Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to Sneak Thief
So if you remember "A Very Organized Thief"
I don't think this has to do anything with that game
it's only tangentially related and I'm gonna make
an assumption that it's kinda similar and I don't know if that's true
*singsong* Don't look at me! I'm not sure of anything!
Ok but either way, like, the idea is kinda similar
so I'm gonna play the tutorial
or at least when I was looking at it, it was like kinda similar
maybe you go to a place and ya steal stuff, and that was kinda what, ya know- Ohhh, press space to jump!
It's like the Half Life tutorial, way back when!
Oh look at me! Oh, look at me go!
I'll take whatever the hell these are!
Sure, gold bars! I'm gonna believe you about that!
Man, you get seven of those, you'd be set for- HELLO...
Oh GOD NO!
Oh-ho-ho god, NO!! Oh god, NO!
He was so happy! I got gold BARS!
You want me to MURDER these people! I know what you want!
AGGGHH! Why do I gotta start off with a moral dilemma?
Alright, sure. *gun clicking*
Or maybe this, like, isn't at all what this was supposed to be,
It was supposed to be "these are the instructors" and it's like
Hey! Check out these cool fire- WHATAYA DOING? OH GOD NO! NOT MY FACE! *shot*
Oh. *shooting* OOOGGHH!
*sobs*
*sniff* Oooohooohooohoo.... Ho ho ho...
*shots * *sad laughter*
*sniff* *sad laughter* Oh no....
Oh NOOOO.... Oh no.... *several shots* Oh no -hohoho
Ohhh
Ohhhhhhh *shooting*
WOOOOW...
*giggles* That is a lot
*shot*
Oh my god...
Holy shit.
This game-- I lllove it.
Oh I can-- Oh, I can aim-
Lemme really get the bottoms of those feet.
Is there any part of you that does not have a bullet hole?
WELL NOT ANYMORE.
Good god, the wump on that gun
glad they actually caught the reality of the gun, here--
K, if you have collected enough money you will be able to leave in the escape vehicle.
Alright. Okay.
I did it. Let's go on a home invasion
that I imagine is gonna end in horrific murder
and I'm gonna be a terrible person
Hey, I can't get caught if every one that ever saw me is dead
OOooH boy!
Ok , so there's my escape vehicle
huh they'll never see me coming
I'm gonna barge though that fuckin' door
*chuckles*and then everyone's gonna- oh it's locked god damn it they've thwarted me
*Mumbles* I guess I'll have to go around
Can I cut the power is that a logical thing that I can do?
*surprised* OOOooh!
Ok, so 0,0 uhh huhh
3,2 ok
3,2
Noo that would be 3,1
SSSssshit
oh THAT'S 0,0 hang on I gotta do that again
[Alarm going off]
BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH
I FUCKED UP HOLY SHIT
♪ Didn't see that that was there ♪, ok
How 'bout-- how 'bout a little bit of
3,3
No that--Aww fuck it
FUCK THIS RESET IT
I can't do it right ok let's try this again
It's a good thing that they put the code right here
Boink!!
ok
1,2,3 1,2
boink
1,2,1
1,1,2
Hhyyeah
hhhell yeahhh!
Alarm cut off! they'll never see me coming now...
Oh-hoh! Cans of beans? The most valuable of stealables.
Okay this looks exactly like "A Very Organised Thief"
Chica!
Good God you startled me!
Pick up weapon? I don't wanna!
*sniffs*
I don't wanna murder!
I don't wanna murder.
Why must you make me murder?
aaAAahhh! Don't murder!
I'll take that, I'll take that, I'll just stuff that in my back butt-cheeks
you know, I got an infinitely spacious butthole.
I can fit just about anything up in there. *laughs nervously*
I've never been tested to the full limits of... Eww
Bottle of wine, vase, I'll take it.
uh...
Priceless bottles of wine that they leave out on the...
...shelf.
This is so Very Organised Thief, this is a hundred percent, Ooh!
Golden skull... *chuckles*
Okay...
