[LAUGHS]
>> Greg: THEY MOCKED HIM FOR
HIS BINDERS BUT JOE BIDEN NEEDS
A SHEET OF REMINDERS.
ON THURSDAY THE DAY OF THE WEEK
PRESENT JOE BIDEN SHOWED CAMERAS
A NOTE PREPARED FOR HIM BY WHITE HOUSE STAFF FOR MEETING
WHITE HOUSE STAFF FOR MEETING
WITH WIND INDUSTRY EXECUTIVES.
[LAUGHS]
PREPARED INSTRUCTIONS FOR JOE TO
TELL YOU ENTER THE ROOSEVELT
ROOM AND SAY HELLO TO THE PARTICIPANT.
TAKE YOUR SEAT THE NEXT ONE COME
ON PRESS ENTERS THE NEW GIVE A
BRIEF COMMENT WITH A
PARENTHETICAL STATEMENT READING
2 MINUTES.
PRESS THE PARTS HE’S THEN TOLD
AND THEN YOU ASK AND THEN YOU
THANK THEM AND THEY DO DEPART
AND THANK GOD FOR THE LAST ONE
OR HE’D STILL BE IN THE
ROOSEVELT ROOM TALKING TO THE
WALL.
COURSE EVERY PRESIDENT IS GIVING
STAFF NOTES THESE INSTRUCTIONS
WOULD OFFEND AN 8-YEAR-OLD BUT
THIS IS IN THE FIRST TIME AS
NOTES IS BEEN CAUGHT ON CAMERA
JUST LAST WEEK OUR CREW SPOTTED
THIS ONE DURING A MEETING OF THE
PRESS LET’S SEE IF WE CAN READ
THESE.
OVER THE FIRST ON BEFORE
APPROACHING THE PODIUM CHECK TO
SEE IF YOU’RE WEARING PANTS.
DID YOU GO BOOM BOOM FIRST?
OMEGA BOOM BOOM AND IF NECESSARY
A PP.
THE THIRD ONE IF YOU CAN SEE
THAT IT’S MAKE SURE YOU TELL
JILL FIRST YOU FIRST YOU BOMB A
COUNTRY UNLESS IT’S CANADA.
FOR NUCLEAR WAR HIT THE RIGHT
BUTTON THE RED ONE FOR PUTTING
PUSH THE BLUE.
YOUR BUNKER IS UNDER THE
GEORGETOWN APPLEBEE’S THEY HAVE
YOUR SLIPPERS AND MILK SHAKE.
LASTLY, DON’T SHOW NOTES TO
CAMERAS.
[LAUGHS]
GOOD ADVICE FOR ANYONE SO WHAT
GIVES JOE?
>> HEY COME ON, COME ON MAN.
EVERYONE KEEPS NOTES ALL RIGHT?
IT WILL SKIP NOTES?
EINSTEIN.
[LAUGHS]
AND LINCOLN REMEMBER THAT?
FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO
HE KEPT LOOKING DOWN.
I WAS THERE I REMEMBER IT.
[LAUGHS]
I HAVE ONE MORE THING THAT I
WANT TO SAY ALL RIGHT?
YOU LEANING INTO THE CREEPY
WHISPER THING THAT YOU ARE KNOWN FOR.
WERE GONNA BACK BETTER.
>> Greg: I’D BE A HYPOCRITE OF
ANY AND POINT OUT THAT I HAVE
NOTES THEY ARE VERY COLLOCATED
MY NOTES ARE VERY OBLIGATED
SECTIONS OF TEXT.
KAT I WOULD BE A HYPOCRITE.
THE POINT OUT THAT MY NOTES WERE
HUGE LARGE COMPLICATED SECTIONS
OF TEXT LIKE I JUST READ THAT.
DO YOU THINK THAT THIS WILL
FORCE HIM TO HAVE MORE COMPLEX
NOTES?
BUT THAT’LL BE THE THING LIKE
OPEN LEAP WE ARE IN TROUBLE CASE
WE GET CAUGHT AGAIN LET’S HAVE
COMPLEX NOTES.
B5 NO, IF I THINK YOU NEED A SHE
LIKE THAT AND PROBABLY A SHE
LIKE THAT IS NOT TO BE ENOUGH TO
HELP YOU.
BECAUSE WHAT IF HE FORGETS WHAT
HE DID AND DIDN’T DO YET.
HE’S NOT EVEN CHECKING IT OFF
WHAT IF HE’S LIKE I DID IT TAKE
MY SEAT OR NOT?
[LAUGHS]
WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE WHO
IS GONE WITH STATE HE IS IN
SEVERAL TIMES.
>> Greg: HE NEEDS TO CROSS IT
OFF.
