- It seems like he's coming back,
but you are not sure what he actually wants.
(soft upbeat music)
Hello, my name is Greta Bereisaite.
I'm dating and relationship coach for women.
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And just before I will share with you four steps
how to behave
when your guy that you really want
is finally coming back to you
but you're unsure about his intentions towards you,
don't forget to take my free self awareness test
to find out are you a woman of high value
or low value which I will drop down
in the video description box below.
And ladies just want to make this clear.
When I talk about being a woman of high value
or low value,
I want you to understand
that in God's eyes we all have exactly the same value
and God loves us all the same.
But when I say high value or low value,
what I mean is when somebody's practicing
attractive high value behaviors.
And when someone is practicing
unattractive low value behaviors okay?
So just because you are low value
it doesn't mean you don't have value.
It just means you are practicing low value behaviors
at this time being.
So let's talk about how to properly get a guy back
after the breakup.
So the breakup that I am referring here to
is if let's say it is just did not work out.
He has done some mistakes,
you have done some mistakes,
slowly the relationship kind of fall apart
and you guys experienced the breakup.
So maybe you behaved in some toxic, low value ways
which he found unattractive
and slowly started to lose attraction for you.
And perhaps, maybe he behaved in some low value ways
which you found unattractive
and didn't want to stay with him anymore.
However, now sometime has passed.
Some of the memories from the past relationship
are kind of flashing back to you
and the guys seems to be coming around as well
but he's not offering to have you back properly.
He is not there with the ring proposing to marry you,
just kind of slowly coming in
and you just don't know what's happening,
how you should behave
because you kind of do want to have him back.
But at the same time
you don't want to scare him off either.
So the step number one to take in this case
would be reflect
why the relationship has not worked out before.
As I said,
if a relationship has not worked out in the past,
there are reasons for it.
And same as you are missing him,
same he is probably missing you as well.
However, he's not coming at you very strong
because the breakup did happen.
And you both kind looking at things logically, right?
Cause it's like if the breakup happened
there were reasons for it.
However, now you both are missing each other
after a period of time
and you are kind of thinking like
should we go back together?
Should we not?
What if the breakup will happen again?
Because as majority of us know,
many people don't invest time
in growth and change, et cetera.
So if the person is not willing to grow
and if you are not willing to grow
you will start to experience the same problems
in a relationship
and things will fall apart again, right?
So he kind of wants you,
therefore he's kind of saying hi by waving at you
but he's not coming at you full on
because he is not sure,
he is kind of even scared to take both steps
so the breakup does not happen again.
So the number one is to understand the whole situation.
Why is he not jumping on you
asking for that relationship again?
A lot of ladies really expect a lot
this unrealistic approach from men
when the nasty breakup happened.
And I think it's a very unrealistic approach
because if the breakup happened,
because both people made mistakes
it's really unrealistic for ladies to think
that if you gave a guy some space
he's gonna run back to you
cause he misses you like crazy and propose to you.
Men are logical.
He's not going to run back,
propose to a woman who he fell apart with in a relationship.
You know, he's gonna run back to propose to a woman
who he really loved, admired, adored
and was really attracted to in the relationship
not proposed to a woman
who he kind of fell out of love with
and things just fell apart
cause everything was so toxic.
So if you think that just by giving a guy space,
a month, two months or three months,
by not being in contact with him
that he will run back to you, proposing to you
even if you had a toxic relationship,
that is a very very unrealistic approach,
which takes me to the step number two.
He is missing you, but he is not sure.
Therefore he is kind of lingering around saying, hi
not jumping on you
because he's kind of observing you
and perhaps thinking about taking things slow
as he doesn't want to fall into that trap
of a relationship
where of a toxic things happen again right?
So following to the number three step would be,
don't jump on him, okay?
A lot of ladies when the guy comes back to you
and you feel like
you still have very strong feelings for him.
A lot of girls literally jump on an ex
whenever he waves at them,
they're like, "Wow, hooray.
This guy I was crazy in love with
and did a million of mistakes.
