Parenting isn't easy, but for these celebs, the challenges don't end with just raising
kids. Homophobia, racism, and ageism all add to the shame they face in the public eye.
When Kate Winslet announced that she was pregnant with her third child in 2013, the
tabloids called her out for having three children by three different men. The Daily Mail declared
that her love life was a mess and interviewed friends of hers who claimed that her traumatic
childhood led to her complicated motherhood journey. Meanwhile, The Telegraph wrote,
"To the outside world, Kate, it just looks tacky. Three children by three
different fathers doesn't look good on anyone."
Other outlets have countered that Winslet is a victim of slut-shaming. Cosmopolitan
wrote that such contempt would never be directed at a man of her status. Meanwhile,
Slate called out her shamers for suggesting that children born to
different fathers are somehow less loved than those raised in traditional nuclear
families. And in a 2020 interview with Glamour U.K., Winslet fired back,
"It's very easy to be judgmental until you know someone's truth [...] I'm really
sorry to the nation's press that I fell in love and got pregnant;
I do apologize if you deem that irresponsible."
As a breast cancer survivor, talk show host Hoda Kotb began experiencing fertility struggles
following a double mastectomy. At the time, she was in her early 40s and was told that
freezing her eggs was highly unlikely to result in pregnancy given her age and cancer treatment.
But Kotb was ultimately able to fulfill her dreams of becoming a mom. In 2017, at the age of 52,
she adopted her first child, Haley Joy. Two years later, she adopted a second daughter,
Hope Catherine. She may have been overjoyed at finally having kids, but that didn't stop
haters from trying to rain on her parade. During an episode of Today, she revealed
that she received a cruel letter from someone who accused her of being selfish. As she recalled,
"I opened the letter and it was something along the lines of 'how dare you bring
a child into this world at your age? Don't you know what you're doing to that child?'"
"I was like, it took my breath away, because that actually was my ouch."
"Yeah."
Kotb chose to respond by saying that you never know when you'll lose your parents,
and it's the memories and values that parents instill in their kids that matter the most.
In 2007, then-16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears announced that she was pregnant with her
first child. She appeared on the cover of OK! Magazine and revealed that she was planning
on keeping her baby. But she also made it perfectly clear that she wasn't advocating
teen pregnancy and that her decision was hers and hers alone. Despite her pleas
for others to hold off their judgment, she still endured plenty of blowback.
Fans of Spears' Nickelodeon show Zoey 101 and their parents alike shamed Spears for getting
pregnant. Others accused her of glamorizing teen pregnancy, even insinuating that she
deliberately got pregnant to enjoy her fifteen minutes of fame. Years later in 2022, Spears
opened up about what she went through during an appearance on Good Morning America. As she put it,
"Why are you here other than to shame me and to benefit off of a young girl
who's going through something already so traumatic and so deep and personal?"
"I have looked back and I think, 'Wow, how is this acceptable?'"
Elton John and his husband David Furnish were delighted in 2010 when they welcomed
their first son, Zachary. But not everyone shared their enthusiasm. A column in the
Daily Mail suggested that Zachary was little more than a Christmas present and also implied
that John's desire for a baby was just one of his materialist obsessions, akin to shopping.
John was also targeted by the religious right, who shamed him for having kids both as a gay
man and as an older parent. As Church of England bishop Michael Nazir-Ali claimed to The Telegraph,
"All the evidence shows that children are best brought up in the context of
a stable marriage where they can relate to a mother and a father,
so that they can develop healthy relationships with people of both genders."
However, such assertions are contrary to official medical studies, which demonstrate
that the children of same-sex parents fare as well as or better than their peers from
heterosexual households. In an interview with The Mirror, John dismissed the backlash,
declaring that having a child was the best thing that ever happened to him. As he put it,
"I'm going to be watched, examined,
pulled apart. And that's OK because I believe in what I've done."
Nick Cannon's love life has become the stuff of legend, as he has twelve kids by six different
women. He's been criticized on social media as little more than a sperm donor, as opposed to a
true father. On an episode of the FOX Soul show Cocktails with Queens, Vivica A. Fox declared,
"Children deserve a father figure, especially young boys [...] Fatherhood
deserves responsibility, accountability, and children need that in their lives."
But others counter that we shouldn't be so quick to shame Cannon. For instance,
musician Akon declared on The ZeZe Mills Show,
"He's rich [...] He's responsible. He takes care of every one of those children."
As for Cannon himself, he's contended that people are bound by restrictive and outmoded
ideas about family. During an appearance on The Breakfast Club in 2021, he argued,
"That's a Eurocentric concept when you think about the ideas of, like,
you're supposed to have this one person for the rest of your life, and really that's just to
classify property when you think about it [...] I've never really subscribed to that mentality."
"I have no ownership over this person."
At the age of 20, Kylie Jenner gave birth to her first child,
Stormi, with her then-boyfriend Travis Scott.
She tried her best to keep her pregnancy a secret, and considering the backlash that ensued,
it's no surprise that she didn't want the world to know she was set to become a mom at a young age.
