I was eleven and a half when I got
my first period perhaps the only girl in class
who did. It was awful because i could not talk about it
either at home or at school. Apart from being told that it happened too soon
I was not given any other information.Of course
I had a lot of questions for instance, do boys also get their period?
Forget answering the question
I was in fact ridiculed for asking what I thought was a perfectly valid question
and that further drove me into a shell.
So it was during this time
when I could barely bring myself to talk about menstruation
that I happened to stain my skirt in school one day during my period.
I remember very clearly where I was sitting
and that there was a boy sitting right behind me. All through the class
I hoped and prayed that the teacher would not call my name
requiring me to stand up and give the answer and just does it happens in a very
bad dream
I heard my name I do not remember what happened next
how I stood up what I said what the teacher said
it was all a blur what I do remember
was that,that moment on I completely erased this boy from my mind
he did not exist it never happened. Years later as teenagers he tried to get in
touch with me
but I was so afraid that he would remember this incident and mention it to
me
that I never met him again.When I started to share my menstrual stories
with the adolescent girls
across government schools , I realized
that to be able to talk about that which is your most difficult ,most embarrassing
most troublesome memory of your past is to truly feel liberated
the first time I said it they smiled,
the second time they laughed, the third time
I learned to laugh with them and then
I was free .When I use to
go to government schools in rural areas, I was quite taken aback by just
how shy the girls
actually were, all the preparation that I would do to talk about the biology and
hygienic practices
will simply fall flat once i stood infront of the girls,
when they got to know what I was about to tell them
they would immediately close the doors,the windows and then their
eyes and ears, it hit me then
that no matter how knowledgeable I might be
it is of no use unless I can get the girls to
open up and talk about menstruation .So to ease things up I would begin every
session
with a very personal and intimate embarrassing story
of my first period ,that's when the girls would realize that hey!
my story is just like her and then they would start sharing
their experiences and soon there would be a classroom full of girls
eager to show off how okay they are to talk about their period
that's how I learned that for many girls the first time they bled
they actually thought they are going to die. There were girls
who thought that they somehow managed to wound themselves there and if they could
just get hold of a band aid
it would all be okay ,then there were those girls
who actually thought and felt that their mothers would be heartbroken if they found out
about this new disease
so they never spoke about it, never used any absorbent material
and just bled until someone found out.
Imagine how relieved they would have been to discover that they were not
about to die
perhaps they were so relieved that all the taboos, restrictions and rituals that
followed
did not matter as much at least they would be alive.
It is important to talk about menstruation
in order to handle the issues around menstruation.
Last year we released an animated video called Mythri
which covered the biology and all the hygienic aspects
of menstruation. We did this so that as educators
we could focus on helping girls overcome their inhibitions,
only once they talk about their period
are they able to get comfortable around it
then they take charge and find
their own solutions. So there were some girls
who found the courage to ask their mothers to buy sanitary napkins for them.
There were other girls who felt that using cloth is just fine
if they did it right .There were groups of girls
who got together and spoke to the school authorities
and asked them to renovate their toilets.
All of this happened without my consciously planning for any of it.
As my work got noticed I started getting contacted by organizations who wanted me
to work with them
on menstrual hygiene management projects which typically meant
getting donors to distribute sanitary napkins, putting together manufacturing
units
for decentralized sanitary napkin production and occasionally construction
of toilets. That is the first time
I started doubting what I intuitively knew
were the issues around menstruation and instead started working with
others on addressing the symptoms.
It failed. Many of the girls felt that they were being forced to use sanitary
napkins
because they naturally preferred cloth.There were mothers who thought
that we are selling them some cheap product and trying to make money out of
it.
The toilets we built were not being used
and if used were maintained poorly.
And just when I thought that maybe I was right after all
someone will throw at me very compelling statistics
23 percent adolescent girls drop out of school once they hit puberty
and this was cited as the reason and a justification for
all those projects. Did you know
that actually the number of boys who drop out of school
is more than the number of girls when it comes to government schools?
According to a Sarva Shiksha abhiyan survey of 2008
it was found that the incidence of school leaving among girls
was 1.6 percentage points
less than that of the boys and as far as attendance is concerned it was found to
be the same for both boys and girls
and in some states like Kerala and Uttarakhand reporting the number of girls who were
present at any point in time
was five percentage points more than that of boys.
so much for absenteeism owing to menstruation.
so then why do some girls drop out of school?
Most often the reason is early marriage
in places like chamaraj nagar where incidence of teenage pregnancies are
high
mothers used to get their daughters married early soon after they hit
puberty
and then in places like Gulbarga where dowry was very prevalent
parents would get their girls married at a very young age
which basically meant little or no dowry.
So you see regardless of all the sanitary napkins we actually distribute
it would not bring the girl child back to school.
Besides telling someone what to use and what not to use
it's not something we have the right to decide
it is only when we operate from our core
that we hit the problem at its core.
It's only then that we stop thinking of what we need to do for others
and what we do automatically fits into the larger picture of what is needed for
the issue.
we place our selves in the equation and there is no separation between
them and I. I wondered why
these projects were started? Projects
that limited themselves to either distribution of sanitary napkins
or construction of toilets
with little or no interaction with the girls
about the issue itself.
I realize now that it is because of the way we perceive menstruation
as a problem .Even the advertisements and the messages they convey
are often about how best you can forget that you even have your period.
If we continue to look at menstruation as a problem
the day would not be far when we would look at completely
eliminating this problem ,it is already happening
even in the smallest villages I have come across young girls
who buy pills without prescription, to postpone their period.
and the reason could be a travel,a class test,
drawing competition or simply because they do not want
to experience what it is to menstruate.
why is it that we have failed to appreciate the beauty in menstruation?
nature has the tendency to bestow upon us gifts
which are covered in several layers .
unless we unravel these layers and look within
we cannot experience this gift.
In the early ages menstruation was considered as a sacred process
and women who menstruate were thought to have
magical powers. Men often relied
upon the wisdom of menstruating women
and the intuitive messages they shared to guide them in the day to day chores of
hunting and migrating. The menstrual cycle itself
was considered to have its own significance
with each week in the cycle apparently being different.
The first week that began with menstruation and bleeding
was considered a period of cleansing and removal of
all negative thoughts this was when most women
feel the need to be silent ,go inward
and be contemplative, the second week
which is called the pre-ovulation week is the time when most women feel
at their energetic best,
this was considered ideal to kickoff new projects or creative work
the third week what we call the ovulation phase
was thought of as the time when most women look
and feel more attractive.This was the time when felt both vulnerable
and the need to connect with others.
the fourth week the pre menstruation week
is when we experience a rush of emotions and thoughts
that do not occur to us during other times
what we today dismiss as PMS and mood swings
was back then considered a highly intuitive phase
and the messages that came to us during this time were taken
very seriously .Women
they thought had all four seasons
within their body.
I became conscious very recently of how
everything that is feminine in a woman
is symbolized in menstruation and the events around it.
Every time we feel the aches and pains
does it not force us to slow down and become gentle?
Every time we feel a surge of emotion just before a period
does it not remind us of how beautifully vulnerable we can be?
Every time we stain our skirt during a period
does it not naturally make us sensitive towards others feelings?
and every time we bleed aren't we reminded
of our ability to create life?
Menstruation is not a process to be tolerated
but a gift to be grateful for.
silencing the beauty of menstruation is silencing
everything on earth that is feminine.
THANK YOU.