're actually getting rid of the slower,
weaker animals who are holding back the rest of the herd.
But that might not be the full story.
TV REPORTER: Trophy hunters kill some of the biggest,
most magnificent animals,
which is bad for the health of the species,
because genes may no longer
be passed on to future generations.
SALMONI: By taking those guys out of the gene pool,
it weakens the genes of the entire population.
So over the last 30 years,
the average size of a male lion has dropped
specifically because of trophy hunting.
That's right. Despite what they say,
trophy hunters actually like to target
the strongest specimens, which I don't support,
but, honestly, I mean, I understand.
It's called "trophy hunting" for a reason.
Yeah. You want it to look
like you battled an alpha male to the death,
not like you snuck into its nursing home
and then smothered one of the lions with a pillow.
Just like, "Shh!
Go to sleep, Scar, go to sleep."
(laughter)
Actually, if you think about it,
this is the one time in the animal kingdom
where it pays to be out of shape.
Like, I wonder if there's one fat-ass lion
who's just like, "Yeah, who's laughing now?
"No one asked me to the prom,
"but at least I'm not in the picture with Don Jr.
Ha ha ha!"
(cheering and applause)
And one of the main arguments...
One of the main arguments trophy hunters give
is that their hobby helps local villages,
but upon closer inspection, that's not necessarily true.
NEWSMAN: Critics question whether countries
that promote trophy hunts manage that money properly.
NEWSWOMAN: The 2013 report found that just...
(reading):
NEWSWOMAN 2: In Zimbabwe,
corruption and bloated bureaucracy
prevent much of the money from helping those in need.
How much money does the community get at the moment?
Yeah. See, the truth is, unfortunately,
the money from these hunts doesn't go to these communities.
Oftentimes, it stays at the top
with the people who run the trophy hunting game.
To be honest, most of these claims don't add up for me,
you know, because another thing hunters love to say
is it's not just the money.
They say that their hunting provides meat
for the local villagers.
Yeah, because apparently before the white hunters came,
all Africans could do was just look at the animals.
Yeah. Africans were just like,
"Oh, look at the meat inside that buffalo, huh?
"If only there was a way to get inside it. Aah!
"I guess we'll just have to wait for the white man to show up.
One day, huh? One day."
(laughter)
So, that's trophy hunting in a nutshell.
And as weak as the arguments for it may seem,
there will always be people who are convinced
that it's actually a good thing.
Which made us think,
if it's working so well for Africa,
maybe it's only fair that we let America
enjoy some of those benefits.
Dear America, for the past few decades,
you have come to Africa to shoot our animals.
And you say you do this to help us.
We are so grateful, we want to return the favor.
You see all these stray dogs and cats
that are running across your country?
-(gun clicks) -I'm going to kill them!
That's right. As part of a new program,
rich Africans will pay
to hunt stray dogs and cats in America.
And for every dog we shoot,
a portion of the profits will go to American communities!
Up to three percent!
And I know what you're thinking.
"What about my pets?"
I'm going to kill them, too.
Yes. Pets that have reached old age
will also be hunted by rich Africans.
No more watching Fluffles struggle to climb the stairs.
Instead, Fluffles will be shot and mounted
in a Nigerian's man cave.
And here's the best part.
After we shoot the dog, we will donate the carcass
so that no more American children
go without school lunch.
It's a win-win!
Oh, what a cute dog.
You get a head start.
(dog barks)
(gun clicks)
Oh, I'm going to kill it.
You're welcome, America.