King of The Hill was the subject for one of our very first popular videos on the channel and Squid
Game has been a subject we’ve tackled in a million ways already. So, we thought to combine the two,
with Squid Game as popular as it is, especially in popular culture, and with a rumored King of
The Hill continuation on the horizon, we ask one very important question.
I’m _______ with WickedBinge and this is Which
King of The Hill Character Would Survive Squid Game?
With that, we only have one rule for this list due to King of The
Hill being a generally down-to-earth show. That rule is, everyone comes into
the games with no weapons or enhancements so they are all on an even playing field.
Our contestants for today’s Squid Game are the following: Hank, Peggy,
Bobby, Luanne, Lucky, Cotton, Didi, Dale, Nancy, Joseph Gribble, Bill,
Boomhauer, John Redocorn, Kahn, Minh, Buck Strickland, Buckley, Enrique,
Chuck Mangione (“man-jo-knee”), Jimmy Wichard, Stuart Dooley, Clark Peters,
Karen Stroup, Booda Sack, Joe Jack, Junie Harper, Willie Lane, Dirk, and Alabaster Jones.
With our rules and players revealed,
we can start talking about our first game, that being: Red Light, Green Light.
To survive the sniper rifle onslaught of Red Light, Green Light,
you need two things to survive. A level head is required to stay
still if you’re going to survive after the first shots are let loose. Secondly,
you will need superb listening skills not only for this game but for every single one of them.
Some early game stand-outs include main man Hank Hill who was not only willing to join the military
showing his superb listening skills that are necessary for such a job, but he is also one
of the characters most willing to change through the show, showing that he’s a level-headed person.
Cotton was also a military man and while he is a headstrong and obstinate type of guy, his military
training would make him a shoo-in for this game. Everyone’s favorite fast-talker Boomhauer also
passes this game because of his superb listening skills and his shockingly level head. Finally,
Karen Stroup due to her background as a pastor has a level head and is a great listener.
We sadly have to get rid of Dale Gribble this early in the game. This is because despite
his multitude of skills, especially in combat and stealth, he lacks a level head and great listening
skills. Dale’s conspiracy mind is what really drops him in this game, he would probably be
focusing more on why he was there and blaming the government than he would be on surviving.
we’re also eliminating Chuck Mangione during this deadly game. Chuck dies during this game for one
major reason and that is his sanity. He signed a contract with Mega-Lo Mart to appear at every one
of their openings because he didn’t read the fine print. He then hides within the Arlen Mega-Lo Mart
and kind of fell off his rocker, which makes it hard for him to survive a game like this.
Very few people fell into the purview of dying during Red Light,
Green Light leaving us with 28 out of our original 30 when we head into The Honeycombs.
The Honeycomb Cookies are the second game that players do, and require two skills if
one wants to survive it. The first skill is patience, this means those who are patient
are more likely to survive because you need a lot of patience to cut out those shapes. Secondly. You
need a steady hand so you don’t break the cookie, shaky hands or big fat hands cause you to fail.
Those likely to survive this game include Bobby Hill who is not very patient but he
is very steady-handed, due to his marksmanship skills. Cotton survives this second game, once
again due to his military training which makes him very steady-handed and quite patient when need be.
John Redcorn needs a steady hand to be as skilled of a masseuse as he is. Finally, Kahn survives
for similar reasons to Cotton, due to his military training and surprising patience for most things.
The first to go during this game is Hank’s boss Buck Strickland.
Buck is a lot of things, but patient is not one of them, he’s been shown to be relatively impatient
during this show, not as bad as some but more so than someone like Hank. Secondly,
due to his age, it’s probably unlikely that he has enough of a steady hand to survive the game.
We sadly also have to eliminate Jimmy Wichard. While not a fan favorite, Jimmy is a well-known
recurring secondary character on the show. But those who know Jimmy know he is not a patient man,
just look at when he tried to make Bobby go across the racetrack to get him a soda and couldn’t wait
for him to go around. So it’s no surprise he fails in a game that requires patience.
Finally, we’re also eliminating Alabaster Jones
everyone’s favorite Snoop Dogg-voiced pimp. Alabaster’s whole shtick is the fact that he’s
kind of impatient and more than a bit jealous of Hank who he thought was a pimp. Alabaster’s
impatience is a death sentence in a game like this, which explains his elimination.
With shockingly few eliminations as of now, we have 25 of our
original 30 contestants during The Midnight Brawl.
We consider the Midnight Brawl as its own game, and because of that, we’ve found three major ways
to survive this game. You can win this game through your combat skills, as being a good
fighter makes you a major threat in this game. You can win through stealth, being able to hide means
you survive. Finally, being intelligent also means you can survive in a multitude of different ways.