Social media star Piques directed some particularly barbed shaming
at Jenner by tweeting in September 2017,
"Let's all teach young girls to get pregnant at 20 to a guy you haven't even dated for a year,
[Kylie Jenner]. What an amazing role model."
Jenner was reportedly even shamed by members of her own family,
with insiders telling People Magazine that some of them believed that she
was too immature to be having kids. As the source claimed,
"Kylie is very naïve. Spending time with other people's kids is obviously completely different
than being a mom 24/7. Kylie of course has no idea about all the hard work and sleepless nights."
Some people have contended that this shame ultimately prevents
young mothers from getting the support that they need.
In a 2019 interview with Paper Magazine, Jenner addressed the hate by announcing,
"It's genuinely what I wanted... to be a young mom. I thought, 'This is what I want to do,
and if people accept it or don't accept it then I'm okay with every outcome.'"
After years enjoying an illustrious acting career,
Hilary Swank decided to settle down at the age of 48 and become a mom for the first time. During a
2022 appearance on Good Morning America, she announced that she was pregnant with twins.
"I can't believe it!"
Alas, despite her elation, Swank was met with cynicism and condemnation
from certain corners of the internet. When she posted an Instagram photo of
her newborn twins in April 2023, the shaming arrived with a fury. As one person commented,
"By the time your kids are in their 20s both their parents will be in a nursing home or dead."
But not only is that comment rude, it's also absurd and inaccurate. In Colorado,
where Swank lives, the average life expectancy for women is 82,
so she'll probably be doing okay when she's in her 60s.
And as others have pointed out, older celebrity dads are rarely shamed for
having children to the degree that mothers are. Ultimately,
the most important thing a parent can offer their child is not youth, but love.
And judging by Swank's joyful social media, her kids are getting an abundance of love.
In 2021, Halsey welcomed her son Ender Ridley with her partner Alev Aydin. Despite being almost
30 when she gave birth, the singer was criticized for supposedly being too young to become a parent.
During an appearance on Zane Lowe's Apple Music podcast that same year,
Halsey opened up by revealing,
"I'm 26, and I tried very hard for this pregnancy and it was like, I'm financially independent,
I'm pretty far along in my career, it feels like the right time for me to do it,
and I got treated like a teen mom a lot of the time [...] People were like, 'Oh my God, like,
you're so young' [...] And it triggered all these feelings of [...] shame."
"How can you have an opinion, that kind of opinion on me making this decision?"
Halsey also highlighted the stigma faced by women and femme-presenting people,
arguing that she likely still would have been subjected to the same scrutiny if
she'd decided to forgo becoming a parent for the sake of her career.
Moreover, such criticisms are particularly cruel considering Halsey's struggle with endometriosis,
which led to her having a miscarriage. In 2019, she told Rolling Stone that she feared
that she would never be able to have children after doctors advised her to freeze her eggs.
She then became determined to have a child, as she realized,
"I don't need to put out a third album. I' m just going to have a baby."
Hilaria Baldwin is no stranger to controversy. Much of that unfortunately has to do with how
she's chosen to grow her family, as she has seven children with her husband Alec Baldwin.
In 2021, just five months after she gave birth to her son Eduardo,
the couple then welcomed their sixth child, Lucia, who was born via a surrogate.
An article in the New York Post claimed that Hilaria owed it to the public to discuss the
surrogacy, considering how she's built a career around being a mommy influencer.
Moreover, social media users shamed her for bringing so many children into the world.
On her Witches Anonymous podcast, Hilaria called out those who criticized her
for having a baby via surrogacy and for undergoing IVF treatment. As she put it,
"The surrogacy route, they say, 'Oh, that's the easy way to have babies.' Anyone who has done IVF,
egg retrieval, any of it, it is not easy. It is painful [...] Having been able to do both sides
of it [...] I don't have a difference between my daughter who was born via surrogacy and my
six other children that I carried [...] People assume that I'm less of a mom,
that she's less of my daughter [...] We were looking through some articles that
were written about my daughter and me [...] and they were really mean."
Snoops have been sticking their noses where they don't belong by prying into Kate Hudson's private
life. One major concern for these critics is her decision to have kids with different men.
As of 2023, she has three children with three different partners. She has one son each with
musicians Chris Robinson and Matt Bellamy, and a daughter with her current beau Danny Fujikawa.
When Hudson announced that she was pregnant with her third child in 2018,
she was met with unfortunately unsurprisingly sexist mom-shaming. As one person tweeted,
"How many baby daddies does Kate Hudson have?? Kate!!....
Keep your legs together for crying out loud!!"
While another snarked,
"[Congrats] Kate Hudson on your third baby daddy."
"Hey, good luck, you busy, busy mama."
"I know, thank you."
Needless to say, Hudson's family life is no one's business but her own, and she shouldn't
be forced to stay with ex-partners for the sake of upholding notions of a traditional
family. She opened up about the backlash during a 2022 interview with The Times, as she made it
clear that she has no interest in adhering to antiquated family values. As she put it,
"It might not look traditional from the outside, but on the inside I feel like we're killing it.
