- Alright. - Do we need to
start like a, an intro or anything?
- Don't need intro.
Alright.
Take one on non-intro.
He just said no intro...
I know, so
- reiterate... - Action!
Oh, this is kind of phallic.
One, two, three.
It's really heavy.
Alright.
Question numero uno.
“Darren, you share a birthday, April 27th,
with one of my favorites, Lizzo.
So in honor of Lizzo's song, "Rumors,"
what's the wildest rumor that you've read about yourself?”
Umm...
I really try not to read anything on the internet.
'Cause I'm too sensitive.
Are you trying to say that you have a spotless record?
No, that's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying I just don't read the internet, it's painful.
You know when you have those friends that you don't, like,
you get annoyed 'cause you're like,
“I never would've seen this
but you brought it to my attention and now it ruined my day?”
Yeah.
That happens to me on the daily.
I think I read something that said I was, like,
secretly 45 years old or something like that.
Oh my God.
Which I was like, “That hurts, I don't know what that means.”
But yeah, I think that's maybe the wildest one.
Alright, you next.
Alright.
Here we go.
“Darren, your Love Hard co-star, Nina,
and your Never Have I Ever co-star, Maitreyi,
are both Canadian.
- Can you do a Canadian accent?” - Ooh!
I don't know what you're talking about...
See, I'm the only one who understood that.
I know Maitreyi says, “Where have you “been?”
Where have you “been?” Yeah.
Instead of, “Where have you been.”
That's spelled correctly, B-E-E-N makes more sense,
with “been,” right?
There's another one.
"Pro-gress" instead of progress.
Which also makes more sense, pro-gress.
Canadians just say it how it's spelled and I like that.
Thank you, Canada.
“Nina, you have a TikTok account.”
That's right, I do, @Nina, follow me.
“With over a million followers,” yep.
“You haven't posted anything.”
It's true, I've never posted anything on my TikTok account.
But I think I'm gonna start.
I don't have TikTok.
Maybe we start a joint TikTok account.
We could, but you know a fun fact,
Nina doesn't even follow me on Instagram.
Burn.
I check every day.
- Alright. - What are you talking about?
Yes, I do.
Is she gonna do it right now?
No, I'm gonna show you that I was following you.
“Was,” that means she unfollowed.
See, look at that, look, following.
Oh, okay, it's been like that all along.
Yeah, I didn't just press that right now.
I feel like I just made it, you know?
You unfollow after this, I am gonna send you obscene–
Shh, next question.
“Nina, you already know
- The Vampire Diaries. - Mhm.
What other mythical creature's diary
would you most like to read:
The Loch Ness monster diaries,
the leprechaun diaries or the Yeti diaries?”
Leprechaun, 1000% leprechaun
because the diaries will probably contain the map
and or instructions to the pot of gold.
She 'bout that money.
That's right.
It's a serious cookie jar.
“Darren got his real estate license but never used it.
Besides real estate, Darren,
what other jobs do you no longer have
now that you're an actor?”
I worked at Soul Cycle, at the front desk
and that's actually where I met Heather McMahan,
who’s also in our movie.
- We both worked the front desk together. - Uh huh.
It's funny, there's so many stories.
They're good stories, don't grin like that.
They're not appropriate for
- the public to know. - Okay.
- Yeah. - Not like that though.
Oh, now we're starting, here,
we're gonna start your first rumor.
Come on.
“Nina, you grew up in Canada
and Canadians are known for being extremely apologetic.
What's the last thing you apologized for?”
Not following me on Instagram.
I'm sorry,
I don't really know how to answer this question.
That's good, that was good.
But I have started saying "sorry" instead of sorry.
That was the one I forgot in the Canadian accent,
- "Sorry." - "Sorry."
If you were ever on a subway,
it must be like a broken record of "sorry"s.
- “Sorry, sorry, sorry.” - “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”
“I scrolled back seven years on your Instagram profile.
In 2015, you posted a photo of Britney Spears
walking you like a sexy dog on stage during her Vegas show.
If you could be walked like a sexy dog
by any other extremely famous person, who would it be?”
Wait, I'm confused.
This happened to me or this happened to you?
- That was me. - Oh, cool.
I was like, “Really?
I don't remember that.”
Whoever hears this is just gonna be weirded out
that I want them to walk me on a leash.
Umm...
Did she walk you on a leash?
- Yeah. - Like a dog?
And she had a whip.
So some might say that you were her little bitch.
I mean, there's worse people to be a bitch to,
- I guess, you know? - Fuck yeah,
- that's pretty rad. - It's iconic.
- You know what? - Me.
I'll let Nina take me for a quick walk.
Quick stroll.
Oh, I'm not really onstage a lot.
Okay, alright.
I don't wanna give you,
promise you things I can't deliver on.
Beyoncé, why not?
- That's a good one. - Yeah, Beyoncé.
I'll take it.
I'd be her little bitch too.
“In Love Hard, Nina's character gets catfished.
Darren, if you had to catfish IRL,
whose photos would you use?”
1996 Brad Pitt.
Yeah, I mean how do you get better than that.
That's a superhuman.
Except, it wouldn't work
because everyone would know.
I would just discreetly edit my face into his face
and make like a hybrid of '96 Brad Pitt and me.
Okay.
I think I've thought about this before
and I mean '96 Brad Pitt's my ultimate man crush,
so it's just very immediate answer.
- Same. - Yeah.
Do you wanna have a threesome with him?
Sh, yeah.
We should do it.
Love Hard on Netflix.
Yeah.