The 10 Most Bizarre Drunk Moments Throughout History
Alcohol.
It’s pretty good, it makes ugly people attractive and it makes you think that you can take on
the greatest fighters on Earth even though a strong breeze would blow you to pieces.
Now we’re not going to say that alcohol is all fun and games, sometimes it can cause
real problems in a person’s life and we are not about to ridicule that.
We’ve decided to look back through history and pick 10 of our favourite moments throughout
history that were fuelled by alcohol.
Some of them completely changed the way history played out… others are just funny.
Welcome to the Top 10 Most Bizarre Drunk Moments Throughout History.
1 – Ancient Greece We’ve decided to start at the very beginning.
The Greeks were some of the first people to actually record their history but what they’re
most famous for is their art and literature.
From their Gods to their epic plays the Greeks were some of the most sophisticated people
of their time.
Equally the Ancient Greeks are known for their love of wine.
So what happens when you mix alcohol and art?
Well apparently you get a lot of stone carved penises… and those stone dicks get stolen.
Hermae statues were known for their mighty dongs, however in 415 BC, Athens suffered
an alcohol fuelled mass castration of their beloved statues, many of which had their stone
serpents removed.
This senseless act of mischief proves that though thousands of years and countless generations
separate us… our ancestors were just as immature as we are.
2 – Costa Concordia Back in 2012 the one hundred and fourteen
thousand tonne ship, the Costa Concordia crashed into a mass of rocks off the Italian Coast.
The captain, Francesco Schettino was allegedly wasted the whole time.
Apparently quite the show off, a series of drunken miscalculations after drinking red
wine with a beautiful woman led to this tragic event.
Francesco Schettino is currently serving a 16 year prison sentence for both crashing
the ship, manslaughter and abandoning his passengers.
While not Titanic famous, the Costa Concordia was a fairly famous ship even before its sinking.
It was the setting for part of the movie Film Socialisme and was a figure of pop culture.
Since the sinking the ships wreckage has still appeared in Italian movies, such as The Great
Beauty.
The moral of the story…
don’t drink and drive.
3 – The Death of Princess Diana Speaking of not drinking and driving!
The death of Princess Diana is the most high profile death of royalty in modern history.
While in France, Diana and her driver Henri Paul were speeding double the limit while
trying to escape paparazzi… aside from doing 60 in a 30 mile per hour zone, Paul was also
approximately three times over the limit for alcohol consumption.
After the pair died in the car crash, the public reaction ranged from mourning the loss
of the most popular Princess, to claiming that she was killed intentionally by the royal
family due to her controversial behaviour.
While there is no proof that Diana’s death was intentionally orchestrated, the anti-royal
sentiment in the UK is so great that to this day many just accept it as fact.
4 – Andre The Giant Gets Drunk and Attacks People
If you’re in the slightest bit interested in professional wrestling there is no doubt
that you know Andre the Giant.
Frequently billed as the largest wrestler of all time (although this is not an accurate
statement) he was famous for three things: being big, getting slammed by Hulk Hogan at
Wrestlemania and drunkenly beating the shit out of people when he got bored.
Aside from punching Ultimate Warrior in the face, Andre the giant also got drunk and began
to start a real fight during a match with Akira Maeda in New Japan Pro Wrestling.
Maeda, who was also a legitimate fighter, was known for attacking his co-performers
in the ring just for fun, and as a result NJPW asked Andre the Giant to teach him a
lesson.
The trouble was that drunk Andre the giant didn’t really have much for Akira Maeda,
leaving the whole thing an ugly drunken mess.
5– Writing Cujo Stephen King is generally considered to be
the greatest horror writers of the modern age.
With dozens of classics within the genre such as It, The Shining and The Girl Who Loved
Tom Gordon.
That being said, Stephen King has also had numerous books outside of the conventional
horror genre, such as his magnum opus The Dark Tower, The Shawshank Redemption and Cujo.
While Cujo is technically a horror novel, it’s very different in tone and style with
it being a very realistic scenario.
What may surprise you about the classic book of a beloved Saint Bernard infected with rabies,
is that Stephen King barely remembers writing it.
He wrote the book during a point in his life where he was drinking very heavily and as
a result can’t really recollect much of the creative process.
Which he’s pretty sad about, because he says he wishes he could remember enjoying
the good parts as he wrote them.
6 – Joe McCarthy was pretty much always drunk
We’ve talked about John McCarthy before on this channel about the effect that his
Red Scare had on pop culture and the movie industry.
What you might not have known about McCarthy was that he was an alcoholic.
While most will know about the widespread paranoia he caused during the Cold War, far
fewer know of the vices that in part caused the senators raging paranoia.
The mans drinking, combined with his already volatile nature, no doubt played a big part
in the persecution of innocent people during his run as senator of Wisconsin.
When McCarthy died in the 60s, the official cause of death was hepatitis, but most now
accept that it was due to his alcoholism that his liver enflamed and caused his death.
7 – George Washington - Delaware The War of American Independence is subject
to a lot of myths, schools tend to talk a lot of the end result but very little of things
such as the French carrying most of the war on their beret wearing shoulders.
This story however, is one that we’re disappointed doesn’t make it into the history books.
On Boxing Day, 1776, after the battle of Trenton, the American’s captured MANY kegs of alcohol.
Thus began one of the oldest keggers in US History, as Washington’s men began to celebrate
both the victory and Christmas chugging booze.
The celebration was a sight to behold by all accounts, with half naked soldiers stumbling
around the place.
We’re not completely sure if this is a great story or not, because on one hand it must
have been pretty funny for American troops, but on the other hand the idea of being a
German prisoner being subjected to this most unusual form of torture doesn’t exactly
seem nigh on unbearable.
8 – Drunk Referee Doesn’t Give a Shit Here’s one for our sports fans.
The Czech Republic quite like their soccer (known as football in the the rest of the
world) and really quite like their alcohol.
Which is great because during a game between Jesrtabi Lhota and Tynec Nad Labem, referee
Tomas Fidra rolled up absolutely wankered.
He was so drunk that he just decided to red card three footballers who asked him if he
was still able to referee the match while drunk.
While he was allowed to do it, as nowhere in the rules states that he wasn’t allowed
to show up drunk and kick people out of the game for no reason, the match was annulled
soon after.
9 – Alien Sightings Since the famous UFO crash in Roswell, people
have been obsessed with the idea of aliens crashing on Earth.
Unfortunately for believers the chances of aliens landing on Earth are pretty slim.
In fact, the National UFO Reporting centre has received approximately 90,000 calls reporting
sightings of UFOs over the last 40 years.
This works out as roughly 6 per day, and nearly all of the time it occurs during ‘drinking
hours’.
Which means there is a good chance that the most UFO sightings happen after someone stumbles
out of a bar and sees a plane flying overhead.
This shouldn’t come as any real surprise though, given the common stereotype of crazy
drunkards believing in UFO sightings.
10 – Eating Your Underwear Generally, when the police pull you over there’s
usually a pretty good reason.
Drink driving is a very dangerous crime and the more you drink the more dangerous it is…
at least until you get so paraletic that you can’t put your foot on the pedal.
So how drunk does a man need to be in order to eat his own underwear in the hopes of passing
a breathalyser test?
Apparently quite, because that’s what one young man did in the hopes that the cotton
fibres would soak up the alcohol to enable him to pass the test and avoid being placed
under arrest.
The most amazing thing was that the guy was actually under the limit to drive…
but if he had drunk enough that he thought that this was a good idea… then we can only
assume one thing.
It must work.
Do you have any drunk news stories, or alcohol fuelled historical events that you want to
share?
Leave a comment and let us know!
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