The unit that I've created with three children with three different fathers is a seriously
strong unit... I'm not interested in forcing some conventional idea of love or marriage."
Clearly, all that ultimately matters is that Hudson's children are loved by their parents.
In 2015, Cameron Diaz tied the knot with Good Charlotte lead guitarist Benji Madden.
Four years later, they welcomed her first child, a daughter named Raddix, via a surrogate.
Diaz was shamed right from the outset of her motherhood journey, with many speculating about
how the then-47-year-old could have conceived a child. Since Diaz did not initially reveal
whether she had given birth or used a surrogate, The Sun published an article with the headline,
"Why can't stars like Cameron Diaz admit having a baby in your 40s is usually down to a test tube?"
That's a silly assertion considering that women giving birth in their 40s is at an all time high;
in fact, in the UK, more women are reportedly giving birth in their 40s than in their 20s. In a
2020 interview with Naomi Campbell, Diaz discussed the positives of having a child later in life.
"I really feel like this is my sweet spot and my happiest time in my life."
Ironically enough, Diaz had previously been shamed for not having children. In 2014,
The Telegraph asked her why she'd opted out of motherhood,
which led to a lengthy defense of her life choices. As she explained,
"If I wanted kids, at any point in life,
I would have them... It's not like I'm the spinster who didn't have a child."
In addition to speaking with Cameron Diaz about motherhood, British supermodel Naomi Campbell
has also had a baby later in life, and she was unfortunately also shamed for being an older mom.
In 2021, when she was 50 years old, she welcomed her first child. The
finger-wagging was pretty much immediate, with the Daily Mail speculating about whether or not
she utilized IVF or surrogacy, since she'd confirmed that her daughter wasn't adopted.
Reproductive scientist Joyce Harper claimed that Campbell was selling a
harmful idea to women in their 50s, as she told The Guardian,
"Celebrity pregnancies at advanced ages give women false hope about what is actually possible.
The reality is that it is very, very unlikely for a woman to naturally become pregnant at 50."
Meanwhile, the New York Post branded Campbell a "geriatric mom," a term
that many consider antiquated and misogynistic. Ultimately,
Campbell doesn't owe an explanation to anyone about her decision to become a mom. All that
matters is that she and her daughter are happy, which is evident judging by the elation the
model has expressed about motherhood. As she gushed to British Vogue in 2022,
"I can count on one hand the number of people who knew that I was having her.
But she is the biggest blessing I could ever imagine. It's the best thing I've ever done."
Olympic diver Tom Daley and his screenwriter husband Dustin Lance Black make for quite
the power couple. The dashing duo have two sons together, who were born in 2018 and 2023. Alas,
the birth of their first child, who was welcomed via surrogate, was mired in controversy.
For example, there was an article in the Daily Mail written by Richard Littlejohn, who
has a history of expressing anti-LGBTQ views. He contended that children should have a mother and
a father, while also calling Daley's decision to have a baby a "publicity stunt." He further wrote,
"Here we have two men drawing attention to the
fact that 'they' are having a baby. But where's the mom?"
Littlejohn went on to say,
"Can they please grow a pair — if that's not too 'transphobic' — and
stop pretending this is the new normal? Not in our house, it isn't [...] Still,
I'm looking forward to the photos of Tom Daley breastfeeding his new baby."
Black found himself startled by Littlejohn's article. As he noted to The Guardian,
"I was on the frontlines of marriage equality for half a decade, so I know what it is to
fight for what you care about. But we soon came to the conclusion that the way to address this
unexpected reaction was to shed as much light as possible; meet anger and hate with curiosity."
Black was then motivated to launch a podcast called Surrogacy: A Family Frontier to help
dispel myths surrounding surrogacy. In an interview with The Telegraph,
Daley addressed the homophobic shaming he faced for having children, as he explained,
"Lots of people say, 'why don't you adopt?' You wouldn't say that to a
straight couple. You wouldn't say: 'Why do you deserve to have a biological kid?'"
Soon after becoming engaged to tech entrepreneur Alexis Ohanian in 2016, tennis superstar Serena
Williams revealed that they were expecting their first child together. Their daughter Alexis
Olympia then arrived in September 2017. Sadly, Williams was subjected to racist hate for having
a mixed-race child. Retired tennis player Ilie Nastase, for one, remarked at a press conference,
"Let's see what color it has. Chocolate with milk?"
On Instagram, Williams called out Nastase, as she declared,
"It disappoints me to know we live in a society in which people like Ilie
Nastase can make such racist comments towards myself and [my] unborn child."
"You can't have a leader of tennis or any other
sport or any organization of any sort to make these types of statements."
Nastase justified his remarks by claiming that racial sensitivity isn't prevalent in
his native Romania, But that didn't prevent him from being given a four-year ban from
any official roles in tennis. In addition to the racist reactions, Williams was shamed for having
a baby while working. As history professor Lou Moore explained to Rewire News Group,
"There will be a certain segment of the population upset that she didn't
choose to be a full-time mother. That narrative won't leave women's sports."
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