[vehicle accelerating]
[heavy thud with glass shattering]
[air hissing]
[diagetic noise fades in: birds, darks barking, wind]
[quiet sigh]
>> Hey, dummy.
>> Not my fault, it's not my fault.
>> Okay, okay, how many times do I have to tell you?
How many times?
>> Okay this time is different, I--
>> I told you not to play while you're driving!
>> I'm at rank four in the wild ladder and I've got
a sweet Murlock deck.
>> Okay, I don't know what any of that means
and you're mostly dead.
>> Look, I am the victim in this scenario.
>> Jason: Right, right, right, give me your phone.
>> No, I can't move, I can't move my body.
>> Get this out of your crotch. >> Except for--okay, well, there it is.
>> I'm going to go ahead and close the game out now.
>> Brian: Are you calling the cops, you're calling the cops?
>> I'm calling 9-1-1.
>> Don't call the cops, don't call the cops.
>> Jason: I'm not calling the cops, I'm calling--
>> Distracted driving is an emerging legal landscape.
>> Shut up! I'm trying to say your life, geez god.
Yeah no, he crashed into a tree again. [Brian silently mouths "Lies."]
He's all messed up.
The Jeep's good, though.
>> Brian: He had a meca'thun, I was about to lose anyway.
>> Shh, he's talking about a meca'thun.
Oh irrelevant, be quiet please.
Okay, all right they're on their way.
How do you play this?
[laughing]
♪ [upbeat guitar instrumental]
♪ [music swells]
♪ [final chord rings out]
>> robot voice: Day five, motor vehicle collisions.
[tape ejection noise]
>> All right, we're here with Jenna and Daniel,
our emergency medical technicians.
>> I'm a body that may or may not be conscious.
I'm Schrödinger's trauma victim.
>> So, we are the first responders to a gnarly car accident.
What do we do first‽
>> So to set the scene, imagining that we're the first people
to roll up, we just witnessed this happen.
The first thing you want to consider is your own safety.
You are no good to someone in the vehicle if you
are injured yourself.
>> What if the car's still flipping around like
Burnout, I want to make sure that it doesn't
crash into me.
>> Absolutely, so make sure the vehicle has come to a complete stop
and that there's no visible fire or flames.
>> Hold on, so if there's a fire, you make the conscious decision
of like, oof, sucks to be that person in that burning car?
>> Pretty much.
>> And sometimes you have to.
You've definitely got to wait for the professionals in that case.
>> How do you decide at what point you run up
and try to help?
>> I mean that's kind of a personal decision.
There are some definite don't even try.
Like, if the vehicle's fully engulfed I wouldn't even go there.
>> Brian: Oh god! >> There are probably some protocols also
depending on the city or county that you're working for
where they say, "No, never ever, ever approach >> Daniel: Absolutely.
>> when there's like a downed power line."
>> Or, don't even get out of the ambulance. >> Jenna: Correct, exactly.
Downed power line's a big one.
We would wait in the ambulance and use the megaphone
on the truck to say, "Hey, please do not exit the vehicle,"
if you're the victim, because that's insulated right now.
>> So that's a real thing, being on rubber tires.
Something can be supercharged, water or whatever.
The moment you plant a foot all the sudden
you complete the current.
Wow! >> Current, yeah we'd have to sit there and wait
for the power crews to come out, cut the power
before we can even get in there and help you out.
>> So you get out there and you determine exactly how safe
everything is, okay. >> Jenna: Right. >> Daniel: Exactly.
>> We've determined that it's safe for us to move in
and help this dummy behind the wheel.
What do we do next?
>> Okay. So you're going to want to go up to your victim.
The first thing you're going to want to do is check to see
if they're even awake.
Sometimes they hit their head, they're not out.
So you're going to want to, "Hey sir, are you all right?"
>> Okay, so let's assume I'm totally out, right?
I'm just like totally non-responsive.
What's the action at that point?
>> Honestly, you're pretty much done right there.
>> What‽ >> There's not a lot you can do.
I'm not going to want to move you because I'm not sure
how your spine is.
If the vehicle's not about to explode or something
there's no reason for me to move you.
>> If he's unconscious, we just leave him alone?
>> Right, and just call 9-1-1 and just wait
for the professionals to show up.
