- Are you frustrated sometimes when you wanna talk
to the people close to you.
Maybe your parents, your son, daughter or your spouse
or loved ones and they just don't listen to you.
You get frustrated.
Why don't you get me?
Why don't you listen to me, right?
(upbeat music)
what's wrong with you?
Don't you get it, I said this a million times.
That you get very very frustrated,
they're not listening to you.
So, I will maybe in business setting that as a leader,
as a CEO, as a manager, as a director, as sales director.
You talk to people.
My goodness, why don't they get it?
What's wrong right?
And you keep saying the same thing again and again
and they just don't listen to you.
So how do you solve this problem?
Now remember, back then when I was going to high school
in Canada, in Vancouver, I had no friends.
Right, because I was very much an introvert.
I was very shy because I couldn't speak a language.
When I first arrived to this country,
I couldn't speak a word of English.
So, I was very afraid to talk to people.
Of course, when you're afraid to talk to people,
no one will listen.
And I remember, I would try to communicate very very,
even simple language, simple words with my classmates
and they were like, what?
What you say?
Pardon me?
and I would have to repeat the same thing
three, four, five times and 'cause they just won't listen.
And eventually, they'd pretty much just lose their patience.
They're like, ah, I cannot understand you man.
I cannot understand what you're talking about
so they don't wanna talk to me
cause they fear it's very troublesome for them, right.
So I know for a fact, when you see what I do
when I'm now communicating with you,
that I can speak, I can command an audience.
And our friends from all over the world that communication,
this is a learnable skill.
It is a what?
It is a learnable skill.
This is something that you can learn.
I could go from someone, who is a total introvert,
shy, no one would listen to me, to now
that people would listen to what I have to say, right.
What's the difference?
Number one, when you're communicating one on one,
when you are maybe English, I know I have a lot of friends
from outside North America,
or also minorities or immigrants.
If English is not your first language,
here are some of things that you can do. Here's what I did.
Number one, I was studying different types of books
and just looking at one word, and I would say
oh, that's a word that I don't understand
and I would just write it on a little index card
and I would look at it and I would pronounce it
many, many, many, many, many, many times,
many, many, many times.
Right, so I would do that, and I'll pronounce it.
So it's one word, one word.
And slow down, because sometimes
when English is your second language, you wanna speed up
because you're afraid that people would maybe judge you
and laugh at your pronunciation.
If anything, English is your second language, slow down.
Actually slow down and when I'm making video,
I would slow down a bit, so you would get the word.
I don't speak perfect English, I still
don't speak perfect English, right.
Forget that sh*t.
Doesn't matter, when you're expressing yourself,
but you have to make sure that people
can understand you clearly.
Second tip, that I wanna give you is
if you want people to listen to you, you also have
to be interested, instead of interesting.
A lot of people, when they talk to people,
they want to talk, right.
They want to almost get their point across very,
very quickly in a short period of time,
instead of listening and asking questions.
Its much more powerful, when you're asking questions.
You want people to listen to you?
It's very simple, you be a good listener
because remember this, and this is one of the most
powerful tips I could give you
when it comes to communication.
When you say something, it means something,
but when they say something, it means everything.
So it's much more powerful, think about it,
if you want people to listen to you,
instead of me just telling them,
how can I can I ask a question so I draw that out of them.
So that they say it, so you make it their idea
instead of me trying to force my idea onto them.
So when you're communicating with your wife,
your husband, your loved one.
Example, so instead of me telling Jenny, my wife say,
Hey, Jenny, we are going to go to this restaurant
we are gonna have Japanese tonight,
well she's like "Okay, maybe, I don't know."
It's my ideas coming from hey,
this is what I think we should do.
Honey, what do you wanna eat tonight,
like what some things.
Well, I don't know.
well, I say well the last time we had Chinese
and a few days ago we had Thai.
Well, how about Japanese?
Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
Yeah you wanna have Japanese?
Yeah sure, why not?
Okay, let's have Japanese then.
You see the difference, right?
I'm asking question to draw that out of her,
versus hey, we're gonna do this.
actually I want Japanese right,
but instead of me just telling her,
it's much better when you communicate.
Learn to ask questions.
So the best way for you to speak, to talk, to communicate
so that people listen, it's by being good listener,
being able to ask questions and learn to slow down, right?
Learn to pronounce the word.
That's my biggest tip for the day, mic drop.