Look, you guys, I've thought about it, and I really don't belong here.
I think I should go back to the kiddie table.
You can't go back.
You can never go back, bro.
[gasp]
You're one of us now.
A grown-up.
Better start working on those taxes, Lincoln.
[screaming]
Where do you think you're going?
[screaming]
Please! I have to get back to the kiddie table!
I'm not a grow up yet. I'm still a kid!
One of us.
- One of us. - No!
Sergio, we need more ice.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
Sergio, más agua fresca, por favor!
And then you can walk Lalo.
- Oh, Sergio...! - Sergio, I could use more lemonade.
[talking over each other]
Sheesh, so demanding!
Rather go to Peru.
[Rita] Dinner!
[chatter]
Here they are!
[Hector sings a triumphal tune]
Lori, Bobby! We saved you a spot.
No, we saved you a spot.
Um, how about we sit in the middle?
Here, try my turkey-skin-infused stuffing. You're going to love it.
But first, try my tamales.
I added an extra kick.
[chuckling] An extra kick. That's cute.
They don't want heat. They want sweet!
Here, kids, taste my marshmallow-covered potatoes.
[scoffs] How do you know what they want?
They're clearly craving my homemade shredded turkey mole.
- Grrr! - Grrr!
Ooh!
Torta Fridays! Best day of the week.
This looks delicious.
I'm starving and everything is sore.
What you put in your body the night before a big test is crucial.
A study showed that cutting out meat...
- [gasps] - dairy...
Not the cheese!
and starches can radically improve your test scores.
Oopsie!
Forgot the beans.
Definitely can't have those.
Huh?
Bleah, hey!
You lost your torta privileges, mister!
[Lynn Sr.] Cabbage in fish sauce!
Back by popular demand.
Hey, what's the matter? Aren't you guys hungry?
Dad, I hate to say this,
but thanks to Lisa, we have no choice.
This dish is gross and not in a good way.
It's super gnarly.
It smells like Walt's bird cage.
But the other night you all--
We didn't like it then, either.
After you went to bed, we ordered takeout.
Well, have fun eating cereal for dinner.
[Lisa clears her throat] So, Luan, got any jokes to liven this dinner up a little?
Well, since some people find my jokes pretty forced,
I'd rather not.
Mother? Any compelling work stories?
Some say my voice makes them zone out,
so I'll pass.
Okay...
Uh, Lori, how about treating us to some juicy gossip?
Oh, I wouldn't want to annoy anyone with my stories that go on and on.
Ugh, I'm out of here.
Lost my appetite.
[alarm buzzing]
That is false, you still have it.
- Fine, I'll eat in my room! - Me, too.
I totes can't believe you would say that to me!
I probably don't eat cool enough.
[sigh]
I admit eating alone isn't ideal,
but I still think this is for the best.
[alarm buzzing] Lie.
No, it isn't! I'm doing my family a service,
and I'm certain they'll thank me someday.
[alarm buzzing] False.
You no longer believe that.
Oh, Boo-Boo Bear, this is so romantic.
And these pizza tacos your abuela made are delicious.
Thanks, babe.
I'm just glad we're finally celebrating our pizza-versary
the way you deserve.
Thanks, Boo-Boo Bear. Literally best pizza-versary ever!
Uh-oh. Maybe Tía Frida shouldn't have used real pepperonis?
No, no! You...! No!
[screams]
Oh...
So, Dad, I bet it's a nice change to have someone cook for you, huh?
Actually, some of my patients cook for me.
Oh, you should taste Señora Luisa's lomo saltado.
Oh, riquísimo!
[Rosa] Mm...
B-B-But this is delicious, too.
Well, sounds like he doesn't need our food.
Well, I bet you've really missed TV.
I recorded all the seasons of "Adiós Ana, Adiós" you missed.
Oh, I've been meaning to tell you,
the last season was filmed in Peru!
I was an extra. Dead Guy Number Four.
[clears throat, exhales]
Whoa!
Wow, your life sounds so amazing.
