Where would I be without you, Mr. Mittens?
It's not a meme; it's a fact:
And you don't have nine lives!
Do you think you could survive...
...if u has no cheezburger?
This is 'What If,'
and here's what would happen if there were no more cats.
The goddess of war, the king of the jungle,
the world's fastest creature, and your home's biggest sleeper.
Go ahead and call your cat lazy, but keep in mind,
you're talking about the 6th most successful hunting animal in the world.
Compare that to the tiger's 5% kill rate,
and you'll realize that Millie isn't just a cute, little cuddle monster;
she's a deadly assassin.
Cats sleep for roughly 16 hours a day, and spend the rest of their time
prowling, hunting, practicing, and preparing for the worst:
It's not really something we need to worry about,
I mean, come on, rats taking over the world?
That's impossible!
Not in a world without cats!
We humans like to give ourselves credit for being innovative and adaptable
when it comes to solving the world's biggest problems.
And yet, while rats may or may not have
spread a plague that killed up to 200 million people,
we still haven't come up with a fool-proof way of controlling their numbers.
Sure, there are rat traps and rat poisons, but really, cats do most of the work,
killing roughly 20 billion small mammals every year.
So without them, we'd be sick, starving, and dying fast from cuteness withdrawal.
You know rats are gross. But how gross?
Put it this way, one rat carries thousands of pathogens on just one centimeter of its fur;
and any one of these pathogens could be fatal to you.
But what are your chances of getting sick?
Well, at the rate rats reproduce, the odds are stacked against you.
Did you know that one pair of rats can produce over 2,000 offspring per year?
That means that within three years,
that same couple could have over half a billion descendants.
This isn't your average infestation; it's an epidemic.
It's not just rat bites that will make you sick;
rat excrement can toxify the air you breathe,
causing your lungs to fill with fluid, resulting in a quick death.
You might evade the infirmary, but not famine.
There's a reason why farmers keep barn cats,
and that's to prevent an all-out assault on grain stores!
Rats don't just go for cheese; they go for everything.
Grain and produce are the staples we need, and the food rats love.
Without cats, there's a lot of rat-mouths to feed.
Our agricultural systems would collapse,
and now with disease rampant, and food scarce,
humans would be forced to scrounge for scraps...
...kind of like rats!
But humans aren't the only ones who have to worry.
Rats are also responsible for 40% and 60% of all seabird and reptile extinctions.
So, if we're to stand a chance against this...
we've got to band together, hand in paw.
Respect your cat, and be grateful for the gifts it leaves on your doorstep.
The world would be bleak without their presence!