>> Because, I guess in the branching tree video game of all of this
there are more dangerous outcomes if you try to move
an unconscious person. >> Jenna: Yes.
>> Because like, I could be unconscious and maybe I've got 12 fractures
in my spine.
The mere act of removing me will do more damage,
if I'm not in immediate harm. >> Suddenly your spinal cord has been severed
because somebody decided they needed to drag you
out of the Jeep.
>> So step one, immediate danger, we're talking power lines
and fires.
Step two, if they're not conscious, you just
leave them, there unless--
>> Unless you can see something like a massive hemorrhage.
If they've got an arterial bleed spurting out,
hey I can probably tourniquet that real quick
before the professionals show up without moving you.
>> There's constantly that clock ticking.
Every second counts during this.
For the tourniqueting, would you move the body out
or would you just lean in and do it?
>> I would attempt to lean in and tourniquet in place.
>> So you apply pressure, all the other standard
stopping the bleeding protocols.
Nothing is different.
You don't have to pull him out of the car
and do it on the road or anything like that.
>> That depends.
Is the bleed in a place like on his leg way down there
where I'm not going to be able to get into it?
>> Or the other arm.
>> Or the other side of the vehicle.
If I'm not able to get to that bleed, stopping the bleed
is far more important than worrying about a spinal injury. >> Right.
>> Okay, so that is a really good thing to know where it's like
if he's bleeding this much I have to take care of this.
You've got to weigh everything.
>> Again we go back to that phrase, better than being dead.
>> Better than being dead.
But time is like the biggest enemy here.
You have to make these decisions really, really quickly.
>> So alternate timeline, let's say I am conscious, right?
So you come up and you shake me,
and I'm just like, "Ah! What's up?"
>> It helps to ask them questions like, "Do you know
"who the President is?
Do you know what year it is?" >> Holy sh...
>> To make sure they know who they are, where they are.
>> Talk about a bad day, it's first you get in a car wreck,
and then the first thing you wake up, you're taking the SATs.
[laughter] It's just like, "I don't know!"
[startled yell] >> Okay...
A southbound train leaves Chicago at 4:30
in the afternoon. >> Okay!
>> It's traveling at 65 miles per hour.
>> It sounds like there is value to establishing
that they are alert and present and able to self-assess >> Yes.
>> the rest of their body, right?
>> Then you would ask if they have any neck or spinal pain.
>> Let's say I was like,
you know, I'm awake and alert and I'm like "Oh, let me get out."
And I go, "Ow! My leg is very in pain,
I didn't realize how much pain it's in."
So you'd be like, "Okay then stay in the car."
>> Oh, okay. I'm going to finish this sweet arena run.
>> That's an indication that there might be something more
going on that you can't see or discern.
>> And you don't want to exacerbate any current injuries.
So when EMS shows up on scene, and fire shows up on scene
they'll have the tools to correctly take them
out of the vehicle to extricate them.
>> Safety first, safety first. >> Yep.
>> Let's re-inject some safety
into this whole thing.
Make sure that you're safe.
It's kind of like when you're in a plane
and you have to affix the mask to your face
before you help everyone else. >> Very much so.
>>> Yes.
>> Yeah, you got to make sure you take care of yourself first,
get everything safe.
And then you're like, "Okay, there's clearly something wrong,
"but let's make sure to make anything we can safer
for the moment," just doing damage control
rather than actually fixing things right away.
>> Let's say I'm in pain all over and I don't really
have a sense of what's wrong.
But I appear to be alert, awake, dialed in.
I'm talking about how everything hurts.
At this point what?
Do you open the door and say, "Come on out?"
>> No, I would advise that you stay in the vehicle
unless it's about to explode, until EMS gets on scene
so they can actually palpate your spine and hold c-spine
to make sure that there was no spinal injury. [cross-talk]
>> Those sound like science words,
I don't know what that means.
What does palpate the spine?
>> So palpate is just like touch, feel.
>> Brian: Okay. >> Jason: Could have said touch the spine.
[laughter]
Palpate the spine, I'm imagining like,
you take the spine
and you stretch it out!
>> So basically everything has to be small moves.
Once you properly assess everything and you determine
that nobody is in immediate danger,
pretty much you want to flash-freeze everything
until the authorities arrive?
>> Essentially, and if I were on the ambulance,
when I show up, what I'm going to end up doing is,
like she said, see if you have any broken bones
in your neck or your spine.
