- On the one hand, it feels good.
On the other hand, you're teaching your kids
that you can destroy people's property
if you're not happy with them.
Did he just punch his leg, his own leg?
And then his face? He slapped his face?
Welcome to "Therapist Reacts RAW",
where I react to videos that my producers throw at me.
I have no idea what I'm reacting to.
You're getting the real stuff right here, right now.
Okay, we'll see how much of this is abusive
and how much of this is healthy parenting.
So let's buckle up.
(jazzy music)
- [Narrator In Video] There's no feeling more satisfying
than seeing spoiled kids get exactly what they deserve.
- I've got a kid who has like, life karma.
Where we don't even have to own him.
Like, he'll throw a tantrum and he'll get angry,
and then he'll throw a rubber ball,
like, scream and throw a rubber ball against the wall.
Then it'll hit him in the nose and then he'll cry,
and we'll be like, I don't know what to tell you, man.
But this is where the parents own them back,
so let's see what happens.
- [Narrator In Video] This first dad was sick
of his daughter posting things about him on Facebook,
so he destroys his daughter's laptop.
- He looks like a guy who would shoot a laptop.
- "It's not my responsibility to clean up your (beep)."
I love this part.
"You could just pay me for all the (beep)
that I do around the house."
Seriously. Are you kidding me?
Pay you for chores? Are you outta your mind?
This right here?
- Yeah.
- It's my .45.
- I mean as long as he paid for that laptop,
I think he has every right to destroy it.
- [Narrator In Video] So she throws her phone
in the family pool.
- I'm so sick of this shit.
This is what, this is what I'm talking about.
You and this freaking phone all the time, give me it.
- What are you doing?
- Give me it now.
- Stop.
- No, no, that's it, I had enough. I had enough.
- What are you doing?
- On the one hand, it feels good.
On the other hand, you're teaching your kids
that you can destroy people's property
if you're not happy with them.
- I have to text people back.
- Why?
- Because I have to.
- No, that's it, no.
- [Man With Camera] Oh my God.
- Stop filming. I'm sick of this!
(indistinct yelling)
- I love that the daughter's just, "My baby."
Just like immediately jumps in the water after the phone.
- [Narrator In Video] This next father gets sick of his son
being spoiled, so he fakes that there's something exciting
behind the front door,
And when his son goes to check, he gets locked out.
- [Dad In Video] Because I love you.
- Mm hmm.
- [Dad In Video] And I really, really love you.
- Yeah?
- [Dad In Video] I have a serious surprise for you.
- No, this isn't cool.
This is just teaching your kids that they can't trust you.
Like if you need to give out a consequence
then just be straight up about it.
But this is just delighting
and getting your kid all hyped up
and then hurt, making 'em.
- [Dad In Video] You always tell me,
don't tell me what to do. Your surprise is freedom!
- [Boy In Video] Yeah! What?
What do you mean by freedom?
- [Dad In Video] Freedom means, get the hell outta my house,
and go have your freedom. Don't come back.
- [Narrator In Video] This next dad
breaks this guy's Xbox games
as he is sick of him lying around the house, jobless.
- [Young Man] You're insane! Why are you,
what are you gonna do, mow them over?
- [Man On Lawnmower] Yeah, I'm gonna mow them over,
that way you get outta your room for a little while.
Maybe you get a job, you've been out of school
three months now.
- Gaming is gonna be my job!
I'm never gonna quit playing!
(lawnmower revving)
(man laughing)
- Ahhhh! No!
- Is that real? Are those real reactions?
That is real spoiled.
- [Narrator In Video] -who is always playing Fortnite.
The mother takes the son's PS4 and throws it out the window.
- [Mom] No, I-
- [Child] Give me it back!
- I want the other kids-
- Give me it back! Please!
- I mean, this could be remedied generally speaking by:
You lock up the console.
- [Woman In Video] I got your surprise right here!
- [Man In Video] Surprise?
- And they have like a half an hour a day or an hour a day,
if they finish their homework or something like that,
like, you don't need to go to this extreme.
- Oh my God, please don't do it!
- [Man In Video] What? What is she doing?
- [Child] Don't do it!
- Why are we filming this and posting this online though?
Like, are we delighting in the children's misery?
- [Narrator In Video] This next mother takes her son's
laptop out of his hands.
- I'm not saying the kids are right, but.
- [Mom] No. Now.
- Five minutes!
- No, doesn't he need that for school?
- [Narrator In Video] This next dad breaks-
- What if he locked her out? And he's like,
freedom mom!
- [Narrator In Video] -all day.
- [Dad In Video] Damn chores, you're being ungrateful
as hell!
- They were already done.
- [Dad In Video] All you gotta do is
some simple few chores!
- I didn't want to.
- [Dad In Video] You're on the damn phone all the damn time,
- [Woman Filming] That's why you're getting in trouble.
- [Dad In Video] You need to get up off that (beep).
You wanna text on the damn phone, gimme that!
- [Son In Video] Stop! No, no. No! Stop!
- [Dad In Video] You wanna text?
- Stop. Oh my God, that's my phone!
- [Dad In Video] I don't care!
- You're pay- look what you did to my phone!
- [Dad In Video] Who do you think bought in the first place?
- Okay, like, I thought this would be more fun
than it would be. This is actually,
the parents are responding to childish behavior
with childish behavior.
And they're throwing tantrums that are equally embarrassing,
trying to make a point?
The point is, what, that I'm the parent,
and you will do what I say? That's not parenting.
Your role as a parent is not to be the authority
that the child has to obey,
your role as a parent is to teach your children that
choices have consequences.
So instead of "gimme the phone" or "I'm gonna destroy it",
or "I'm so sick of you doing this so I'm
throwing it in the pool", or "I'm smashing it with a hammer"
or "I'm throwing it out a window".