>> Kat: I WOULD ADVISE THEM TO
BRING A PEN HE SITS DOWN
ALL RIGHT I AM SITTING.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Greg: THE NEXT THING IS
CROSSING IT OFF.
THEY HAVE TO HAVE A THING THAT
DOES CROSS.
I COULD GO ON FOREVER.
IT COULD GO ON FOR EVER.
IT’S NOT A CHEAT SHEET IS LIKE
BASIC INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIKE
INSERTING BATTERIES INTO A
REMOTE CONTROL.
IT’S LIKE IT I KEY AT THE LITTLE
SHEET THAT YOU GET WITH A A LITT
IKEA DRESSER THAT YOU NEVER PUT
TOGETHER.
>> THE LINE THAT REALLY STRUCK ME WAS THAT YOU TAKE YOUR SEAT
ME WAS THAT YOU TAKE YOUR SEAT
LAUGHTER SMACK STOMACH TO TO >>
THIS CARD DOESN’T FACE THE FRONT
FRONT.
LAST WEEK EARLIER THIS WEEK HE
WAS ASKED WHAT ABOUT THE
TERRORISTS?
HE SAID THAT WE HAVEN’T MADE UP
MY MIND YET.
IS HE THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE?
WHAT WAS THAT?
[LAUGHTER]
WHO IS RUNNING HIS BRAIN?
WHO’S IN CHARGE?
>> Greg: THINK THAT WEIRD
PIXAR MOVIE REMEMBER WHERE ALL
THE KID HAD ALL THOSE EMOTIONS
IN HER HEAD I CAN REMEMBER IT.
>> TO THE VOTERS FILM SCAMMED?
DO THEY FEEL SCAMMED?
>> Greg: JOEY DOESN’T HAVE
STOLEN VALOR HE IS STILL IN
COGNITION.
>> Johnny: HE’S NOT FOOLING
ANYONE.
THIS LITTLE ITSELF IS NOT A BIG
DEAL.
BUT THIS IS A HUGE STORY IN THE
CONTEXT OF THE MAN SAYING I’VE
GOT ONE WORD FOR THIS COUNTRY.
[LAUGHTER]
LOOK AT THAT AND IF IT WAS
ANYONE ELSE IN ANY OTHER SETTING
WE ARE CONCERNED.
AMONG DEMOCRATS WERE ALLOWED TO
QUESTION THEM WHEN I CALLED HIM
CRAZY OR NOT DIAGNOSING THEM
WITH DEMENTIA WERE TO SAY THAT
MR. PRESIDENT COMPLETE A
SENTENCE.
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT DOESN’T HAPPEN OVER AND
OVER AGAIN AND WHEN YOU FOLLOW
ON TOP OF THAT A CHEAT SHEET
THAT TELLS YOU PRETTY BASIC
THINGS LIKE LISTEN OR FOR
GENERALS THEY GET CHEAT SHEETS
LIKE THIS ALMOST AS DUMB DOWN
BUT IN THE MARINE CORPS WOULD
MAKE FUN OF WHAT WERE DOING
ORGANA BREAKDOWN BARNEY STYLE
ORGAN MAKE IT SO EASY THAT ANY
IDIOT IN THE WORLD AND DO IT
I’LL GIVE YOU A CHEAT SHEET.
>> Greg: WERE PRESIDENT BUSH’S
NOTES LIKE THIS?
>> NO THEY WERE MORE LIKE WHO IS
NEXT?
>> Dana: YOU’D HAVE SOME NOTES
BUT IT’S EXTREMITY A SPECIFIC
NEED TO WONDER DOES HE ACTUALLY
NEED THAT AS A DISSENTER FORGOT
SOME TO DO SO THEY CAN JUSTIFY
THEIR EXISTENCE THEY AUTOMATE
THE CARD TODAY I NEED EIGHT
POINTS SOME TO MAKE SURE THAT
ALL EIGHT OF THOSE POINTS BUT HE
WON A POINT OUT OF THE TOP OF
THE CARD IT SAYS OFFSHORE WIND
DROP BY A SEQUENCE OF EVENTS.
IN THE VERY SAME TIME THIS
MEETING WAS GOING ON AT THE
WHITE HOUSE HE SENT ALL THE OIL
EXECUTIVES TO DOWN THE STREET TO
ME WITH THE SECRETARY OF ENERGY
AT THE EXACT SAME TIME BECAUSE
HE DIDN’T WANT TO MEET WITH THEM
BUT HE WOULD MEET WITH THE WIND
GUYS AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
>> Greg: WITH ITS AMAZING HAVE
SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH THE
WIND GUYS.
HE PRODUCES A LOT OF IT.
[LAUGHTER]