>> Don't worry, he's only touching my spine.
>> Any distracting injuries. >> Don't palpate him.
>> He not palpating me.
>> Get a room.
>> If you don't have any pain in your neck or spine
I'm just going to ask you to try to turn your head
and then do this number.
If you don't feel any pain while doing that
I'm probably just going to have you exit the vehicle
on your own.
>> So... oh that's interesting.
So I assume what you're testing for is that there could be
a sever, and maybe nothing works below the neck,
or maybe nothing works below the waist or whatever.
Maybe I'm not feeling anything,
but you don't know that until you see
this business
to know that everything's receiving signals.
>> Yeah, but even then, after I do all that
if you do have pain in your spine I'm probably
just going to put a collar on you.
Then if you can walk--
>> And still get me out.
>> I can still have you walk with that collar on.
>> Okay, so at this point you come up, you check out everything.
You give me the okay to come on out.
At this point are we over the hump of the emergency?
>> When does the hurry, hurry, hurry stop?
>> The spinal's kind of the big hump to get over.
And then once we can ensure that there's no pain in the neck
or we have addressed the pain in the neck
we can start saying, "Hey, do you have any pain
anywhere else?"
>> Brian: Right. >> Do you think your leg might be broken?
I mean I can only see in, right?
>> You've got to be really careful about that
because I can't even count the number of times
how I've been injured one day
and I don't really realize it until like two days later.
It's like, "Oh no, I chipped a bone in my elbow," or something.
>> I hate to sound so reductionist,
but it's almost as though you're trying to figure out,
your first job is to figure out which video game
are you playing?
Are we playing the video game of get a body out
before the car explodes?
Are we playing the video game of get somebody
who is paralyzed out of the way?
Or are we playing the video game of lacerations, cuts,
or any of the stuff that we talked about
previously in this week?
>> Or are we just running up to the car, pressing triangle,
and jacking it, and yank Brian out!
The Jeep is mine.
>> The GTA game, yeah.
>> I've got to get out of here.
>> We do have terms for that, you know.
Either we load and go, or we stay and play.
Are we going to get you on that stretcher and get moving
as fast as possible?
Or are we going to stay, address the injuries, and then go?
>> That's right! Load and Go, Stay and Play, those are video games.
This is amazing.
>> Absolutely.
>> So we've determined that there's no danger at the scene.
We've determined that Brian is alert and conscious.
He doesn't have any immediate bleeding,
or any noticeable spinal pain or anything like that.
>> Also I'm able to move my head up and down, left, right.
>> You're alert, aware, you know where you are,
you know what your name is, you know who's President, etc.
Now what would we do if we were professionals
at this point?
>> At this point I assume you guys literally show up
on the scene.
What does that look like?
>> You've given us this information.
You've already said he has no pain.
I'm going to confirm that of course, not to discount you.
However, as a professional coming to a non-professional
you just want to make sure we're tracking
and talking about the same thing.
So I'm going to do a little bit of the same stuff. >> This is the part where I say,
"I am in deep existential pain about the fact
that we're all dying."
>> Am I'm sitting here going, "He's fine, he's fine."
>> If this were the case, and we cleared there's no pain
in his neck, we can have him exit the vehicle
if he's got no broken bones or anything like that.
If he is complaining of a broken bone or something
and he can't physically walk, we have the backboard.
We can kind of rotate him down and pull him out.
We usually have a fire engine on scene
so we've got at least four guys.
>> This is the load and go scenario.
>> Well this is even just extrication,
not even necessarily load and go versus stay and play.
We're trying to get you out of the vehicle.
Let's get you out of the vehicle. >> [groan] Everything hurts, everything hurts.
>> We've got you on a stretcher.
>> All right, so at this point I'm on a stretcher.
>> We want to get you on a stretcher.
Then there's a quick and dirty exam that we can do
just to see, right?
I'll try to do it on you standing up here.
>> I suppose now is a good time for us to point out- >> You don't have to lay down on the ground.
>> that this is pro-level stuff only.
We are no longer
in the territory of the first person on the scene.
>> This is not un-certified first response.
These are the EMTs are here, the professionals are here.
>> So as a pro you're doing what?
>> I've got you lying on a stretcher.
I'm going to start trying to see if you have any kind of
depressed skull fracture.
