- [screaming]
[cheering]
- Where's Joey Gorga? It's a party now.
Your wife is like, "Whoo!"
- Joe, where's my birthday cake?
- I'm touching your cake this year.
- I put my cake in your boobies.
- No, no.
- Teresa thinks she's so strong.
Let's see how strong she really is.
- I'm not--Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
- Now it's a party.
- What is going on in there?
- How much did she drink?
- Joe, you made the crumbs. I make the mother----ing cake.
- What you do, you bring in crumbs.
See, I bring in the cake. - That is so rude.
I am successful. Deal with it, bitch.
[screams]
Oh, yeah, drunk Melissa is so much more honest.
(BLEEP) your crumbs. (BLEEP) your crumbs.
I would say she just doesn't give a (BLEEP).
Oh, yes. Whoo!
[all shouting]
- Oh, come on. Let's go to your cake.
- Oh, oh, my God. It's so pretty.
- Look at that cake I've given.
- Wait, I honestly wanna say, if you're here,
it's because I love you. And thank you for being here.
Because it's important to me, because you know what?
I am holding onto my mother----ing threes, baby.
[cheering]
Guess what?
If anyone wants to throw this mother----ing cake--
[all shouting]
You throw it!
- [laughs]
- Last year was, like, a little dramatic in Boca,
the whole cake situation.
- Teresa, what is wrong with you?
- [screams]
- We're gonna have to explain to the restaurant
that we're from Jersey.
Oh, my God. Buzz kill.
- What are you wishing for?
- Healthy, happy children, as always.
So I'm actually so happy to be at home this year
in New Jersey.
all: [screaming]
With my husband, my friends, my family.
- Just 'cause you weren't there last year.
[all screaming]
- Let them throw cake.
Guys, guys, I want everybody dancing right now.
[screams]
- I love drunk Melissa.
[all cheering]
[dramatic music]
- You don't go in between family.
- You don't cross the line. You don't do that.
[glass shattering]
- No one tells me how to speak to my husband.
Not my sister-in-law, no one.
- Like, it shouldn't even be asked in an Italian family.
Teresa, this one's got you going in circles.
- You're drinking the ----ing Kool-Aid with her.
- No, I'm not.
You don't even know what you're saying anymore.
- You want something, bitch? - Oh, sh--.
- You got the wrong ----ing girl.
We are Italians from Jersey.
We love hard, we fight hard, and we go hard.
You guys are like my bitches, and I'm your pimp.
- Look at you. Oh, that's fine.
- I have no underwears on.
[all laughing]
- Jen's two glasses deep. - I like when I drink, too.
- ♪ How you like the new look ♪
[all cheering]
- I'm like the badass Jewish chick from Jersey.
- Hello, Cabo!
- Tell me how hot that is before I put it--
- [coughs]
- We're coming to Turkey.
- [cheering]
- Oh!
My camel toe is getting a camel ride.
- Sometimes my children are a birth control.
- You're so cute. - Mm-hmm.
I really am. - [laughs]
- The tinier, the better your ass looks.
- I can't relate to people who have affairs
with married people.
- That's why your husband sleeps in his girlfriend's bed.
- You better shut the (BLEEP) up with that.
- You can't control a man. - That's your husband.
- Do you control your husband? - Yeah.
- Do you feel like your husband would be in jail
if you could control what he did?
- She didn't mean anything.
- Now you're sticking up for her.
You think she's ----ing God.
[all shouting]
- I really don't know if you're ever really gonna, like,
love me like your real sister.