Yeah, way better than here. Who would wanna leave--
Dad, did you know that Abuela made delicious horchata?
Bet they don't have that in Peru!
Sorry Mija, but I'm cutting down on...
[both] Sugar.
I look in on you from time to time with my third eye.
She's just kidding Dad. She can't really see you in Peru.
Yes I can.
You know, for a doctor, you don't wash your hands much.
[laughs nervously]
[clears throat]
Is anyone else feeling chilly?
Good thing I have my traditional Peruvian manta.
Ah, yes, mantas, all the old ladies in the village wear them.
[laughs embarrassed] Oh...
Hey Dad, how's the produce there? I heard the papayas are huge.
What's the craziest injury you've ever treated?
What's the fashion like in Peru?
Can I go to Peru? For my birthday?
Grrr!
You know what, Dad? I bet you're exhausted.
I'll show you your room. Good night everybody.
I don't care if he doesn't wash his hands.
Wienerschnitzel.
Not to brag, but this tastes exactly like last Wednesday's,
and I've got this recipe dialed in!
What are you doing?
Self hypnosis.
Maybe it can make myself believe the Wienerschnitzel tastes like ice cream.
Oh, I want ice cream! Move!
Come up with your own coping mechanism!
No, no! No, no, no!
Phew, that was close.
I almost had to order us pizza.
[chuckles]
Oh, are we playing charades?
I know! You're a rat trying to get out of a burrito.
- Nailed it. - Nah, that's not it, Hector.
Let's see. You're long and you're wiggly...
You're spaghetti!
[gasp]
Oh, you're a...
No!
Snake!
I still think it's a rat in a burrito.
Oh, no! He's choking!
Pajarito! Pajarito!
Abuela, that never works!
[choking]
[groaning]
[panting]
Got him.
What is that thing doing here?
Mr. Scully, we can explain.
The Changs had nowhere else to put their reptiles.
It was only for the weekend.
It won’t ever happen again.
Nunca!
- Don't be mad. - I had nothing to do with this.
I’m not thrilled that you allowed this Mrs. Casagrande.
You broke the rules, your family broke the rules,
the Changs broke the rules.
You’re all out!
[gasping]
Is what I’d normally say,
but that brave and noble snake saved my life.
[sighing]
Maybe I misjudged the scaly little guy.
I mean that darn snake is a hero.
[hissing]
So, does that mean...?
From here on out, I will allow reptiles in the building.
[cheering]
Alright, get ready to feast, fam.
Not so fast. I meant feast your eyes.
We'll eat after I take photos for SwiftyPic.
Better take a few, JIC.
Ugh! I can't post these! They're totes ug.
[Lynn Sr.] I'm starting over.
[complaining] Hey!
Eat! Eat!
Actually, we had the best time.
What!?
Yeah, Dad's apartment is amazing.
He has central AC and a bathtub the size of a pool!
And he bought Ronnie Anne a new video game console,
and he got me a new tablet to keep at his place.
That's great, guys.
Mm-hm. Great.
[grunt]
[nervous chuckle]
Well, Lynn, I'm gonna give it to you straight.
This is one of...
the best meals I've ever eaten!
I knew it was a dumb idea!
I should have never served it!
I, um... Wait, what?
I've been all over the world and every chef serves me the same thing:
caviar, pâté, uni.
It's boring and uninspired.
Do you know at the last place I ate the chef served me "Air in a Jar"?
[laughs nervously]
What a bozo!
But your food is classic, comforting and delicious,
and when you travel as much as I do,
there's nothing better than food that tastes like home.
Ooh, I want to be in the Lynn Loud business!
Wow! Thank you, Tim! I don't know what to say.
I don't do hugs.
[crying]
Bobbito, the onions are too strong for your sensitive eyes.
[sniffling] No, no. This is great.
Alright, then I'm off to Jack's Hardware for a new plumbing snake.
Fashion Plate, we have a situation.
Mama Grande's on the move.
Uh, Abuela, quick!
I need one of your famous remedies to cure this rash.