That doesn't make any sense at all.
Oh, I gotta really make some space in my man-cave for THIS one.
Okay, there we go.
Take baseball bat, that's good, it's not a weapon.
And I just pushed that frickin' thing into the ether there, through the wall.
Alright, upstairs. Hope no-one's sleeping!
Boy that would be a mistake!
Oh, a bathroom. They got some valuables in here?
Priceless toilet? Maybe?
Why do they have another living-room upstairs, that's bizarre.
Bank documents? Hell yeah.
Oh what's that? Huh? Let's swing-swong at that.
Hey can you... can you show me exactly what's on there?
I wanna know real bad.
Oohh
huh... 8647 huh?
Is that a code to a safey-wafey?
Oh-ho someone tryin' to hide something from me?
Oh good, they're not in bed.
Well... I said 'THEY', there's only... there's only a one-person bed, so...
guess I'm not really....concerned about that
uh oh
someone's about to get whumped
who wants to get whumped?
I'm scared. I'm actually kinda scared.
I'm like "don't come in here".
Are they there?
OHH there's more bed-roooooms
ohhhh
I can still murder them
where ya at?
huh?
They'll never see me coming
They'll never see me coming *more nervous laughter*
You'd think they'd be a little bit suspicious
why do they have gold bars in their goddamn thing? *laughs*
8647 that was it right? ok here we go.
8
6
4
7
glad that was the extremely beepy one
I wouldn't want those light beeping things
ok
I'm outta here baby
I bet they're in that room so they'll never--
well ok they walked right in the front door
what a bunch of idiots!
Ha! what a bunch of losers
They NEVER saw me coming!
what a bunch of a-holes!
totally ignorant and stupid
oh good the bank's easy?
pffff
don't I know it? let's get this going
man what a bunch of dilllwe-
OH a police officer?
ha what a loser
alright I'm scoping out this --
umm maybe I can bribe this guy
hey buddy! hey hey buddy hey hey buddy hey!
hey you're not- you're not like those faceless mannequin people I murdered before
can you help me?
I'm pleading with you here
my you have
Beautiful eyes (sexy music)
and your chiseled jaw is so sensual and delightful
I love the way your hair looks like
plastic
you remind me of the Ken dolls that I used to "play" with as a child
would you like to play dress up with me?
One more time?
please..
call me "Barbie"
CALL ME BARBIE
(Record scratch, Music stops) ok anyway sorry about that.
alright ok don't mind me. I'm gonna go into this bank and uh
"make a withdrawal"
*nervous chuckle*
I'm gonna deposit some bullets into the people in there.
This is normal activity
I'm normal human
nothing wrong going on here.
Hello sir. please give me money
You look like my boxing coach
alright
Don't mind me sir, you're waiting on nothing
heh
ohh ohh ok
oh is this for everybody?
*nervous voice* Don't mind me...
Just meandering- DONT MIND ME
Apparently this is ok
I'll take this
heh I mean they're never gonna find it up my butthole
so I guess I'm gonna be ok
DOOT DOO DOO-DOO-DOO
They don't know anything has been going on.
I see a ladder outside I'm gonna make my way down there
Boy it's hard to waddle with all these paintings up my butt, but
You know I'm gonna make it manage somehow
HOOH
OHH JUST GOTTA SQUEEZE
HOH I should've done more squats in school
uegh
eughhhh god
oh why is it wet?
eughhhhhhhhhhhh
ok anyway
enough disgusting bulllshit
ooh
cut all power?
that sounds good
oh no
oh what happen?
Did all power go gone?
no apparently not ok
hebedep boop a doo
where the hell is this going?
what the hell do they have an attic?
where do they have an attic?
That's weird
Well I don't Know!
What's the password?
Hi *alarm sounds*
ahh ohh wasn't me
sorry about that
didn't do it, it wasn't me, don't mind me
don't mind me don't mind me don't mind me
it's nothing don't worry about it.
It's not- it's nothing
It's fine. it's totally cool
oh my god is someone robbing you?