You know, he just kind of waved at me or said hi
and he's trying to start a conversation with me
and I don't know what he wants,
but I really want him back."
And then the guy says, "Hi or how are you?"
The conversation continues for a few days.
Few days later, girls literally get very impatient
and we jump on a guy,
pushing him into a corner
saying, "What is it that you want?
I want the relationship.
I want to take things further, et cetera, et cetera."
And this is how we really scare guys off
because if things fell apart
because you guys had a toxic relationship
and now after a few days of talking to him,
you're cornering him
and saying, "I want us to get back together
and have a relationship again and try all over again."
He is gonna be wary of it
but he's scared to fall into those toxic patterns again.
And by jumping on him like that,
we're also pursuing him.
And of course, when women pursue men we turn them off
because we are behaving very be masculine.
Which takes me to the step number four,
go at his pace.
You know, for example, he said, "Hi, Greta, how you doing?"
I'll say "Hi, I'm doing great."
It's time you let a guy to message you again.
Then you let the guy to message you again.
Then perhaps you message him first
if he calls you later,
you pick up
but you don't bring up the relationship
that you guys had.
You kind of just have this relaxed, easy approach.
And you nearly like start things fresh.
You start things without bringing all those past issues
and without talking about them.
Now, the reason you don't talk about the issues
is because many times
talking and communication with words does not help.
It just brings back all the past problems.
What does work is communication with your actions.
Communication with your boundaries.
What works is taking a different approach
to dating and relationships.
However, there are many different approaches,
therefore you have to make sure
that you're taking the right approach,
the approach that works,
as I say, the high value approach.
So when a guy is coming at you slowly
let him lead at his pace
and just have a very chilled, laid back approach.
If things are unclear
you don't know what's going on, you know
and you don't want to feel like you're wasting your time
but then you still are not together,
keep your options open.
But with the guy that you want,
let him lead you at his pace
and take very, very chilled approach
and strong big words like,
together,
a relationship,
where is this going?
Do you want to get back together?
Why are you coming back to me?
These words should not even enter your vocabulary.
As it may come across as too much pressure
to a person that is just gently taking few steps forward
towards you.
And the next step would be number five
is handling this situations differently in a future.
So I'll give you a couple examples for that.
Usually things fall apart,
the relationship becomes toxic
and then eventually
people start to lose attraction for each other.
Is we behave in that low value way.
So for example,
when you start to not trust the person
and when you don't trust the person
you can become very controlling.
You can become very possessive
because you are feeling very insecure,
when you feel very insecure
very likely to blame the person for things
that they have not done
because you are feeling insecure.
You're are also very likely to lose emotional control.
And all of these are very, very toxic behaviors
but long term, turn the other person off, right?
The other unattractive behaviors
to a man if you are in a relationship with a guy
or just dating is when you're behaving masculine.
When you're taking a man's job
and you start to pursue a guy.
So if you are asking him out,
if you are texting him first,
if you are calling him first,
if you are very flirty in your messages,
if you are hinting
and showing to him that you are really into him,
all of these behaviors are very masculine behaviors
because it's showing too much interest towards the guy,
it's pursuing a man too much.
And you know, if a guy is a masculine guy
he doesn't want to date another man.
He's actually looking for somebody
that can compliment him which is a feminine woman.
So therefore, when the ex is slowly lingering back to you
go at his pace
and replace the unattractive behaviors with attractive ones.
So the breakup does not happen in the future.
Ladies, if you would like to know
how to be a woman of high value,
a characteristics of a high value woman,
how to set boundaries with people,
how to control your emotions,
how to be a challenge for a man.
The differences between men and women,
games men play on women
so you don't get manipulated
and used and abused in your relationship.
Have all of these videos for sale
in my high value women package
which you will find on my website.
And I will put a link in the video description box below
and as a pinned comment under this video.
So ladies, I hope you enjoyed my video.
If you liked it please press like,
let me know in the comments below, what did you think?
Join Greta's high value women's school
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and bring out the best in our men.
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and thank you for watching again.
Kisses from Dorset.