OK, everyone, the tamalada is starting.
We're going to make the tamales.
[cheering]
Hector, the punch is for the whole family.
Mama, have you seen Ronnie Anne and Bobby?
No. Where are they?
It's not a tamalada unless everyone's here.
I don't know, but you're about to cook me.
The Hi N' Buy closes early today.
They should be back by now.
I'd better call them.
[voicemail] Hey, it's Ronnie Anne. Beep!
That was me saying beep. Here's the real beep.
Leave a message. [beep]
[gasp] Leave a message?!
Abuelas don't leave messages.
I have a bad feeling about this.
[Sergio] Me too.
Smells like chicken.
Oh wait, that's me.
Oh, wow! You made a...
[one by one] Potato, quinoa, turkey, chicken, meatloaf, bologna, frosting,
cereal, goulash, barf.
Well, bon appétit!
[gags]
Mm... It's, uh...
[retches]
[spitting]
[complaining]
[Lori] I can't get it off my tongue!
Mom, Dad, we're sorry. You guys were right.
Cooking for this many people is a nightmare.
We'll never complain about your food again.
[agreeing]
[Lana] Yeah, we promise.
I'm not keeping that promise.
- Coming through! - [screams]
[burp]
Oy! Fuego!
[baby voice] Ah, fuego!
[chuckling]
What a cute copy cat!
[camera shutter]
Carlitos, look at this.
- The cutest! - Look at that face!
[laughing]
Carlitos, copy this.
[imitates a walrus]
I'm a walrus. See?
Don't... Don't you wanna copy me too Carlitos?
[laughing]
Denied!
- Carl. - No, he's right.
Carlitos copies everyone but me.
Do you think it's because he doesn't like me?
Oh, of course not,
Carlitos is just a baby, and babies are finicky sometimes.
He'll warm up to you, you just need to give him time.
The average infant needs around six months before--
Thanks Tío, but, I'd rather just get Carlitos to like me now.
[slam]
[crying]
Ronnie Anne, you should try taking him to the park.
That's a great idea Tía Frida.
Come on Carlitos, let's get some fresh air.
[burp]
- Ah... - Sorry.
- Too much hot sauce. - Oh...
You got it, honey.
Tonight's dinner is leftover leftover hash.
[sniffs] Mm...
Boy, oh boy, that squid and sauerkraut sure has gotten pungent.
No, no, don't worry, I got this.
Wow, the squid mixed with the liver and the Lima beans...
Separately I was not a fan.
Yes, you made that clear.
But together, it's actually delicious.
Give me that rating card.
A+, my compliments to the chef.
[crying] This is going right on the fridge.
Hey, uh, are you OK, Ronnie Anne?
You're acting kind of weird.
[laughs nervously] No, I'm not.
I just wanted you to get to know my family and friends better, like uh...
- Vito! - Wha... Who?
Um, you talking to me?
Yeah, it's been forever, let's catch up.
How've you been?
Hey, why are you asking so many questions?
How much do you know?!
[growling]
Ugh, never mind, it's always "how much do you know" with you.
So, now that I've got you alone--
Uh... Waiter!
Can you tell me what's in the, uh, Everything Salad?
Uh, everything?
Go on.
Cucumbers, tomatoes, capers...
While you're deciding, I'm gonna go change.
...tofu, an everything bagel...
I should probably wear something more formal for what I'm about to do.
...Gorgonzola, peperoncini...
[gagging] I think I just lost my appetite.
[sighs]
[yelling]
So, I said to the Prime Minister,
"Two breads are better than one!"
[laughing]
Your comedy is so mature. Just like you.
To Lincoln! He puts the "grown-up" in "grown-up table"!
[everyone] To Lincoln!
[blows kisses]
That's it! I don't belong here!
I'm gonna go ask to join the grown-up table!
- Hah! - Good luck.
You really think they're gonna let you?
[in unison] Ooh!
[laughing]
You'll see. I'm gonna make it to the grown-up table
and leave all you children behind.