I-I-I don't know what to do!
oh I'm so scared OW I'm so scared!
AHHH Oh right in the face.
I was trying to surrender
but you happened to shoot me in the eye
alright so
the moral of the story is
don't- don't do that
ok so somewhere in this bank
there's probably a code
and it's not in there, there's just a bunch of money over there
but there must be
there must be something in here that no one's gonna know about
ahh it's under the book isn't it?
ohh it's so under that book!
if I could just
if I could just somehow ughh
if I could just move that book
just
oh there we go
passwords
bond, lies, cars, back, dogs, bank, cash, band, cool, shot, cram, mega, book
ok
and I'm gonna remember it
by taking a picture of it because I can't remember anything
ok so it's probably one of those computer type do-daddies that um
you
you get it and you do the thing and then it gives you a correct number of letters
because that would be really convienent and definitely secure to have in a bank
ok so I got four tries at this bitch
bond, lies, cars, back, bank, cash, band, cool, shot, cram, mega, and book
so
the b words seem to be the best so I'm gonna try
bbbbb bank
eh
ah so it's an A but it's not a B so it's either cash or cars
so it's
c-ccaaaaasshh
*beep*
HEY
HOOHOOH
OF COURSE IT'S CASH
cause I'm gonna get a lotta OHHO
AH OH YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU
PLEASE AND THANK YOU
OH PLEASE AND THANK YOU
Get inside my rectum OHH THERE'S MORE
There's so much more
Good God
I'm not gonna be able to press E enough to shove this
I'm gonna need more butt space
ehhk
ok
alright
ok now that I've been encumbered properly let's get these watches up in there.
whadda we got oh more goldbars
I suppose I can take some
geh gehrr geh
ok
yeah
we did it! anything behind the counter? NOPE
I guess I'm all done!
It would probably be a bad idea to go out that door
because that probably leads to something
that would set off some kind of alarm. oh no it's actually above
where does that door lead?
NO IT'S ACTUALLY BELOW IT'S ACTUALLY BELOW I REMEMBER THAT GOES DOWNSTAIRS
AHH
MY LEGS ~
WOW
I have over a million dollars
Inside of my many cavities
HOOOOOOH
YEAH
I don't feel well. ok that's good
alright so that was "home invasion" and "bank"
those were the only two EASY levels so let's do
A normal level
let's do a normal one
let's see what it got for normal
I don't know if it's gonna be hard
I bet it's not I'm just too good of a thief
look at me go
OH
WOW
This is quite the house you got here
I suppose I can't just knock on the front door can I?
nooo it's locked
pick up a weapon
anybody home? ha belele
beblehbleheheh bleleleblele
ha bleh ha bleh
It was your fault for leaving a hammer right out in front
eh
guh
open up
guh
I can't exactly crawl through these but at least I can do some vandalism
that's almost as good as robbing
alright fine I'm going around
buh
ok
oh
hi!
OH YOURE GONNA GET IT
HEP
DE WHOA
WAIT WHOA
hey whoa
OWWW
OWW
*laughing* OWW that was the silliest whap fight I've ever had
alright let's try that again
apparently
there's a guy patrolling in the back yard
I did not know this
alright OH
well that's convenient
I guess I'm in
heh hacker voice
I'M IN
What is that
oh it's just a light
okay
dij- really their back door is j-just WIDE open all the time?
that doesn't seem LOOOOGICAL
ok though
nice house
oh so nice
gold vase
GOLD vase
that's something that everyone has
SILVER VASE
Worth half as much as the gold one
that doesn't make any sense
eh
hemmm
anybody home?
anybody?
HAHHH
WHOA JESUMS WHOA WAIT WHOA WAYWOWAYWO
YOU CAN'T CATCH WHAT YOU CAN'T SEE
OH EH EH I WANT THAT AHH MY HEAD
WHY DID YA HAVE TO BAP IT?
TAKE THIS YOU CAN'T STOP ME!
I'M SHOVING IT INSIDE ME!