Some relevant survivors include Lucky who is not as smart as some of the other characters but due
to his skills in Sticking he may be able to survive pretty easily. Once again,
Cotton Hill is a stand-out survivor due to his militarily trained combat skills and
his above-average intelligence. Kahn is a bit smarter than most of the characters in the show
and not only that but is skilled at Sticking like Lucky, was in the military like Cotton, and knows
some martial arts. Finally, Willie Lane survives this game due to his large size being a major
deterrent against attacking him and he would prove tough to bring down as it stands due to his size.
Due to her lack of fighting school and being generally average, we’re eliminating Peggy Hill.
Peggy dies because of the aforementioned reasons, she has average stealth skills and she thinks
she’s a lot smarter than she is, she also lacks any skills in fighting. The only person we can
remember her taking down in the show is Bobby because his secret weapon doesn’t work on her.
So, for these reasons, she doesn’t survive the night.
Her niece Luanne Platter also falls into this category. This is because,
like Peggy, she lacks any fighting skills, but she’s also quite ditzy at times. She plays into
the dumb blonde stereotype throughout most of the show and is generally ditzy compared to the rest
of the cast. You combine these facts and a game like this isn’t the place for survival for you.
Another one of Hank’s friends, Bill is next on our list. This is because of a few reasons,
like the aforementioned characters, Bill is not a fighter he’s probably the most pacifistic
character on the show. Secondly, due to his weight, he’s not great at hiding or fighting,
and he’s also not the smartest, which gives him a knock in all three categories.
Luanne’s old boyfriend Buckley also dies during this game for a couple of reasons.
Buckley is a teen which makes him kind of indignant, but he’s much like Luanne when
it comes to intelligence. He’s kind of ditzy and not very intelligent throughout the show,
combine that with the fact that he’s not a combatant, and he’s a shoo-in for execution.
Big bully, Clark Peters is the last to be eliminated during this game. This is due to Clark
not being the strongest combatant, as he is one of the first to feel Bobby’s wrath.
But he also lacks a lot of intelligence,
which makes it hard for him to survive. So it’s no surprise this firebrand is killed.
Going into the next game we still have 20 of our original 30, a perfect amount to play Tug of War.
Tug of War is a very interesting game to play because it requires two very distinct
skills if one wants to survive. Those two skills are the strength needed to pull the other team
off of the tall tower, and the teamwork that can be used to overpower brute strength if needed.
The stand-out survivors of Tug of War include John Redcorn who is one of the
stronger characters in the series and while he’s not the heaviest teamwork kind of guy,
he’s not one of the worse ones either. Joe Jack is a relatively big guy and works pretty well on a
team typically, at least if you look at Strickland Propane. Willie Lane once more survives due to his
intense strength and his past as a part of a team-based game like Football. Finally, Dirk
who at the very least works well in a pair and is one of the strongest characters in the show.
Sadly, the first to go is Cotton Hill who we thought would run away with the contest, but
much like his shins, he lost it amongst a group of bodies. Cotton is an older gentleman to be
generous and has his many shortcomings, pun very much intended. His lack of strength due to his age
and his pure refusal to work in a team, especially if Hank is near it, means he sadly has to go.
Next to go during this game is Nancy Gribble,
wife of Dale and news anchor. Nancy fails this game for one reason and one reason only,
that’s her competitiveness. In one episode it’s proven that when Dale is not around,
she grows very competitive very quickly, causing her to be highly unlikely to play on a team. This
is a death sentence during this game especially since she’s not a beacon of strength or anything.
Another mom on this list, Minh is the next to be eliminated. Minh is kind of a pretentious person,
which makes her not that great of a team player. Yes, she worked with some of the other
neighborhood moms on occasion but she is always vying to be team leader which can be disastrous.
Next, the deadpan bully Stuart Dooley is the next elimination. This is due to his scrawny
body being no beacon for strength and his likely lack of working on a team. Yes, he
usually hangs around Clark Peters, but he’s also a bully, making him not much of a team player.
He is, however, one of the funniest characters in the series, but that doesn’t help him here.
Finally, Junie Harper is eliminated. Junie Harper is a one-time villain who hates Halloween
and the Hills. She is an older woman with a bit of a “frumpy” disposition, this makes her
not the strongest, but she would refuse to be on a team with anyone she calls demonic.
With half of our original cast, a clean 15 of 30, we now make it to the infamous Marble Game.
The Marble Game rewards one major strategy outside of being able to play games with marbles.
This is manipulation, and this skill goes both ways,
we factored in the character’s manipulation skills and their likelihood to be manipulated.
