Have you ever thought about how awesome the whole world seems when you’re smitten with
a guy?
It’s like a better, more beautiful place where everything is pleasant and less bothersome.
All of this quickly changes though when you fall out of love or have your heart broken.
The world seems dark and bleak, and almost anything can bring you to tears or piss you
off.
This only goes to show us that our world is as bright or as gloomy as we make it out to
be, and how quickly we can jump between feelings when love is involved.
In the beginning of romantic relationships we often fear love because we know the pain
it’s capable of inflicting.
Sadly, heartbreak is something that most people go through in their lives; it’s a near-universal
part of the human experience.
Think about how many films, books and songs are dedicated to love’s aftermath - our
culture thrives on it.
My name is Amy North, I’m a relationship coach from Vancouver, Canada and today I’m
going to talk about the five stages for getting over heartbreak, even if it seems impossible
at first!
Let’s get started.
#1.)
Coping with Your Loss Accepting that your relationship is over can
be tough and chances are you’ll experience a tidal wave of emotions ranging from hurt
and regretful, to agony and anger- you may cry, shout, laugh or may not be able to get
anything past the lump in your throat.
Everyone has a different way of dealing with emotions, but I can assure you that we all
share similar feelings when experiencing heartache.
An important part of the coping process is to take time to process your feelings.
Not only will this help you with moving forward, but learning how to cope in situations of
loss is a valuable lesson to learn and it’ll teach you how to deal with emptiness.
If you rush through emotions and jump into a new relationship without properly handling
your grief then chances are your repressed emotions will surface and blow up in your
face.
Instead, give yourself the necessary time to move through each feeling, look inward
and let it go.
#2.)
Toughening Up Now, this doesn’t mean you’ll hit the
gym or start lifting weights, but rather that there will come a time when you’ll emotionally
toughen up.
You may know what I’m talking about, in fact you’ve probably seen one of your friends
or relatives go through this stage, the one where they vow to never fall in love again
or promise to not make the same mistakes.
While they may think they’re being tough, this isn’t strength, but hurt disguised
as it.
And hurt shouldn’t stop us from dating again.
Although it may feel like time is standing still, the rest of the world keeps moving
on.
You’re still expected to go to work, pay your bills, and be social with others.
As much as you may want to hide under your blankets until the pain goes away, you shouldn’t.
Choosing to face the world head on will show you how strong you really are and when you
realize this you’ll see you’re unstoppable.
And if your ex boyfriend sees you in this unstoppable state of mind, he is going to
want to come crawling back to you… and if that’s what you’re really interested in,
then I highly encourage you to check out this website at www.BreakupAmy.com -- in this video,
you’ll learn some covert, psychological techniques to make your ex boyfriend want
to come running back to you.
Again, that URL is www.BreakupAmy.com so head on over to that website after this video.
Now remember, as much as you may feel like throwing in the towel or admitting defeat,
you’re not alone in feeling the way you do.
In fact there are millions of people who at this very moment are facing similar battles
and are searching for their own strength.
Which brings me to my next tip...
3.)
Getting Used to Flying Solo One of the hardest parts of dealing with a
breakup is getting used to flying solo.
Sure it can be tough when you’re suddenly doing all the things you used to do together
alone, but what most people don’t see is how exciting it can be to re-embrace your
independence.
Think about it, you get to relearn that your own company is the best kind of company and
that there’s a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.
Once you embrace the idea of flying solo, you can actually start to appreciate your
own awesome self.
Start a journal to write down your thoughts, treat yourself, go on dates with yourself,
binge watch your favourite shows, go for hikes, pick up new hobbies, plan a trip and always,
always compliment yourself.
Slowly, through heartbreak’s drawn out pain, you begin to realize that going home alone
isn’t a dark, daunting thought.
It’s kind of great, actually.
4.)
Finding Yourself Again
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been with someone for three months or three years, time
doesn’t determine how you felt about someone or the impact they’ve had on your life.
No matter how much your relationship changed you as a person, it’s important to find
yourself again as an individual.
This means rediscovering your own routine and stability.
It sounds tough, but it’s really quite simple.
Before your ex boyfriend was a part of your life, you were a strong and independent person.
To find yourself again, you need to go back to being that person.
Of course you won’t be the exact same person as you were before - the experiences and lessons
along the way have undoubtedly made you stronger wiser - still, pick up the pieces of you and
rebuild yourself into the unbeatable force you are.
Sometimes all a broken heart needs to be put back together again, and as the late, great
Marilyn Monroe once said, “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall
together.”
5.)
Remembering the Good Times Believe it or not, there will come a time
when you can look back on your past relationship and smile.
It may take a year it may take 10, but when it does happen you’ll no longer feel angry
or upset thinking about it.
Maybe you’ll hear a song that flashes you a memory or perhaps you’ll pull out the
shoebox from the back of your closet- the one where you crammed all the love notes,
ticket stubs and photos.
Either way, my point is that when you finally get to this stage you’ll be able to look
back and remember the best parts of your relationship instead of the awful bits.
Well, that’s all for this video, hopefully it’ll help you along your path to getting
over heartbreak.
Whenever it seems impossible just remember that it may be hard right now, but as Confucious
said, “this too shall pass.”
If you have any questions for me feel free to post in the comments below, I’ll do my
best to get back to you, and if you’d like to show your support for my channel you can
do so by clicking “like” below and following me on my social pages.
I’ll post the links to those below.
So, until next time, take care and I’ll see you soon!