OHOHOOOHOOHAHAHAHA
uh oh
ohwayaowaywowayo
AHHHHHHHH
I'm ok
I'm ok it's ok
neeeeeooo
you'll never catch me!
you'll never know where I am
heheheh
I need a wea-pan
aww I need something to smash
shoulda picked up that hammer from the beginning
but now they don't know where I went
what a bunch of idiots!
AHHH
THEY KNOW WHERE I WENT
AHHH THEY GOT ME
WHATS IN THE FRIDGE? I JUST WANNA SNACK!
YEUGHHH
COME OVER HERE COME AT ME BRO
OHOOHOOO WHAT A BUNCH OF STUPIDS!
ok
WEEEEEE
Ok
oh no the tv IN MA BUTT
oh I don't wanna be on the balcony this doesn't help anybody
goddamn doors
stop opening that way
oh I have a flashlight?
I had a flashlight this whole time I'm an idiot
yeah for a mansion this house doesn't have a lot
I need to goooo
I need to go get the hammer
eh shit
bam ok I'm locked and loaded and ready to go
oh I'm not gonna go home yet
I want more outta this house
if I have to smash every goddamn thing inside of it
I'm gonna do exactly that
hey buddy where'd your friend go? you all alone now?
It's a good thing I got unlimited sprint
I'm an Olympic level cardio runner
cause that's an Olympic event: Cardio Running
It's what they call it don't ask me
gold plate
bang
artifact?
Artifact?!
what does that mean artifact?
HEY STOP IT!
STOP BEING A DICK
oh you can't? oh this is a weapon
oh jeesums
this-- this--- I shouldn't have this
AHH THEYRE GONNA GET ME
AHH
THAT HURT KINDA I THINK
I'M NOT A HUNDRED PERCENT SURE
ahh I don't wanna go there with just two artifacts
oh I need more
what is this
take artifact
ok that was another artifact
that was worth exactly nothing
why was that worth nothing?
this is stupid
Well I guess that's everything
I just don't know how to get in the locked doors
huh
there is a locked room up there but
Lord knows if I know how to get to it
oh here's more
whoa
hello
[alarm beeping]
oh it was just an alarm
well
too bad
ha I think they know I'm here
I just have a sneaking suspicion that they might have
some kind of inkling that
I is here
oh let me do this little trick here
watch this
boink oh it didn't do nothing
AHHHHH
CANT DO IT YOULL HAVE TO SEE MY TRICK LATER!
EHHHHHHH
Alright I guess that's all for know
there might be more secrets to this one
but I think
I think I'm gonna be pretty much done with this game
so thank you everybody so much for watching
If you want to see to see me finish this game let me know in the comments down below
it's a little unrefined
I NEED 600,000 BEFORE I LEAVE?!
oh ok I'll be right back
how ya doing? you guys look tired
maybe you wanna lay down and
go the fuck away
can I lock them out of the house?
if I close this gate they won't be able to get in will they?
haha
hahoohhhh
oh look who got locked out
hhoho
look who got looocked out
oh there was more in here that's right
ha bam!
ha boosky
ha biff
ok I've got more than enough money now
They're gonna be waiting for me at the gate but
umm ma not much i can do about that
hep
oh
oh no
they lost interest and they are gone
I can't hop over that can I?
where did they go-
OOOOHH HELLO
HELLOOOO
OH GOODBYYYYEE
ok so now I think I'm done
so as soon as I get away
That's gonna be the end of this episode
so thanks again
everybody so much for watching
hope you enjoyed this
and there are a few more levels but
like I was saying before
it's a little unrefined
it's not exactly of the highest quality that I would say
and ordinarily I'd let this go
but this game costs money
so I gotta give it a little bit of criticism here on the
slightly not quite doneness of it
I mean it says early access but
people sometimes just use early access as an excuse to
Put games out there before they're really ready for the public
but either way
it's kinda fun
so thank you everybody so much for watching
and as always I will see you
in the next video
BUH BYE!
[Outro music]