- Checking, checking, one two, checking.
(tapping and hight pitched humming)
(exclaiming)
Welcome, everyone, to Five Minute Dating!
I hope that tonight,
many of you will finally meet your soulmates.
(door creaks) Please wear the name tag
for the whole session.
- Oh, hello.
Sorry I'm a bit late.
- Okay!
Well, I think this week, we'll have the females stay
at the tables, and the men will move around.
So if you'd like to have a seat first, at one of the tables.
(ticking)
Hey, grab a seat, the first session's about to start.
- Is there a particular seat I should, oh dear.
- Now remember everyone, please remain silent
until the buzzer goes off.
(buzzes) (ticking)
- So Emily, it's a pleasure to meet you.
- No, just don't say anything, okay?
Let's not make this any more difficult than it needs to be.
- Okay.
(buzzes)
- What happened to your face?
- (laughs) It's quite a funny story, actually.
(buzzes)
(whimpering restrainedly)
You don't have to be afraid, I'm truly quite harmless.
(wails)
(buzzes)
(gags)
(buzzes)
- Why do people call you Slash?
- Well, probably due to the way my face looks,
it's quite hideous, really. (laughs)
(buzzes)
- You poor, poor, poor lonely man.
Poor lonely man, poor!
(buzzes)
- (scoffs) Yeah, whatever.
(buzzes) - Fantastic set up
for the dating service, wouldn't you agree?
- I don't know, you're not really my type.
It's just your face, it's so...
(buzzes)
- Hello there, I'm Slash, how do you do?
- I'm Sarah.
- Why hello, Sarah.
So what do you do for a living?
- Oh, I'm a kindergarten teacher.
That's quite lovely, and do you, oh.
(stammers) Your eye.
- Oh, excuse me, I'm so sorry.
- It's okay!
(stammers) Sometimes, that happens to me.
(slow, somber piano music)
(ticking)
- What's wrong?
- Oh, sorry, I was just looking at my...
- I guess I'm not really what people expect at these things.
I know I'm hideous, okay?
- Sarah, I don't think you're hideous.
I think you're beautiful.
(buzzes)
- I think you're beautiful, too.
- Sarah, would you like to come up for dinner tonight?
(gentle piano music)
(flickering)
(squelching)
(ticking)