The solution is, "Hey, so this is a privilege."
Like, what you have a right to from me is to not starve,
to not go naked, to have a place to sleep.
That's what I'm required to give you by the state, right?
And just by good ethics and good morals.
You don't have the right to an Xbox.
You don't have the right to a phone.
You don't have the right to a laptop.
Those things are privileges,
and privileges are tied to responsibilities.
So here's how this is gonna work.
If you do X, Y, Z, then you get a phone.
If you fail to do X, Y, Z, the phone is confiscated.
If you do X, Y, Z, you have an hour of
Xbox time in the evening, right? That sort of thing.
Instead, they're just saying, "Get off!" "No."
"Get off!" "No." "Get off!" "No."
You're not obeying me, all hell's gonna break loose.
And what you're teaching your kids is power struggle:
who has power and who doesn't,
who has control and who doesn't.
And later on, these kids are gonna be seeking to be the ones
with power and control in their relationships.
So, I mean, I get it. I get the anger.
I get the frustration of kids doing this.
I have five children, I know.
But this, this, this is, it's not helping.
It's like the old adage:
"If you hit me, you teach me to hit".
If you teach me to destroy things, when I feel disrespected,
I'm gonna go to jail
for property destruction in a few years.
And when I say, where did you learn to do this?
I'm gonna say from you, all right.
I learned it from watching you!"
- No, what are you doing? Stop!
- That was your (bleep) Jordans!
- Oh my God, stop!
- Now get off your (bleep) and get some chores done!
- Dad's wearing a Spider-Man shirt.
Dad, with great power comes great responsibility.
Come on, man. Don't be cussing out your kid.
- [Narrator In Video] This next dad throws his teenager's
PS4 out the window after the kid back talks his father.
- Xbox, what are you on Xbox for?
- Sorry. Get out.
- Larry.
- [Child] There's nothing to do.
Oh my God!
- Holy (bleep). Holy (bleep).
- Oh my God! Oh my God! Ahh! Ahh! My XBOX!
- That's how people respond when actual children die,
you know, like that's my child fell out the window.
I get it. There's an attachment there.
Look, I'm still a person. I get it.
There is a certain vigilante justice satisfaction
in watching all this. I get why these are viral,
but you're not asking me if I think this is entertaining.
Oh, you are? Yeah, no, this is entertaining as hell.
There's a certain guilty pleasure factor
to all of this.
But the flip side of it is this is not great parenting,
And I do worry about these relationships moving forward,
'cause we, online, see a video, we laugh, we move on.
There's real trust being broken here.
There's real relationships that are gonna have a hard time
coming back from this.
- [Narrator In Video] This father makes his daughter
apologize to her cashier and the whole shop,
as she stole some items.
- [Dad In Video] This is $11. $11, money in your pocket,
you still stealing.
Go and tell them what you did.
Tell her what you did.
Open your mouth.
Tell her what you did.
Show her. Show her what you did.
- As sad and painful is this one is to watch,
I don't think this is bad.
I have done something similar with one of my kids.
- [Dad In Video] They got police in the back.
- Because I want them to learn to be accountable
and to be accountable to the people that you hurt
and it is uncomfortable and it is embarrassing.
It also teaches an important lesson.
- [Dad In Video] And you won't do what no more?
I can't hear you. All right.
- The only thing I would say is that after that,
you need to follow up with what's called
an increase of love. Your kid needs to know that,
though the behavior wasn't appropriate, you're proud of them
for taking ownership and that you love them,
and that you care about their future
and who they grow up to be.
And that that's why that happened.
So if you're going to go hard like that,
which, sometimes you do as a parent,
you also need to balance it.
Like, never go harder than you're willing to provide
comfort and love afterwards.
'Cause if you can't bind up the wounds,
then you have no right inflicting them.
And that's not, I don't mean physical wounds.
Sometimes when you have to be sharp with your kids,
it hurts. It hurts emotionally.
And that isn't always a bad thing
and it isn't always abusive,
but it does need to be followed up by an increase in love.
- Oh my God, you deleted it! What is your problem?
- [Woman In Video] Break that remote and you gotta
buy your own-
- Get outta my room!
- Oh yeah? That door's coming off!
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!
- Listen. We all have hobbies.
I've responded to the parents
and what I think good parenting is.
Now I'm reaching out to you, the youth.
If you are reacting over an object
the way you would over a human being,
being thrown out a window or dropped into a pool,
or run over with a car.
It's time to reprioritize your life. You will be happier.
If you haven't experienced life enough that
that is your reaction to an Xbox being thrown into a pool,
you need some acquaintance with real problems.
And for some of you, you're like, "I have had real problems,
that's why the Xbox is my escape." I get it.
Live a life, live a full life. Be responsible.
Not all parents handle things the best way.
Not all parents are fair and reasonable.
But the fact is, if you're living under someone's roof
you can do some chores.
You can interact with the people that you live with.
It's not too much to ask.
If you enjoyed this video,
check out my reaction to parents who regret having children
which seems apropos seeing some of the children's
behavior in these videos, my goodness.
What do you do if you feel like you should never have
been a parent? how do you handle that? Here's my thoughts.
What do you think about these videos? Are they fun?
Are they great entertainment?
Do these kids get exactly what they deserve?
Is this exploitation? Is this hurtful? Is this harmful?
Is this good parenting? Do you disagree with me?
Do you agree with me? I want to know in the comments below.
As always like, subscribe, click the bell,
pass this along to your friends
and let me know what you would like me to react
and respond to, and keep shining because we need your light.
I'm Jonathan Decker signing off.
And here's that video I was telling you about.
You're gonna wanna check that out right now. Right. Now.
Come on! Oh, check the video please. Don't ahh-!