Hi, I'm Leighton Meester and this is "My Guide to Life."
I'm not the best with first impressions
because early relationships in my life
or friendships I'd be like, "Yeah that guy seems good!"
The one who's like just such a pathological liar
and like, I'm like, that's what I deserve.
But as you grow, you sort of learn that maybe
somebody who's like, safe and healthy is better?
I have a really hard time
with it with forgiveness, because it's really hard
for me to forget in a crazy way.
I'm like, "No, like, you said that at 1:31 p.m."
you know, like, I have like this attachment
to being wronged or whatever. Saying something not so nice
or raising your voice or whatever.
Those things like are human. To be able to say, "I'm sorry."
Especially to your kid, which is to me very important.
And like, I made a mistake and I guess recognizing it.
Hopefully the kids who are growing up
with somewhat more conscious parents around them
there is that, like, validation of their feelings and not,
you know, pushing it away
and all the good things that hopefully we're learning
from the generation before that they didn't
necessarily have.
Love, to me...
I mean, the first thing I think of is my kids.
It's unconditional and unwavering.
And it's also kind of frustrating to be like, well,
biologically kind of sort of like
I have to love this person.
And I have no choice.
But you wouldn't regret, you know,
the love that you've given
When I had my first kid, I was like,
"I'm going to see my girlfriends all the time!"
And then I never saw them again.
But truly, just being around people who are sort of like
in the cycle of life or the season of life
that you're in is actually really helpful.
Having people who support you and listen to you
and will give you tough love if you need it.
But otherwise, your marriage, your, you know, being a mom,
those things can't be 100% fulfilling, nor can your job.
So you need girlfriends who I'm like, I'm
my best self with them,
and they support me and love me and think I'm like,
great and funny and I feel the same about them.
You need all the support you can get
I think that so much of
this career itself really is like 'you are the product.'
So if you don't get a job
it is a rejection. Having things
that you're passionate about. I really like to surf.
That's something that has nothing to do with my career.
It's a skill that's not I'm not being paid for.
And so like there's no pressure to like perform.
It's just this connection with something other than like
the product of me.
And I think it builds self-confidence
that's beyond like, this is your career.
This is the way you look.
You know?
I was doing Gossip Girl.
I was like 20 when I moved to New York and did that,
I think, too, I was like, "Well,
I'm not going to college." So there was that
feeling of like, "Am I missing out?"
I think I just didn't want to be real dumb.
I just wanted to be like, I have some kind of education
that isn't like just being on set,
although there is so much value in that.
But I was like, I'm just going to read every book
that maybe I would read in college.
And I just like went through that period, be like,
I'm gonna read, you know?
I don't have many regrets at this point.
Immediate regrets.
Yes. Like every I don't know if it's a social event
or a work event.
If I don't go home, be like, "What did f@#$ I say?"
Like, what, that was so stupid.
Like, I just replay stuff a lot.
But like long term regrets.
No, no.
I don't have any good advice.
I feel like I don't know that it's it's necessarily advice,
but help other people, volunteer,
try to find like things that you're passionate about.
And maybe if you can have a career in that, that's great.
But otherwise,
you know, take the focus just off of yourself.
And build your self-confidence by, like, kindness and talent
and passion.
I'm always like, please don't quote me.
I don't know what what I said.