WELCOME, WELCOME ONE AND ALL, TO "THE LATE SHOW."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
NOW FOLKS, WE LIVE-- WE LIVE IN SUCH PARTISAN DIVIDED TIMES.
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE MOST OF THE TIME, YOU KNOW.
AND IT CAN GET YOU DOWN.
BUT SOMETIMES A HERO EMERGES TO SHOW US THE WAY TO FACE THE
DARKNESS.
YESTERDAY, AN ANGRY TRUMP SUPPORTER INTERRUPTED A TUCSON
CITY COUNCIL MEETING AND THIS HAPPENED.
>> THE CITY DOES NOT CHANGEOR DEFY IMMIGRATION LAWS.
THAT IS CONGRESS'S JOB TO CHANGE IMMIGRATION LAWS.
>> SHUT UP!
( BOOS )
CITIZENS RESPECT OUR LAWS.
( BOOS )
YOU'RE IN DIRECT VIOLATION OF THE OATH YOU TOOK TO THE UNITED
STATES CONSTITUTION.
>> YOU'RE IN DIRECT VIOLATION OF BEING A JACKASS.
( UNINTELLIGIBLE YELLING )
>> QUIET, QUIET, QUIET.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I LOVE IT!
IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY: NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES.
( LAUGHTER )
AMERICA NEEDS MORE GREEN-SHIRT GUY AND LESS ORANGE-FACE MAN.
TODAY, THE PRESIDENT FLEW DOWN TO DAYTON, OHIO, AND EL PASO,
TEXAS.
AND HE WAS MET BY PROTESTERS IN BOTH CITIES.
DAYTON MAYOR, NAN WHALEY, MET WITH TRUMP AND TOLD THE PRESS
BEFOREHAND THAT SHE WASN'T GOING TO PULL ANY PUNCHES.
>> I'M DISAPPOINTED WITH HIS REMARKS.
I MEAN, I THINK THEY FELL REALLY SHORT.
>> ARE YOU GOING TO EXPRESS THESE VIEWS TO THE PRESIDENT
WHEN YOU SEE HIM TOMORROW?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> YOU ARE?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> YOU'RE GOING TO TELL HIM HOW UNHELPFUL HE'S BEEN?
>> LOOK, I MEAN, IF I'M TELLING YOU, I'M GOING TO TELL HIM.
>> WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HIM EXACTLY?
>> LIKE, HOW UNHELPFUL HE'S BEEN ON THIS.
>> Stephen: NOW, THAT MAY SOUND MILD.
THAT MAY NOT SOUND LIKE MUCH TO NEW YORKERS.
BUT IN OHIO, "UNHELPFUL" IS A DEVASTATING BURN.
IT'S RIGHT UP THERE WITH HOLDING A DOOR FOR SOMEONE BUT NOT
SAYING, "G'HEAD."
( LAUGHTER )
THE COUNTRY TOGETHER AS HE READ OFF THE TELEPROMPTER ON MONDAY.
>> NOW IS THE TIME TO SET DESTRUCTIVE PARTISANSHIP
ASIDE-- SO DESTRUCTIVE-- AND FIND THE COURAGE TO ANSWER
HATRED WITH UNITY, DEVOTION, AND LOVE.
>> Stephen: OKAY, NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE USED TO HEARING FROM
DONALD TRUMP, BUT HE APPEARED TO MEAN IT.
FOR ABOUT 24 HOURS.
BECAUSE TUESDAY HE TWEETED, "BETO-- PHONY NAME TO INDICATE
HISPANIC HERITAGE-- O'ROURKE, WHO IS EMBARRASSED BY MY LAST
VISIT TO THE GREAT STATE OF TEXAS, WHERE I TROUNCED HIM, AND
IS NOW EVEN MORE EMBARRASSED BY POLLING AT 1% IN THE DEMOCRAT
PRIMARY, SHOULD RESPECT THE VICTIMS AND LAW ENFORCEMENT AND
BE QUIET!"
NATION HEALED.
BY THE WAY, MR. PRESIDENT, BETO ISN'T PRETENDING TO BE HISPANIC.
IF HE WAS, THE PART OF HIS NAME HE WOULD'VE CHANGED WOULD'VE
BEEN "O'ROURKE."
"BETO O'ROURKE" DOES NOT SOUND LIKE A HISPANIC NAME.
BETO O'ROURKE SOUNDS LIKE THE BOUNCER AT A "DROP KICK
MURPHY'S" CONCERT.
AND BETO HAD THE PERFECT RESPONSE TO TRUMP, TWEETING, "22
PEOPLE IN MY HOMETOWN ARE DEAD AFTER AN ACT OF TERROR INSPIRED
BY YOUR RACISM.
EL PASO WILL NOT BE QUIET AND NEITHER WILL I."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YOU TELL 'EM BETO.
NICELY SAID.
YOU TELL 'EM BETO.
THEN TELL 'EM AGAIN IN SPANISH.
"EL TRUMPO ES RACISTA MAS GRANDE CON QUESO."