Those who surprisingly sweep through this game include Jeff Boomhauer who’s speech pattern
makes it hard to manipulate people but he is also shown to be hard to manipulate as well.
John Redcorn is not a master manipulator but one of the better ones in the show
and Karen Stroup who’s godly background makes her a skilled manipulator in some ways.
The first to be eliminated is Lucky who is, as we mentioned earlier, not the smartest
which makes him easier to manipulate than the general character list. Combine this with his
low manipulation skills, and it makes it easy for us to eliminate him in this game.
Sadly, we have to see Didi Hill go. This is due to her not being great at manipulation
and her time as Cotton’s wife has made her relatively easy to manipulate. If it wasn’t
for these factors she would continue on, but as it stands, she passes on instead.
Dale’s son Joseph Gribble goes for similar reasons. Due to his age, he is relatively easy
to manipulate and he is a generally awkward guy who wouldn’t be good at manipulation.
Another teenage casualty is Connie. This is due to her father Kahn,
who is relatively good at manipulating her, you combine this with her shy
personality and it’s not hard to see why she dies in this game.
Hank’s coworker Enrique is the next to pass in this game. This is similar to the previous
entries, he’s not a great manipulator, and combine that with his general subservience
to a manipulator like Strickland, it’s not hard to see him die.
Comedian turned co-worker, Booda Sack falls for the exact same reasons as Enrique. He’s not a
manipulator by any stretch of the imagination and doesn’t mind being manipulated by Strickland.
Finally, Dirk dies during this game for pretty obvious reasons. Dirk is sort of a meathead,
and while he can subtly manipulate Bill, we think almost anyone could manipulate
Bill like that. His meatheadedness would also make it pretty simple to manipulate him.
With 8 of our original 30 left in this Squid Game, we reach our penultimate game,
none other than The Glass Bridge.
The Glass Bridge is a hard game to quantify, due to the assumed randomness of the game. But we’ve
figured out two criteria to judge the contestants on, that being the very niche likelihood to tell
the types of glass apart. Or, the second aspect, that being the player’s ego. Those with a large
ego are more likely to pick a lower number to go first... Which means they would likely die.
The first to pass during this game is Hank Hill. Now, Hank is not an egomaniac by the typical
standard, but we feel like he always touts himself as slightly higher than everyone
else. Even Boomhauer and Dale agree that he kind of talks down on them. We don’t think
he would pick a high number, but we think his lording-over attitude would get the better of him.
Next up is Native American Healer John Redcorn. He’s definitely the type to pick a low number,
or even number one, to let fate decide things
Not so friendly neighbor, Kahn is kind of similar. Kahn has a bit more of an ego than
the other members of Rainey Street and thinks he’s better than the “hillbillies” he lives next to.
Kahn is not as egomaniacal as Redcorn but he’s definitely not a humble person.
This next character is mostly through a process of elimination, that being Karen
Stroup. She falls here solely because she has a bit more of an ego than the characters we feel
would make it to the finale. She doesn’t show a lot of ego during the series, but she does get
prideful at moments, especially during her first episode and the episode where she dates Bill.
Next on the list is none other than Joe Jack, honey. Joe Jack is a truck driver for Strickland
Propane and has a bit of an unearned ego. He has been lambasted by Hank and co multiple times for
being one of the worst workers on the staff but not only keeps his job but acts more prideful
than he should. We like Joe Jack, we just think he doesn’t earn his ego and falls through the glass.
Finally, one of the more obvious ones is Willie Lane. Willie is a one-episode villain
and he steals that spotlight as much as he can from the Hills and co. He not only flaunts his
status as a Dallas Cowboy repeatedly but uses his Super Bowl ring to get out of arrests.
There is no doubt he would probably fight John Redcorn to be number one.
We are now down to our final duo as they face each other in The Squid Game.
The Squid Game comes down to one thing and one thing only,
that is your combat skills. Now, while the Midnight Brawl
tested the skills in group combat, this focuses on hand-to-hand singular combat.
Our final two survivors are fast-talking Texas Ranger
Jeff Boomhauer and wannabe comedian Bobby Hill.
After long deliberation, we sadly have to see Jeff Boomhauer die during this game.
This really comes down to the fact that despite Boomhauer’s overall intelligence, patience,
and teamwork skills, he just can’t cut it in a fight. Bobby at the very least has his defense
course training which would undoubtedly lead to his victory with a swift kick to the groin.
King of The Hill is one of those shows with so many different possible victors,
but it had to be Bobby Hill... that boy truly ain’t right.
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our
ranking. And tell us what we should cover next. Remember to hit that notification
bell and binge more of our videos. But most importantly, stay wicked.