>> Oh my god, is that a thing?
>> That is a thing.
>> Oh geez.
>> But I mean we've already assessed that you're alert
and oriented.
You know who you are, where you are.
That's more unlikely, however I always do want
to double check that.
I'm going to check to make sure you're not having
any broken bones in your face there.
>> Okay. >> I'm going to go to your collarbones.
I want to check your neck.
>> At some point does somebody usually like, scream?
Like [whimsically screams]
>> That depends if there's an injury, yeah.
>> And so you just, what? You note that?
>> Yep. >> You're like, "Okay, possible fracture over here."
And then you just keep on going to assess all of the places.
>> Correct. >> You have to note it mentally, yes.
>> You're keeping a mental map of everything.
>> Correct, so I check the collarbones,
and then I'm going to check the ribs to make sure
there's nothing broken there.
Look for unequal rise, so if there's a...
we call it a pneumothorax there.
>> This is for like internal bleeding like we talked about?
>> Pneumothorax?
>> A pneumothorax is if you break a rib and it punctures
your lung, and there's air in there that deflate the lung.
One lung is going to be effective so your chest
is only going to rise on one side.
>> The movie Three Kings, Mark Wahlberg.
>> Oh! Yeah, and they punctured the--
[high-pitched voice] >> And he was like, "Excuse me, I have to do this thing to breathe."
>> And we do have darts for that. >> Yes.
>> On scene we can do that. >> Real thing.
>> Can we do that to Brian? >> Movies are real.
No, that's great.
>> I'm also going to check the abdomen.
I'm going to end up palpating the abdomen here.
And that's what I'm looking for, and I'm looking for those pulsating masses,
internal bleeding, tenderness,
>> Conjoined twin. >> -anything like that. Right?
[laughter]
>> Any pain on rebound.
>> Yeah. And then I'm going to check the pelvis.
You push in and down and sometimes people have that pelvis
that just breaks, an open-book pelvic fracture.
>> So I assume, like at that point it's already broken.
You're just verifying it. >> Verify that, correct.
So, while it feels like
you're breaking someone, they were already broken.
>> That's got to be a weird sensation.
>> Absolutely, and then I'm going to check the femurs
to make sure those aren't broken either.
You can also check the legs and all that.
>> At this point this is like bonus level.
It's just like, "Hey! Congratulations you also still have toes."
>> You still get feet. [laughter]
>> Check for PMS.
>> Yes, you can check their--
>> Pulse.
>> Make sure they have pulses on all the extremities.
>> Motor, and if they can feel. Like sensory... >> I was like, "Are you cranky right now?"
[laughter]
Do you need chocolate?
>> They changed the name of that for that reason.
Now it's CMS.
>> So it sounds to me like everything about being first
on the scene, is assuming the worst.
And every decision moment, every verification,
makes things safer and safer and safer
to where now we're dealing with cuts, and bruises,
and scrapes, and fractures.
>> Absolutely, there's the primary things is that neck,
then there's certain injuries that I want to address
right now.
If there's a puncture wound to your chest, that's creating
a vacuum--or that space, there's a hole now.
I've got to plug that immediately.
>> There are a couple of things that are just red flags
that you've to to jump on right away.
>> Absolutely, major hemorrhage, bleeding out.
I want to address those.
And then I can get to, "Oh, your pelvis is broken,
"I've got a sling for that.
Oh your leg is broken, I can split that real quick."
>> I don't like any of that.
>> Eh, you know...
pelvic slings can be fun for some people.
>> Priapism?
>> Oh god. [laughter]
>> Priapism.
>> It can happen when there's trauma.
[under his breath] >> Trauma-induced boner.
>> You can be scared stiff.
>> Oh my gosh, this has been fantastic.
As always you guys recommend if you want to learn more
about what to do first on the scene
or in any kind of emergency, reach out to your local
fire department or EMT station.
If you want to follow you guys, call 9-1-1.
But only if it's an emergency.
>> Only if it's an emergency!
>> No fan dials. >> Only emergencies.
>> No fan dial, "Is Daniel there?"
[laughter]
>> Thank you guys so much.
[rustling]
[static and wind]
[faint conversation in the distance]
[crunching leaves and the hiss of a fog machine]
-- CC BY REV MODIFIED BY BIZARRE MAGIC --