guys at the gym, put some clothes on, you've got big muscles, so you are showing them,
have some courtesy and be modest.
Ladies, I will talk a little more to you because guys are visual, and I mean even in our church,
there are tons of women that are dressed in ways that draw attention to themselves. I
have had guys say, "I can't really worship, because I'm being distracted by this." Dress
for spiritual success. I know you've paid a lot of money for them, but keep them for
your husband, keep them for him, don't show them to us, we don't need to see them. Dress
for spiritual success. I know I just offended some of you, but deal with me.
Second thing if you are taking notes, I always say; keep four feet on the flour if you're
dating. Keep four feet on the floor. It's amazing what happens, and how safe you can
be when you keep four feet on the floor when you are dating. Do not get on the bed to do
your Bible study together and wrap your legs around each other, just keep four feet on
the floor. If you are watching a movie, keep four feet on the floor, it's pretty extreme,
but it's pretty dog-gone safe. When you don't, what happens is, guys sitting there, girl
takes her nice smooth-shaved legs and throws them up against his hairy legs. Hairy legs
meets shaved legs, clothes start flying, it just happens. I mean it just happens. Next
thing you know, someone's singing, "Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking
like a fool with their pants on the ground!" I got 50 bucks for that! My staff told me
that if I'd do that, I'd get 50 bucks! Fifty bucks, baby! Pay up, looking like a fool with
your 50 dollars in my pocket! Where were we? Yeah! Keep four feet on the
floor, baby!
Next thing if you are taking notes, no sleep overs or playing house. Very normal, isn't
it? It gets late you know, you are dating somebody you know, you can use my toothbrush,
you can wear my t-shirt, don't go home; we are just going to cuddle! Here snakey, snakey!
Here snakey, snakey! That doesn't sound right! I don't know, I'm sorry! Let's just move on!
Golly! Pants on the ground, pants on the ground!
Next thing, and again, this is extreme. But, you are dating, you want some extreme results.
I would suggest no tonsil hockey! No making out! Because, and I am serious about this,
and this isn't thus saith the Lord. This is thus Craig suggestive. There are a whole lot
of things between hello, my name is Sally and you know, there are a lot of things. If
you draw the line well before the I just don't want to have sex, and draw the line way back,
it's amazing how much margin safety you will have.
Amy and I, we waited until we were married to share in the gift of lovemaking, and we
were never ever tempted until we kissed. When we kissed the temptation rose. You know, just
her face close to mine, body close to body. After the kiss, I spent the rest of the time
fighting that woman off! I mean, she just, it was ridiculous! Or something like that,
I am a little foggy! But, it was when we did that, that all of a sudden the temptations
became much more. That's a real extreme statement, but if you want some different results, you
might need to do something different.
Another thing that I would suggest, is to avoid dangerous places. Whatever those would
be, and you are the only one that could know what is dangerous for you. It could be, you
know, going to the bars with people after work, or going to the clubs. Or, for you it
could be going to the chat rooms. For you, honestly, it could be going to the gym. Visually
you can't handle it. You know, just go buy you some P90X and get some Abs of Steel at
home and work out at home. If that is dangerous to you, then you avoid that. You may say,
"Well, that's very extreme." Yes it is, because we want extreme results. Whatever is dangerous
for you, I would recommend that you avoid.
Another thing that I am a firm believer in is monitoring your internet activity. I just
want to talk about this for a minute. When I was a kid, to come across some kind of pornographic
image, it was pretty hard to do. In today's world, on your phone or on your computer,
you've got access to more than any normal person would ever want to see. It is all right
there, one click away. Here is what I do, I have every computer that I have access to
has covenant eyes. There are many different sources and that is what I've used for years.
Every click that I make is recorded and is scored. Any time that I go anywhere that is
even marginally questionable, it flags it and my report is sent to two of my close friends
who are also on the board of directors at our church, which is tremendous motivation
to keep me from ever going anywhere that I shouldn't go. You say, "Well, Craig, you are
a pastor and you are married, is that something you struggle with?" I will be real honest,
at my age now, it's not nearly the temptation it was 10 years ago. It just really isn't.
Almost every day of the year, it's not a struggle for me. But, if it ever came one, I have margin
to protect me. I also want to say that iPhones; if you don't have one and maybe your kid does,
the pornographic apps that are available, you would be wise to help those you love to
create some sort of margin, because there is an enemy with a hook and some bait wanting
to take you out, so that one day you wake up and say, "I never thought it would happen
to me." And it costs you tremendously.
Another suggestion I have is to avoid time alone with the wrong people. In the old days,
I would have said avoid time alone with the opposite sex; but, in today's world, sometimes
the wrong people for some people are the same sex. Whoever the wrong people would be for
you, stay away from intimate situations. In my world, and on our staff, I would never
ride in a car with a woman, besides my wife. It's just too intimate. I would never be in
a closed-door setting. In the business world, it's totally normal for a business to send
a man and a woman off to an overnight trip together. I say insane. You might as well
put the bullet in and do this...just why? Is it okay? Sure. Is there anything wrong
with it? No! Is it wise? No! There's nothing wise about that at all. Nothing wise at all.
Avoid even intimate conversations or inappropriate conversations with people that you are with.
Avoid time alone with the wrong people.
Then finally, I would say guard your eyes, your mind, and your heart, with everything
in you. Guard them, guard them. What does that mean? Be careful little eyes what you
read. If you are reading some romance novels, or reading magazines that maybe aren't really
bad, but they arouse something in you that is not holy and honor. You may say, "Well,
I'm not looking at pornography, but I have got my Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Magazine
in and I can't wait to get past the articles. That is something that might be considered
a hint of morality. You know, praise God, the Victoria Secret Magazine came, I'm going
to shop for some lingerie for my wife. You know, is that honoring God? Is that something
that would make your wife feel special and treasured? Watch what you watch; television,
movies, the kind of conversations you are in. Think about your mind, what you are fantasizing
about, the memories, take those thoughts captive, make them obedient to Christ. Do what Job
did, "I made a covenant with my eyes, not to look lustfully at a woman." Guard your
eyes, your mind, and your heart.
You may say, "Craig, this is so extreme." Yes! It is! Flee sexual immorality, don't
flirt, flee! I've never known a single person who said, "It all started when I created a
moral margin." But, I know a lot of people who have said, "I never thought it would happen
to me."
I have all of these barriers and margin in my life and more, not because I really need
them; but, because I don't want to live without them. I want my sons to know that they have
a father who is a man of God, who is not perfect, but who is seeking God and who is living pure,
by the power of the Holy Spirit. I want my daughters to know that they have a father
who does not objectify women, and who always treats their mother with honor and respect.
I want them to seek after a man like their father, not one that I would never want them
to have. I want my wife to never worry a day in her life about my integrity and my devotion
to her. I want her to feel secure and blessed and treasured and protected. I want my God,
the one who sent His Son, Jesus, who pulled me out of sin and filth and horror and transformed
me, I want Him to be honored with my body, with my heart, with my soul, and with my flee
sexual immorality. When the rest of the world says it's normal, it's no big deal. I mean
the line is way over there. You would say, you know, it's wise to step back and to honor
God with moral margin. Different, weird, yes! Because we want something more than what the
world settles for. We want to live and serve and honor and please God.
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