HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE Today we talk about intelligence,
more particularly about social intelligence. But what is social intelligence? Individuals
with good social intelligence have the ability to perceive how others feel, to intuitively know what
to say in social situations and to always seem self-assured, even in a larger crowd.
The theory of social intelligence was first brought to the forefront by American psychologist
Edward Thorndike in 1920. Thorndike defined it as "The ability to understand and manage
men and women and boys and girls and to act wisely in human relationships."
Nobody is born socially intelligent. This type of intelligence encompasses a
set of skills that an individual learns over time.
Signs of social intelligence Socially intelligent people display
core traits that help them communicate and connect with others. For example:
Effective Listening: A person who possesses social intelligence doesn't just listen to respond,
but really pays attention to what a person is saying.
The other people in the conversation walk away feeling like they've been understood
and that they made a connection. Conversation Skills:
Individuals with high social intelligence have conversational skills that allow them to carry
on a discussion with virtually anyone. They are tactful, appropriate, funny and sincere in these
conversations and remember details about people that allow the dialogue to be more meaningful.
Reputation Management: Socially intelligent people value the impression they make
on others. Considered one of the most complex elements of social intelligence,
managing a reputation requires careful balance: a person must carefully create an impression on
another person while remaining authentic. Lack of Argument:
Someone with good social intelligence understands that arguing or proving a point by making another
person feel bad is not the best way. They do not openly reject another person's ideas, but rather
listen to them with an open mind, even when it is not an idea that they personally agree with.
How to develop social intelligence While some people may appear to
have natural social intelligence, others have to work to develop it. Fortunately,
there are strategies that can help a person build social skills. Let's see some of them.
Pay close attention to what (and who) is around you. Socially intelligent people are observant
and pay attention to the subtle social cues of those around them. If you think
someone in your life has strong interpersonal skills, watch how they interact with others.
Work on increasing your emotional intelligence. While similar to social intelligence, emotional
intelligence is more about how you control your emotions and how you empathize with others.
It requires recognition of when you are experiencing an emotion, which will help
you recognize that emotion in others. An emotionally intelligent person can
recognize and control negative feelings, such as frustration or anger, when in a social setting
Respect cultural differences. Look for cultural differences so you can understand them.
Although most people learn what is considered "normal" by family, friends and the community
around them, a socially intelligent person understands that others may have different
responses and habits based on their upbringing. Practice active listening.
Develop your social intelligence by working on your communication skills,
which requires active listening. Don't interrupt. Take some time to think about what someone else
is saying before responding. Listen for inflections in what others are saying,
which can give you clues as to what they really mean.
Appreciate the important people in your life. Socially intelligent people have deep
relationships with people who are meaningful to them. Pay attention to the emotions of
your spouse and your children, friends, colleagues, and other peers. If you ignore
the closest people in your life, you are missing cues on how to connect with them.
Social intelligence is not easy to master. However,
working to improve it can lead to a richer life or, at least,
an easier time making a few new friends. Study social situations.
Pay attention to what people are doing right and the mistakes you want to avoid.
Next, think about what you want to do differently in the next social situation you find yourself in.
Become proactive in improving your skills. And remember,
sometimes you will be wrong. Learn from your failures as well as your successes.
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