In this video, we're going to talk about how to tell if your ex is not over you. But first,
my name is Clay with ModernLove.Life, where we help you get the great loving relationship
that you're looking for, without having to play mind games, without having to play hard
to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not, because
you deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing, and wonderful person that you are. If you
agree with me, do me a favor by giving this video a thumbs up. If you're new here and
you're down there giving this video a thumbs up, think about also subscribing to this channel
while you're doing that. Also, I wanted to let you know that we do
have our new course called Connect and Commit. You can find out more about that down in the
description box below this video. But if you're curious, it is basically there to help you
to turn potentially problematic situations with your ex into opportunities for greater
connection and bonding. Instead of just having a conversation just bomb and create an awful
experience for both of you, learn how to turn it into a positive experience. Again, you
can find out more about that down below. But let's go ahead and get started with this.
If you're concerned that your ex is over you, or you're looking for signs they're not over
you, just understand that this is more of like an understanding of your ex's deeper
emotional world. If you can start to put together an overall picture of your example's emotional
world, we can start to almost even anticipate what they're going to do next, because we
have a clear understanding about what they're feeling, what they're experiencing, and then
we can just put ourselves in their position and say, "Okay, if I was feeling that way,
if I was thinking these sorts of thoughts, what would I likely do?" With that being said,
here are a couple of things that you can look out for.
First of all, they may keep certain sentimental things around them, with them, in their proximity,
especially if those are non-practical things, and they would do this especially for situations
where it's specifically related to some sort of romantic connection that the two of you
had. If you went on some sort of romantic trip somewhere two years ago or something,
and they kept some sort of souvenir or memento from that trip, yeah, totally. If it was just
something that was from a period of time that you happened to be together in, but it's not
necessarily related to your connection or your time together, that's a little bit more
of a gray area,. but if it's something that they strongly anchor to you and the connection
that the two of you had, yeah, that is absolutely a way that you might be able to start putting
together that picture that maybe they aren't completely over you.
Another way that you can do this, tell that they're not you, is if you can notice that
you still have a profound, emotional impact on them, especially when it comes to topics
of the relationship that the two of you had. If you start to bring up in conversation your
relationship together, things that happened between the two of you, your dynamic, things
like that, and you can tell that it either lights them up or really upsets them, or they
just really get emotionally engaged in it, then, yeah, they are not over you. This is,
of course, going to be about situations that revolve your relationship. Now, obviously,
it's going to take them a lot longer to get over things that impact them on a much bigger
scale, for example, cheating or something like that. I'm not saying it always impacts
someone on a big scale, but just traditionally, that's something that people would see as
like, "Oh, that's a big thing," versus something small, like maybe an argument. Of course,
it's all relative anyway. Some people view arguments as a really big deal. Other people
see them as not that big a deal at all. Just depends.
But anyway, if you are still having a profound, emotional impact on them where they're reacting
beyond what someone who has calmly and rationally decided to move their life in a new direction
would do, then they're definitely not over you. This also encompasses when your ex is
pretending to be over you, but they are still emotionally stirred up. If the two of you
broke up yesterday and then they're just like, "Yes, I am totally over you. I feel nothing,"
that's obviously a BS act. That includes the sort of masking over of how they feel with
a BS act. Another thing that can let you know that your
ex isn't over you is if they seem to be trying to play mind games with you in some sort of
way. Actually, we made a video on mind games. We'll go ahead and link to that up in a video
card up there. Be sure to check that out if you think that your ex might be playing mind
games on you. But basically if your ex is doing something to try to stir up emotion
in you, like make you jealous, or maybe try to elicit some sort of response from you,
for example, again, there are many different schools of thought on no contact, but if your
ex is using no contact to try and force you to contact them, for example, that could definitely
be a sign that they're not over you. There could be all sorts of other... Like if they're
posting things that they think are going to get a sort of emotional response from you,
that is also kind of a mind game, depending on how you define the term mind game. But
in my definition, that would kind of be a mind game. If that's the case, then they're
still emotionally caught up in the dynamic between the two of you, and they're trying
to elicit some sort of reaction from you. They're not over you if that is the case.
Next up, obviously they're not over you if they're in a rebound relationship. I know
that rebound relationships, on the surface, it can sometimes look like, "Yeah, I'm totally
over you. I'm dating someone else. Look, we're in a relationship. It's wonderful. It's great."
But that's just kind of a really extreme example of trying to paper it over with an act. Obviously,
rebound relationships have a lot of problems or a lot of issues associated with them. I
think it's pretty widely known. You probably don't need me to tell you that.
But if you're curious about why that is the case, what is going on with rebound relationships,
we do have our rebound relationship series up there. Check that out if that's something
that you want to learn more about. But rebound relationships, they're essentially
just your ex not dealing with their emotions and not dealing with how they're feeling after
your breakup in a healthy sort of way. They're just sort of burying that in a new relationship
and hoping that that relationship somehow reduces the pain that they're feeling or causes
them to not have to experience the pain of the breakup and all of that. Of course, obviously
that's not true, but it's just based on the fortune cookie advice of time heals all wounds.
If I just distract myself while time passes, it'll somehow make everything better. Not
true. We don't need to go into that in this video, but that is something I've been talking
about for a very long time. Another way that you can tell if your ex is
not over you is if you notice a strange change in their values or behavior following the
breakup. I'm not talking about like, "Okay, yeah, we broke up. Suddenly, I feel like I
have a whole lot more freedom in my life to pursue things that are valuable and interesting
to me, so I'm going to do that." But I'm talking about like, "Okay, now I'm just starting to
engage in some unhealthy sorts of behaviors." Maybe drinking too much, or doing drugs, or
risky sorts of behaviors. Things that may not be in their best interest in terms of
their health or in terms of being in alignment with what they want for their own life. That
can show that they're coping with the breakup in a sort of unhealthy kind of way. It's obviously
a sign that there's still a lot of things that they're still working through when it
comes to getting over you and getting over the breakup.
Again, just to kind of sum this up, you can tell that they're not over you if they're
still holding onto sentimental things, if you are still having a profound impact on
them to the positive or the negative, especially when you bring up the relationship or some
sort of dynamic between the two of you, maybe they seem to be playing mind games with you,
maybe they're in a rebound relationship, or maybe they're having some sort of dramatic
change in behavior, most likely for the worse. Now, again, these are just things that your
ex might do if they weren't emotionally over you. We're just kind of putting ourselves
in the position of somebody who's not fully emotionally over their ex or over a breakup,
and we're saying, "Okay, what might I feel compelled to do?" These are just a couple
of things that came to mind for me. Once again, if you do want to learn more about
Connect and Commit, you can check that out in the link down below this video. Other than
that, thank you so much for watching this video. If you did enjoy it, please give this
video a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel if you're new here. Other than that, you might
want to check out this video series over here on signs that your ex wants you back. Or you
might want to check out this video over here. Thank you so much for watching this video.
Please stay safe, please stay healthy. I'll talk to you next time. Take care.